How would you tell your girl that you want to have sex with her?

Question

Theres this girl iam dating and i really love her a lot and we have been together for three months now yes we do kiss and hug that is all but i want more than that like go to bed with her do i tell her whats on my mind or just do it? I dont want her to think that i am just after her body if i just do it i am confused help me

Answer 1

As the mother of a 19 year old who is expecting his first child with his 18 year old senior in high school girlfriend....I'd say, if you love her and want to have sex with her, put a ring on her finger, marry her, and enjoy your honeymoon. Anything other than that is just not a good idea. Promise you...I speak the truth!

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are at all, so I am guessing you are a young teenager.
Don't do this to her. If you want a lasting relationship that has respect in it, then protect her reputation, don't try to destroy it. Sex does not mean you love anybody more, especially at your age. God gave you brains, so use them. Girls are abused this way all the time, the old "if you love me you would do this" trick. It is not fair. Then you break up, and there she is permanently scarred by making a foolish mistake at a young age. What about pregnancy? Disease? I know you kids don't think about the long end of hasty decisions. AIDS is a death sentence, is this fair to delve into such a dangerous situation and place your lives in jeopardy? Have you had sex with others before her? What might you infect her with then? Clamydia? I am not saying you have a disease, but I am saying this is how it starts, how it spreads, how people die. Pregnancy? Are you prepared to support a child for the next 25 years?
Don't rush into sexual relationships ever. Boys lose their reputations this way too.
Be satisfied with hugs and kisses. Do not push for more. You should not push her to give in to you this way either.
When you treat a special person with kindness, respect and real love, you don't need to have a sexual relationship for quite some time. You have only been together three months. I would say, a solid relationship should be a couple of years before any idea of sexual intercourse becomes of interest.
Wait, be wise, be careful and don't hurt each other by doing a stupid thing now, that you could later regret, for many reasons.

Answer 3

You are a boy, so of course you are thinking about sex. If she is not ready for that or is too young to want that, it will not be happening. "Just do it" is not an option - you need to consider her response to the question and how it will effect your relationship. You can ask, but she may say no and it could be a while, especially if she is a virgin. Are you going to drop her if she won't? Is she going to drop you because she thinks you are moving too fast or adding pressure she does not want? You only need to ask once, if she says no or not yet, just let her know you are Ok with that but you wanted her to know you were interested in case she ever changed her mind....and do not mention it to her again. Don't cheat on her - if you require sex, you should just end the relationship when you cannot stand it any more and find yourself a loose girl if you gotta have it. The world will not end if you don't get something, though at your age it feels that way. I know the act is greatly romanticized and hyped - add all the peer discussion and the hormonal drives you have and it seems inevitable, but you are calling your own shots and she is calling hers. Are you a man or an animal? How long are you expecting to stay with her? Do you want to encourage her to give her body to your immediate desire when you are likley to have another girlfriend within the year anyway? How committed are you? Because this is a major commitment from her.

Answer 4

Age is a big factor and my advise isn't given to the underage nor immature.

When you are considering sex, you're taking your relationship to another level. No girl wants to think that's the only reason you want to be with her. Especially, If your intentions aren't about furthering your relationship with her. A mutual committment to a relationship and to be intimate with each other is generally made. No one wants a unwanted pregnancy or STD because you have a opened relationship to date other people. It's not worth the risk especially if you're just dating.

So, if you don't want her to think youre just after her body, and you really love her as you say. Take the relationship a step further with her, (if she agrees), and commit to just seeing each other.

* I have to commend you for waiting 3 months to even approach her. Most guys now days after the 2nd or 3rd date try to get into a girls pants. You've lasted 3 months. That says a lot.

Answer 5

"How do I love thee
Let me count the ways
I love to talk to you
I love to walk with you
I love your mind and all the time we spend with each other.

And yes, even though we have not gone that far, I would love to make love to you. This is not the pinnacle of my love, just a part of it.

And yes even when that day comes I will still love the rest of you. In maybe a more mature and complete way."

It is just a start but romantic conversation is the best way.

You could also just start a conversation about birth control. I once had a girlfriend that brought up sex in that manner. "I have to tell you that I don't have sex without condoms." My answer, "gosh, I was just hoping for a goodnight kiss."

Take your time. If it is right, it will happen.

... When it is right.

Sincerely Yours, Cyrano of the long nose

Answer 6

well if you do love her
and she doesn't wanna continue further it wouldn't be the wisest action from your part!!
maybe take her for a romantic walk and let her know what you feel
tell her how you love her and that she is really important to you and tell her that her feelings are important to you and after you've told her that no matter what her decision is you'll still love her then ask her where your relationship's going!!
and if she intends of taking things somewhere like if she will ever sleep with you and let her also know that you don't wanna do it if she's not ready yet!!
on the other hand if having sex with her is all you want and she loves you you can always tell her if you don't get layed with me I'll dump you!!
but i think it's going to be a stupidity what you are doing!!
cause after that you'll both feel different for each other
and if she's a virgin she might brake up with you!!

Answer 7

well if you really love this girl and she feels the same then you kiss and play around with her and get her real hot, then rub on her legs and move up slowly and go to un button her pants, if she says no then after a little while you can say nicely earlier when I went to un button your pants why did you say no, and that will open up the discussion, then you can tell her how you feel and how much you love her and that you are not just after her body,tell her if you had been you wouldn't have waited this long to make a move, that will let you know where she stands on having sex with you, who knows she might not stop you, hope this helps,

Answer 8

a bit of advice first.keep a condom with you whenever you are out together. now back to your question. you said you'll kiss and hug. during the kissing , try moving your hands a bit. towards her chest is a good idea. gently .if she doesnt object start that way. a full close up hug will also help,especially when you are aroused . theres no way she will miss the arousal. and she'll get the idea that you want her. if she's willing, the condom i mentioned earlier will be useful

Answer 9

Well it depends how old you two are... if your not adults yet... you need to talk first. She may just go along with it because she doesn't no how to just say she's not ready and because she doesn't want to lose you. If you're adults... Just go for it... and if she says "no" listen. And you are after her body, don't lie to yourself about it... obviously not just her body..,but your human!

If you're adults...I'd set up a romantic occasion... cook dinner, make your place nice, dim the lights, sweep her off her feet... it always worked for me. But if she says "no" you can't be mad or feel like you did all that work for nothing. You're doing all this work to make a wonderful night because you love her! Oh and marriage isn't necessary for sex! Sex is natural and to deny it to deny being human, it's lying to ourselves... All you need is safety and love!

Regardless,
Don't forget sex works well. (meaning sex is supposed to make babies) so use protection and have fun being human!

Answer 10

Just enjoy each others company for the evening. Find out what she likes and be open with each other. Make her dinner and dim the lights. Your only human and approach her very gentle but if she says "no" then don't be mad. Just be there for her and tell her your true feelings. This is only if your both adults and oh use protection to avoid having babies.