Guy doesn't IM me?

Question

theres this guy I met at summer program and I asked him for his screename, I IMed him every few days for a month, but I realized that no matter how long I talked to him or how interested he sounded in the conversation, it didn't really matter because he never IMed me first. Because of this, I didn't Im him for about a month and a half because I thought maybe he didn't want to talk to me, but then I saw him a few times at track event and decided to IM him again about 2 weeks ago, and we had a really good conversation and he didn't sound bored at all and was really in to it. what I don't understand is why he still doesn't IM me, I don't think I've been annoying him, I don't IM him that often and its not like he had one word answers and that was it at all. I'm really confused and don't know what to think
(btw he is single)

Answer 1

How do you feel before, during and after you talk to him? This is the best guide you will ever have. Before you IM him does it seem like a good idea or do you feel awkward? After you talk to him do you get that warm electric feeling? Or do you feel awkward and disappointed? Let your feelings be your guide and you wont go wrong. He may be attracted to you but not willing/able to do anything about it. In this case you will feel both. You will feel some electricity but always frustrated that it never goes any farther than text messaging. If you want to keep going, keep going until something inside you says, "Naaa, don't feel like it anymore."
I find that if you pay attention to specifics, like eye contact or touching or who pays for the date etc., to decide if this is going anywhere you just end up confusing yourself because your feelings are usually telling you something different than what your concious mind has just concluded. And you will find your feelings are usually more right on the money than your concious mind.

Answer 2

It'd help to step back and try to imagine how he sees things, and form a realistic picture of the situation based on what has transpired between you two so far. Odds are that he doesn't mind being your friend, but isn't very motivated to pursue you. Maybe he's in another relationship or just not ready to be more than friends. Maybe he's being polite but doesn't feel

If you have to have an answer now, you could force the issue and ask him directly where you two stand. But I would think that a better approach would be to just IM him once every few weeks to say hello and catch up. That way you are on his mind in case his interest ever perks up, but you don't come across as a stalker.

Answer 3

I'd say to leave it be. You're doing all the chasing and he's not even bothering to take the initiative and approach you, IM you, go up to you. Maybe he's just being polite when he talks to you, or maybe he just sees you like a friend and not as a romantic prospect. Either way, save your energy on someone who does want to be with you, IM you, and you won't be the only one making all the movees.

Answer 4

lol, umm i dont IM people first either. i didnt think it was that big a deal but i guess it is. i actually have best friends that i never talk to on IM, maybe once a month but thats it. so it shouldnt really matter so much. dont worry about it

Answer 5

well, this guy is probably by what you're telling me very full of himself, ive been around both sexes equally my whole my life and have come to comprehend that men talk to any women when their penis is erect(not to sound perverted) but if he talks to you on and off like that he most definitely is not interested enough in you to go after you like he should if i were you i would forget bout him but hey its up to u

he just wants sum(fill in the blank) beleive me i am a man.

Answer 6

Well alot of the time guys just dont think about that kind of thing. he probly doesnt even realize it. but hes probly not into you in that kind of way because if he was then he would IM you first.... but if you guys are just friends then he probly doesnt even realize what hes doing

Answer 7

rule of thumb -- never base a relationship off of IMing.
talk to him online and if he seems interested then he is. some people simply do not like to msg girls or anyone.
take it for face value... if he doesntseem interested then maybe he's not. i think maybe you should call him to talk. then you might get a better idea.

Answer 8

Maybe hes just bad at starting conversations.

Answer 9

Most people don't realize that they neglect to do those kinds of things, my best friend has almost always called me first but I still love her to death.

Answer 10

some guy are to nervous to make the first move. its good to make the first move like that weather iming or talking to somebody just because he doesnt im you doesnt mean he isnt interested.