Well I have very strict and overprotective parents. my mom found out about me having a bf and is very angry about it. she's Asian and thinks its not right to have one at such a young age. because I'm 16 and is considered a minor. but how can i reason with my mom and tell her that having a boyfriend is okay and what are some good things about having a boyfriend. shes really traditional about how i should be ashamed of myself holding hands and hugging with a guy on school property. she said that i have all the time i need to get to know guys and i don't need to have a relationship just yet. but i enjoy my times so much with my bf and we both have our limits. its not like I'm going to go home pregnant or anything. sometimes i just hope my parents would understand and let me have one. what can i say to convince my mom to let me have a boyfriend. i feel like my mom looks down on me now. I'm tired of arguing with my mom and her getting mad at me all the time about this. so what should i do?
2007-11-09 16:43:45 · 6 answers · asked by itsveeee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Gotta love people who give their opinion instead of helping the question asker... that being said....
You asked how you can "tell you mom having a bf is okay." Unfortunately you can't actually "tell" your mom anything. Moms have a very hard time letting go of their little girls,. The more "traditional" the mom, the harder the time they have. It is also hard for her to see you as a young adult who is close to becoming (if not already) sexually active. You are right, she definitely doesn't want you coming home preggers. My parents were also very over-protective in the boy department.
I would suggest trying to sit down with your mom and asking her why she doesn't want you to date. Then repeat to her what you heard her say. I know it sounds silly, but you'd be surprised how much better it will make her feel to know that you actually heard her. After you repeat her words, ask her if you can tell her why you would like to be allowed to date THIS boy. Offer to invite him over for a family dinner (I know UGH). As your folks get to know him, they may warm up to him and the idea of you having relationships with boys.
this may sound stupid, but as grown up and responsible as you sound, and as you think you are, your folks still see you as their baby girl. It's ridiculous, and annoying, but true. If you can, try to keep that in the back of your mind. It's funny, but if you can be patient with your folks it will help your relationship with them. It does not mean you will get what you want. But if you can show them you understand where they are coming from, they will probably be more willing to listen to your opinions and ideas.
Good luck!
KITTY
2007-11-09 17:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to live with your mom, so you sort of have to follow her rules. In a way she is right, you do have lots of time after school for a boyfriend. Hang out with your friends and have a good time. There's a lot to do at 16 than just having a boyfriend. Besides the more yourself not available, the more the guys will be interested, and will hold their interest for a long time. Get along with your mom, you don't have that much longer at home.
2007-11-09 17:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by miz piz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your parent's rule is to not date at your age, then you need to respect that rule.
I can understand, with your peers probably being allowed to date, that you feel rather antiquated by not being allowed to date.
However, that is an argument that will not be won with your mother.
The best thing to do is see if you can negotiate a compromise that will work well for both of you...such as no public physical contact on your part and having the boy come over to study and the like with your parents there while they get used to the fact that you're becoming an adult woman?
2007-11-09 16:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can YOU be open minded for a moment hon?
What is the purpose of dating?It SHOULD be for finding a mate.Neither you or your b/f work full time, own your own homes, have your own cars and pay your own way.
You are merely PREPARING yourselves so you CAN do that.
After seeing all the drama on here , I am forced to agree with your mom.Children shouldn't be dating, at least never unchaperoned, and if you will make out in public, then chances are you'll end up pregnant if the 2 of you are left alone somewhere where you can get pregnant.
Finish school first.
2007-11-09 16:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you wait to make the beast with two backs, you shouldn't have that much of a problem. Good luck, and tell the family to their face.
2007-11-09 16:57:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom loves you - you should be glad.. there are tons of parents out there who are too busy worrying about themself to care about their daughters...
years ago I had a co-worker who had no time for her 14 year old daughter... I can tell you that by the time her daughter was 15 she was pregnant with her second kid...
it was sad...
be glad your mom loves you - tell her "thanks for caring mom, I will be very careful.. my life and future are important to me"
2007-11-09 17:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋