What would be the best way to discipline my 2 year old????

Question

My son will be 3 next month. He has hit his daycare teacher the past 3 days. I don't think it is suitable to spank for this behavior because I would be "hitting him for hitting someone else". I sent him to bed early with no TV or toys. What should I do if this doesn't work???

Answer 1

Time-outs work wonders.

We actually have good luck with time-outs for our childs favorite toys and or him as well.

Answer 2

The trick is that the punishment has to be something that he can "feel". And I'm not talking physically hitting him, but making him understand that hitting another person "hurts" emotionally (more than physically). The other trick is getting the punishment to happen rather quickly after the incident. 2 hours later and the child has forgotten hitting the teacher and doesn't associate the punishment to the crime.

Remember, you are "smarter" than your son and can be more creative. With my own toddler (who is now 4), I learned quickly that spanking wasn't an option (he has a high threshold of pain). Timeouts will work if he knows what's expected of him and keep them relatively short. He's 2, so a 2 minute time out gets the point across without feeling like forever.

If timeouts aren't working, you'll want to try taking away something he really wants.

You may also want to investigate it a little further. Hitting can be a sign that he's upset about something. Maybe there's a new kid picking on him at day-care or he doesn't like his teacher. You might even try a little role playing. Make up a "story" about one stuffed animal hitting another stuffed animal and ask your son to help decide what to do. You'll be surprised at the answers.

My son loves to put his stuffed animals in time out. In fact, I've been giving his toys time outs for a while now. It seems to work, especially in public. When my son steps out of line, I put his "toy" in time out until it can behave better. He gets the idea without producing tears.

Answer 3

He may even be just a little too little to understand having to go to bed early.

I think I'd make him apologize to his teacher, and tell him very sternly...like you REALLY mean it...that you will not accept that kind of behaviour, and that if he hits her again...you will come to the school and make him sit in time out in front of everyone! Yes I know the daycare people probably do that, but YOU being there making him do it, would be something different. and different things seem bigger and more serious to a kid his age, not to mention that his MOM being there and doing that, shows that you and his teacher have a united front. You're on her side in this.

Answer 4

I agree with spartan. Punshiment shoud be immediate I have a 5,4, and 2 yr. old... My 4 yr. old starting the whole hitting thing and I took him to the side and gave him a quick pinch on the arm... I asked him if he liked it and if he would like for me to do it again... At first he looked at me as if I had lost my mind .. once he answered no I told him that the feeling he felt is what other ppl felt when he would hit them.. I asked him if it felt it good.. he said no.. so i simply asked why he would want someone to feel like that then?... he did hit a few more times after that but each time I would pinch him... He doesn't do it anymore..

Answer 5

Toddlers live in the moment, asking him to suffer a punishment for an incident that happened beyond his memory is not fair.

he should be punished by the daycare provider in the manner you best see fit. Probably time out since you dont agree with spanking.

WHen he's not in daycare you need to be pumping him full of real life situations and reason why you dont hit other people.

Show him other grown up kids, grown up men, in real life situations and explain to him that we dont hit, its ugly, he has words that he can use when he's angry. Tell him you expect him to use words and not to hit. Tell him you're proud of him that he can use words like a big kid and not hit people.

Train him how he should act, and expect him from it, and punish him at the time of the offense while its fresh in his mind and emotions. The end of the day is just too far away.

Answer 6

Well then spank him


The first time I spanked one of my 6 year old twin boys , I lwent out on the back yard and cried like a baby I was so upset

and I'm just talking a mild spanking

But eventually I had to get used to the idea that in some cases that is the only language they understand

Use it of course as a last resort only

Answer 7

Hitting and spanking are not the same thing. Hitting others is to intentionally hurt them and not care. Spanking on the behind is discipline and it is to teach them consequences of their behavior. If you dont correct him the world will when he lands in jail when older.

Answer 8

Hopefully this is just a phase. Unfortunately, if he does something earlier in the day, then gets punished for it later, he won't be able to make the connection between the two. In his mind, he doesn't know why he's being punished, because of the time difference. Does that make sense? Immediate response is the only way to go with toddlers. Time outs are usually effective, but only at the time, not after the fact.

Answer 9

Whatever is done, needs to be done immediately. He needs to go straight to time out for two minutes just as soon as he hits someone. He should be told "we don't hit people". Even if you have to do it all day long until he gets it, you have to keep at it. If people ignore it he will continue doing it. If people overreact, he will also keep doing it. After the time out, ask him why he was in time out to reinforce the message. Ask him what we do when we are angry...we use our words. We tell the other child or the teacher "I don't like that!" This is a phase that a lot of kids go through. You just have to be consistent with your message and he will get it in time.

Answer 10

Look at the person, not the behavior. Is your son and innately mean person? Does he want to hurt others? If yes, seek professional help. If no, then try to figure out why he is acting this way and focus on that. Google "positive approaches." It is the basis for what most people working with the disabled use as guidelines.

Answer 11

I have a 2 yr old who does the same thing. One thing I always have to remember is that they are acting this way because they can't verbally tell us what is the matter. I do spank my child, not all the time and not hard but only when she hits me. When they do something when you aren't there they really don't understand anyway.

I have taken toys away or no TV. My daughter goes to bed between 7-8pm on her own so making her go to bed early doesn't matter. But she loves her Developmental tv on DIRECTV so if she is too bad we don't let her play, or rather we don't play with her, she has to play by herself, when she acts up.

She loves to sit and play ball with us on the floor. If she is bad, we explain that because she was bad we aren't playing with her tonight.

Also, if he is doing it to you also, depending on if he is in a bed (mine is), we put a gate up so she can't get out and tell her she has to stay in her room and can't come out. She may play but she always wants to come out and she doesn't like that either.

There really is no right or wrong answer..it depends on your beliefs. Some people don't like to spank and that's their opinion. But don't think bad of others that do. I was spanked by my parents and there is nothing wrong with me. They didn't abuse me.

Good luck.