the boy's mom's live-in boyfriend shook him so violently, he got 'shaken baby syndrome'. the mom waited nearly TWO DAYS to bring him to the ER, and by then he was in a coma. he died last night from his injuries. my friend john is suffering so badly, and although i've lost a fiancee, i have NO CLUE what it feels like to lose a child. i just sit and listen, hug him, and try to be there for him whevever he needs me. is there anything more i could be doing to ease his pain?
2007-11-09 13:40:05 · 20 answers · asked by snowflake 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Keep doing exactly what you are doing. Just be there for him. What a tough time...that is so sad, it breaks my heart.
~Hugs~
2007-11-09 13:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, the best way i know of comforting someone in such pain is exactly what you're doing right now. Just being there for him, make him feel that he is not alone. Don't try to say anything yet, not just now. Give him time to grieve. And when the right time comes when he will be ready to listen, you'll know, and you can just tell him that life doesn't end there really. That there are still people around him who cares and who are praying to see him happy and back to life, just like you.
2007-11-10 04:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, let me tell you how sorry I am to hear this. My condolences to your friend. Just be there for him and remember all the special memories and don't ever be afraid to mention the baby's name. I read all the time how people who've lost a love one say that people are afraid to mention the person's name as not to upset them, but the person who lost someone doesn't want people to forget the loved one existed and love talking about their loved one. There is a web site called "virtual memorials" where you can go and set up a memorial site for the baby with pictures and whatever else, and through that he'll find plenty of people who have went through the same thing or something similar, and find new friends who will talk to him about it and they even have a type of "support" system going. I pray that he gets through this with your help and friendship. He'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
2007-11-09 22:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by mystery_lvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no comfort to be found. I'm sorry to say this but it's true. Only time can heal this wound. But the things you're doing now... Keep doing them. Especially in this time of need. Support him and let him know that there are always people around to listen, and help. Most importantly, help him keep his head. Don't let this lead to a bitter end for him, (this is more important than anything. He'll thank you in the long run.)
2007-11-09 21:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Dave B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
exactly what you are doing. If you force him to talk about it then it can make matters worse.
My sister in law lost her daughter to a very rare condition, as for her husband one thing I learned was that guys think with their heads and women think with their hearts. The same goes for grieving.
Don't form an opinion unless he asks, and just listen. He needs to know he can trust someone and be cared for back. Bless you and him and so sorry for the loss. The baby is in a far , far better place.
2007-11-09 21:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by JellyCat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The loss of anyone is terrible, but the loss of a child is the worst. I believe you're doing the right thing. Just be there for him. Only time will help ease some of the pain.
I'm so sorry.
2007-11-09 21:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
me is the only thing going to help and even time will not do that much loosing a child. Let him cry, let him rant, let him punch a wall. let him do something in honor of his son. I had a niece who was killed and I went to the beach and wrote her name on a piece of paper and threw it in. Maybe he can buy a truck and donate it to a school for children who are abused or special needs. He will really need some help making it threw this season.
2007-11-09 22:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there and listen to him, the best you can. Tell him he can call you at 3am if he needs to talk.
BRING HIM FOOD. He's probably not thinking about it right now. Cook him something really nice and healthy and bring it to him so that he can not have to worry about that. Dealing with the little things is useless when you are preoccupied with something so huge. Just try and do as many little things for him as you can, whenever you're around him or at his place.
2007-11-09 21:46:17 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa N 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You are doing everything you can do. He has to go through the grieving process. It could be a hard and long battle especially for a child. However these are steps that he will have to face on his own. Just be understanding and patient.
.I wish you the best.
2007-11-09 21:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by theonlyone 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's going to be a very long road. if you really care then you will just be there to listen and hold him 24/7
I'd also strongly recommend grief counseling. Around here several hospices offer these services for free.
2007-11-09 23:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by coolmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest with you that is the best that you can do. never try to tell him that you know how he feel if you have never lost a child because it will never help and porbably make him mad. Just comfort him by staying by his side and being there to listen. that is the best thing to do i think
2007-11-09 21:45:28 · answer #11 · answered by tissa0477 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋