My fiance told me that his ex-girlfriend started messaging him on MySpace. I was a little curious so... I did some snooping. One of the messages he wrote to her leads me to believe that he may have been sleeping with her still, after he and I started an exclusive relationship four years ago. I don't have any doubts that this is continuing... but I want to know what happened before... and I want the truth... considering we're getting married in May, I think I deserve the truth. Should I confront him? Should I be ashamed of my snooping, considering what I uncovered?!
2007-11-09 15:11:42 · 12 answers · asked by Lady Tam 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well if he had been open and honest with you about it after the two of them stopped messing around you would have been mad. Chances are he was afraid of losing you if you found out about it and when he realized what he had done he wanted to forget it ever happened. I say do with it what you like. If you love him you should not act mad and upset to much. Just tell him what you found out and that you still love him, but do not like what he did. I would make sure he is no longer messing around with this girl first. If he is still messing around with her I think you should call off the wedding and either work things out or get out while you can. I myself would leave him if he is still seeing her. If he is not and has not been seeing her for a long time, then just talk to him about it and let him know how you feel, but that you still love him and want to be with him. Yet also make clear that you will not put up with that or allow yourself to be in a relationship with someone like that, that way he knows you love him, but if he ever does this again you all are over for good. The fact that you all have been together for 4 years says a lot, that's longer than some marriages these days. So, tell him what you know and how you feel. I would always want any woman I love to tell me how she feels. I would not care if she looked at my myspace account or any account I have, of course I do not cheat or try to hid things from the person I love. You may want to think a little on your relationship and see how strong it is and how good it is. Then go from there. Good luck, I am so sorry this happened to you, but I am also thankful you found out before you married him and not after. ♥ ☺
2007-11-09 15:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait a bit but if you go online as well, tell him an ex boy friend sent you a message and then casually ask if the ex girl friend of his is still doing that to see what he says especially if you have no doubts that this is continuing.. If he lies to you, don't worry about what went on in the past but break the engagement and dump him. You shouldn't worry about the fact that you were snooping but I wouldn't confront him just yet to see what happens between now and the end of the year, now that you know where to look. You can also go to handwriting wizard and find out a lot about him from his handwriting: How emotional he is, whether he is very secretive, how far to trust him and so on. I will give you a link for that and tell you that I have only studied a bit of that but have found it to be very accurate.
No matter what happens though, you need to insist upon pre-marital counseling before yu actually take that walk down the aisle if you do decide to go ahead with the marriage. Good Luck to you whatever you decide.
2007-11-09 15:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I've snooped on my boyfriend's MySpace and I didn't tell him how I found out certain things and I would just ask him about them and if he didn't tell the truth I'd tell him that I know he's lying. I just wouldn't tell him how I knew. BUT I think you should confront him and you shouldn't be ashamed! You 2 are getting married! There is no such thing as snooping when you're engaged.
2007-11-09 15:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by тαιητε∂ αηɢεℓ 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You were curious and looked around. If he had been honest in the first place you wouldn't have had to do that. Ask him about her and see if he comes clean. Tell him that you want to have everything open between you two before getting married. Even if he gets mad and doesn't want to get married isn't that better than marrying a lying cheater? He should tell you the truth. Honesty is a foundation in marriage and so is communication and trust. If you don't have that then you have no business getting married.
2007-11-09 15:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by Rockit 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Anyone stupid enough to post crap like that on their myspace page, wants to get caught. Clearly, since he's cheating, and you're snooping, you don't have a marriage in the making.
2007-11-10 03:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out the truth before you walk down the aisle. Make sure you trust him 100% after you talk to him. if not, don't go through with the wedding. Its better to lose a little money then to be stuck with a lying, cheating husband.
2007-11-09 15:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by Cute Mom of 2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
CONFRONT HIM NOW!!! Before u get your hopes up, before u fall in love with the idea of getting married to him. Dont be ashamed of it at all. men do it too. i was in a relationship with a man who checked my miles on my car because he thought i was cheating. he was right, i was upto no good and because of it I have lost what could of been the greatest thing that could ever happen to me because i was selfish. Your in for a world of hurt if u just brush this off.
Best of luck to you
2007-11-09 17:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by MakeAmyUp! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definitely talk about this and also you should reconsider the wedding. my ex husband cheated on me early in our relationship, before we were married, and we talked it through and resolved it. then after 4 years of marriage he left me for another woman he had been cheating with. after the divorce i found out from some friends that he had been cheating with various people all along. once a cheater always a cheater.
2007-11-11 05:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by halloweenie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would be have the time of married . you would be extra desirable get ,marred time you will no longer be able to be with somebody who lies and cheats. they won't in any respect replace. I discovered that the demanding way. you like have faith in a relationship. Its extra important then something. Its like the muse of a relationship.
2016-10-02 00:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no trust i see already and weing the pros and cons of getting married to some1 u gotta decieve and check up on well sounds lije u need to think twice because the next step after marriage witout trust is divorce
2007-11-09 15:24:29 · answer #10 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋