Why if a guy wants to hang about with a girl everyone assumes all he's interested in is having sex with her?

Question

Yesterday I posted a question about me wanting to hang about with my exgirlfriend outside of school because we're bestfriends but her Dad won't let her hang out with boys and I just want to prove to him that I've got nothing but good intensions, which I have got nothing but good intensions and people started answering with things like: "Oh just admit it you want to get into bed with her and that's the only reason you have for hanging about with her" and other things like that when sex hasn't even come accross my mind at all apart from the fact that I'd only sex with her when she's 17 if she wanted to and we were going out together which we're not at the moment as you should be able to figure by the word exgirlfriend and only if I wouldn't be taking advantage of her and at the moment I wouldn't be bothered if her Dad was brething down the back of my neck as long as I'd get to hang about with her somewhere other then school.
Incase your interested this is a link to the question I asked: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlvSTQtrhS9fyNEssBbVHNEhBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20071109090116AA0CdK4
Why do people always assume if a guy wants to hang about with a girl though, all he's interested in is having sex with them?

I understand my exgirlfriend's Dad's point of view especially seen as I'm 15 and my exgirlfriend is 12 and that he's just looking out for his daughter and that many people my age would attempt taking advantage of her but that's no need for others to assume the same as it isn't what I'd do, I just like my ex's company.

I still fancy my ex but I don't want to hang out with her for sex and I never fancied her because I wanted sex.

She does hang about with her female friends and all her female friends are my friends as well so I'm able to hang about with her just as much as anyone else. I only really hang about with girls.

Answer 1

Most guys don't hang out with girls. Those who like to hang out with girls the way girls hang out with each other are rare. Those who hang out with girls to get sex are much more common. Therefore, every guy who hangs out with girls is guilty until proven innocent.

In fact, I'd wager that most guys who hang out with girls for nonsexual purposes are either transgendered (i.e. girls in guys' bodies), gay, or asexual--or just sensitive guys (who are as rare as the other groups I mentioned).

Answer 2

I think her father is right. You already see her 5 days a week, she is not your girlfriend just a friend. If your interest isn't sexual then it is slightly obsessive. This week alone you have posted over a dozen questions which directly mention her.

If you want to gain his respect then you have to comply with his wishes until he learns to respect you.

Your interest in her might be pure, but she is still a 12 year old child. Yes I mean child, she is playing at being a young women.
Until she is anywhere near that stage, her father must set the boundaries. At 15 you should be starting to realise your responsibilities as a young man.
Next year, theoretically, you are old enough to get a full time job and father a child yourself. If this thought is not levelling enough, you should also be aware that your friend is yet to develop a great deal physically and mentally, as are you.

I think it is time you took some responsibility here and backed off. Whilst I appreciate you are sensitve by nature, you don't seem to be empathetic to her fathers sensibilities.

Answer 3

i know i totally hate it when people do that. where i live people say that if a girl hangs out with a guy at night then she has no self respect..that's b.s what if they are dating?, what if it's just a friend that's walking her home from a group meeting? i had a guy do that once and we never dated or had sex. i hate generalizations like that! :S

so personally i don't think there's anything wrong with that and if i saw you two on the street even at night i wouldn't think you're a horny jerk..but what can you do some people are old fashioned...

now when it comes to the dad..the only thing you can do now is hang in her house.. if you get the dad's trust you can slowly move things outside :D

Answer 4

People assume that because of their own experience. In my experience with girls and guys there is always one who is more keen on interested - but i put this down to my single sex education.

You obviously have huge feelings for her but how do you know they are friendship?

Of course guys don't always want sex only but is the feeling a feeling of friendship. Do you miss her like you miss a mate? If not then you like her.

We don't assume you just want sex, just that you are very keen on being romantic with her and enjoying her company.

Answer 5

Because many people in life judge others by their own standards, it says more about their grubby and suspicious little minds than it does about your relationship with Charley. Also, most guys your age do not have the respect for girls that you have, so all they want to do is jump them.

Answer 6

A 12 year old girl needs female friends of the same age to 'hang out' with. By insisting that you hang out with her - regardless of what you say your motivations are - you alienate the girl from her proper year mates. You are thinking only of yourself, not of the girl.

Answer 7

Well, most of the time...99% of the time...the only reason a guy hangs out with a girl is to have sex. It's just natural. Even the 'good guys that are just good freinds' still have sex with the girls they hang out with(trust me).

Answer 8

only time will answer this question of yours. Give this Dad time. Let him see you often but make sure you never have sex with this girl, otherwise your screwed!

Answer 9

Ok, you're right but, you have to realize that there are a lot of boys like this and it's natural for him to be suspicious.

Answer 10

because men think about sex 20 times a minute.