We grew up 3 hours away from each other, but have always been best friends. We're now 22 and 23, but she has been very distant for months (since I became engaged and told her she is maid of honor). She doesn't return my calls, takes awhile to respond to texts and cuts me short on AOL.
We have always had a vowel to tell each other EVERYTHING.. but earlier something happened to my other cousin and no one will tell me about it.
She wants me and all my friends to go see her next w/e, but I know I'll be bitter. Should I still go?
*Earlier I called her and got her voicemail of course, so I said "you have never answered 1 of my calls in the past month". She jokingly texted and said "I'll call later *****".
2007-11-09 17:38:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
no
2007-11-09 17:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jennifer,
Whoa! Does she normally use that language?
I was going to tell you that family is important and that it's an opportunity to grow, learn and practice communication skills which we all need for life, but maybe you need to just cut her loose. We (people) do change. We do make a lot of mistakes we need to fix later when we realized they are fixable. What about a letter? Recently I made notes before I went for coffee with my "best" friend and we talked it all out and discovered there were misunderstanding that had hurt each of us. I also realized now that we've met and talked, maybe we aren't on the same level anymore, which is ok. She doesn't have to understand me. I need to be understood and to share intimate things with someone, (I'm single, but I mean personal, real dirt level reality, not this culture's definition of intimate) and she isn't able to communicate on that level with me anymore. It doesn't mean I'm not valuable, or that we don't love each other, just that we don't still offer the same level of concern we used to. We grew apart. Relationships are at best are difficult, but important. It's a lot of effort, but you've already learned that. Learn from the failures in that cousin relationship and apply the principles to avoid the same pitfalls in your marriage. Since you're getting married, here is a wedding gift: read Allan Loy McGinnus' book Friendship Factor. I'm hoping it blesses you as much as it has changed my life. Best to ya in a difficult situation!
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2007-11-09 18:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like you getting married and your taking a different route in your life. She might feel like you not apart of the single life style anymore? And plus she might not want to cause you extra stress with the wedding and planning and stuff.
On the other hand your other cousin may have asked her to not talk about it? In time all family things come out they always do.
I would not talk to her about the problem act as if you don't care and she might just spill the beans?
Good Luck,- the ball is in her court, give her some room and she will come around.
2007-11-09 17:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by orangie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should go see hear, family fueds can tear familys apart the longer they last, my mother, her brother and sister havent truly spoken in almost 40 years, the only time i think they speak is to tell each other when a relitive dies but thats it, so i have 10 cousisns i never see or hear from cause of the family fued that started way before i was even born
Bury the hachet do your best to be her friend and move on with your lives
2007-11-09 17:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by the_real_eaglesfan03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you straight out asked if you did something to make her angry? It's very childish to not return calls, etc.-maybe you need to play the grownup and ask directly what is wrong. If she then avoids answering there is nothing you can do except give this relationship time out until your cousin grows up. "I'll call later, *****" is not phrasing I would stand for from a so-called best friend.
2007-11-09 17:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by barbara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH!
You should visit her, maybe something major happened and she just isn't ready to tell anyone. Not to mention Did you ask her to be your Maid of Honor or TELL HER??
If you just Told her, maybe she is feeling railroaded and doesn't want to be your MOH.
Best thing is to sit down and say, " hey, I miss talking to you, did I say or do something to upset you?"
Be the bigger person. It is always best.
Good Luck.
2007-11-09 17:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by beanhead1972((14HIM)) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should get a lesson 4 throwing a tantrum when shes like 20 sumthin besides ur "so called" cusin would called u a *****....................... Oh and ur only 22 or 23 and ur already engaged?
2007-11-09 19:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her for the weekend and talk things through face-to-face!
She's probably just jeallous or theres something bothering her. Go there and see what it is.
Good luck!
2007-11-09 19:13:25 · answer #8 · answered by Ethan-Mikyle's Mommy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
particular... come on... you adult adult males have been superb buddies. She would desire to be slightly jelouse cuz your engaged and all. OR she would desire to have some **** in her existence which you don't be responsive to approximately. yet do no longer enable this be something you will look back on and say... "why on earth did we get so far aside over somethin so stupid." believe me. you do no longer wanna do this
2016-10-15 23:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by hammet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....u shld go...after all..u are all family...best of cousins. help each other out.... There shld be no overnight grudges between family...so go...maybe she might be happy....when she sees u.
2007-11-09 17:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u aint gonna mke it bettr by ignoring her ... maybe shes just jealous
2007-11-09 19:08:04 · answer #11 · answered by CBroxmysox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋