What does a child need to grow up and be healthy, happy and successful?

Question

What do you think?

I think that when I am a parent, I will push my children to do everything so they will have as many roads in life as possible. I don't think its fair to just let your children do what they want or they might end up useless.

Its interesting that people are against parents being pushy. I found that when I was older, I resented my parents for not being more pushy with me and leaving me to my own devices (which meant wasted, unconstructive years)

Answer 1

A child needs love, security, food and shelter to be healthy happy and successful.
They do not need parents pushing them to be something they are not interested in being. You should give your children options in life and let them decide which things they are interested in pursuing.
Children should not be left to their own devices, they should be guided by options opened to them by their parents. Not pushed, guided!

By guided I mean, seeing what their strengths and weakness' are and then pursuing appropriate things to help them develop those areas. If your child was great at writing, discuss enrolling them in a creative writing course, if they love the outdoors, then discuss them joining the Scouts or an outdoor adventure club. Children should never ever be made to do something they don't enjoy or it will make them not want to go and rebel against their parents. When they ask to do something take advantage of it.
My daughter is 5 and at the beginning of the year expressed a desire to do dancing. I found a reasonably priced dance class with an attitude of fun and fitness. We decided to enrol her and see what her abilities were and if she liked it. She does like it but now says she wants to do swimming classes. That is totally fine with me, but she has to finish out the year of dance and then start the new year with swimming. Its all about balance and listening to what your child wants rather than pushing them to no end to do things they hate. It will only lead to problems later on.

Would you push your child to do basketball or piano lessons if you could see they hated it and were really crap at it?

Parenting is all about compromise and until you have kids you can say all the things you are going to do and trust me, when the time comes you'll be singing a different tune!!

Answer 2

You totally have the wrong idea. It is bad to be a pushy parent, especially if you have a shy, sensitive type of child. My mother was very pushy with me, not to mention insulting, and all it did was make me feel bad about myself. When I became an adult I asked her why she acted the way she did, and she said it was to make me a better person. Is it surprising I chose not to be a parent?

Answer 3

i think of abuse and living in a annoying, tremendously annoying abode has the aptitude to decrease neurological functionality over the years. i don't classify a mild spanking as abuse. I additionally do not positioned any faith in IQ assessments. So no, i've got not got self assurance the learn that exhibits spanking lowers IQ, considering the fact that i've got not got self assurance IQ is a correct degree of intelligence or capacity in the 1st place. The learn I even have examine look leaping the gun and assuming that correlation between decrease IQ's and spanking capacity that the spanking is inflicting decrease IQ's, that's a logical fallacy. The decrease IQ rankings are greater in all probability brought about by utilising issues like the mother and father' intelligence, club to particular religious sects, the community they stay in and what the family contributors dynamics are. The publishers of the learn have been taking a set of uncooked records and twisting it to examine their purpose, incredibly than thinking and providing all the data. i'm not a spanking determine, i've got not got self assurance in it in my view, yet i don't oppose it for human beings to apply if it works for them. i might want to work out an truthful, impartial learn carried out that starts with the data THEN attracts the tip, not starts with a end then exhibits a thank you to make information in high quality condition it. If that's carried out, then i will evaluate my opinion back. those at present revealed, even nonetheless, are trouble-free records manipulation and that i don't base my evaluations of something in step with that.

Answer 4

Give them love...you can't make a child do what you want them to or you will push them away...all you can do is from the time they are born, love them...and spend time with them doing the things that you think will benefit them...if they are having fun doing it...maybe they will go that way in life...and teach their children what you tought them... and all the generations to come will be successful....

you just have to remember that children are like blank sheets of paper and the parents are the first ones to write on them... use a pen and it will never be erased... use a pencil and you know the rest.... you have to instill in them values and goals... and they will do the rest... just don't push them away...

Answer 5

well...I am a parent, and if you push your children to do things, other than what is right, they will go the opposite. I teach my daughter to be good to others ,but don't trust too much. I teach her right and wrong, and live by it. Everything else, such as what she does with her life (sports, career, etc...) I let her pick. It is pointless to try to push her in those areas. I may suggest. Good luck!

Answer 6

I disagree. A pushy parent can cripple a child, especially if your self-worth is wrapped up in your child's success. If you're living vicariously through them, then you're putting them under an ENORMOUS amount of pressure to make you happy! Isn't it more important that whatever they do, they're happy doing it? Even if it's something you don't approve of?

Answer 7

You shouldn't push your children so much or they could resent you and hate life. If someone was pushing you to do things they decided were good for you, they'd be after someone elses dreams wouldn't they?

Answer 8

It sounds like you grew up with too much free time and not enough direction and no accountability. It is good that you know this and want to be more involved in how your child(ren) spend their hours. However, pushing your kids too much and too far can have equally negative results. Especially considering the perspective you are coming form, you need to be really careful not to push your kids too much. Kids need to be exposed to what's good for them out there but, they also need some free time to play and just hang out and be kids and make choices on their own and have time to dream. I always felt like after school activities were about choices. I wanted my kids to do well in school and to take it seriously. Homework came first and there wasn't much choice about it. I let my kids choose what activities they wanted to be involved in and also made it clear to them that it was just for fun. If it turned out to be a hassle for them or they weren't enjoying it -- forget it. The idea of "activities" is to have them see what's out there for them to enjoy and love -- with no pressure to keep at it or to have to do it if they don't want to. Don't throw money at them. Don't have them try 16 activities just to see what they like. Don't overschedule them and have them be busy all the time. Give them time to play with their friends. Read to them a lot, out loud. Talk to them about what they want and what they like and how they are feeling. Be honest with them and answer their questions. Don't be afraid to say you don't know and don't be afraid to let them see the real person you are. Tell them the truth and have high expectations in their ability to handle the truth. Don't hide from them.

Answer 9

The three that come to my mind are love, discipline, and attention. Make sure they know you love them, dont just give them attention when they are bad (positive reinforcement). Attack bad behavior, not the child. Take away privlages/toys (worked on me :) ). Lastly engage them socially.

Answer 10

what it takes is love and guidence. be a good role model. do not just tell them to do stuff. teach them how. be a great teacher for your kids. feed them healthy food. teach them that exercise and school is important. teach them how bad drugs are for you. don't push them to do something. encourage them to do something they are interrested in.
love your kids.