Is there something wrong with me?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. After a year of being together we started having horrible arguments. After awhile things got better, then he confessed that during this time he cheated on me with someone I thought was just a friend of his. What angered me so much is that this person at one point needed a place to say and I suggested she stay with us. I didnt understand why he made such a big deal about her not staying with us until he confessed. I was angry but we had made progress and he confessed to me and things were finally okay between us so I chose to forgive him. Months later the problems arise again and we're battling to stay together he becomes close with another person and insists they are just friends but I can tell its more. Finally, in a drunken state he confesses his love for this other person and my heart is literally broken. The next day he apologizes again and again and for months things are fine...I keep forgiving him and I don't know why

Answer 1

Yeah, but theres something wrong with any one of us. It sucks when you love someone so much that you'd do anything for them, even let them stab you in the back repeatedly. I know what that's like, and I hope I never make that mistake again. Being single is tough after a long term relationship; everything that reminds you of them will be forever tained. But you know what I've learned? It's worth it.

What you need to question is why he feels the need to reach out to other women. Is he satisfied with you or is he using you? All that really matters is that at the end of the day he is there for you. If you can forgive him for his infidelity, and he loves you enough to always come back to you, then you can stay together, but that doesn't mean you should. You need to look deep into yourself and think about what YOU want. It is hard to realize that you don't want what you love. No matter how absurd it sounds, it can be true. Look out for your own interests.

Answer 2

It's because you don't want to be alone. So you stay because you don't know what else might be out there for you. You've heard horror stories from single friends about not being able to find a man. You've heard horror stories of women with men who beat them or are always mean and nasty to them. So, you stay.

Now, should you stay? No, he told you he loves someone else. That's the final deal breaker. What kind of person says that to the person they love. You can do better, he's cheated on you at least once. I say at least because that's just the one he broke down and told you about.

Answer 3

Sweetie, once a cheater always a cheater. Do NOT be his doormat any longer. You deserve better and his cheating ways are not worth it. Break up with him before something terrible happens...he obviously sleeps with other women and I worry about him passing something onto you because he's not being monogomous.

I know you've dedicated five years to him but the relationship is obviously not going to go anywhere since the problems keep arising. He's NOT being true to you. Why should you continue to take that kind of abuse? You shouldn't. Get out now and find yourself a man who loves and respects you. You'll be so happy once you do.

Answer 4

Since he has cheated on you twice, I would safely say you can let him go. I wouldn't pin too much hope on a such a person. If you continue with him and end up unhappy a few years down the road, it's only youself to be blamed because YOU chose to stay with a jerk.

Answer 5

Honestly (and not to sound unkind) I think you have a self esteem problem and (even if subconsciencously) think you can't do better. YES YOU CAN. This man cheated on you multiple times, and it's going to continue. Like my friend Peggy told me...once a cheater, always a cheater. The first time is the hardest. What's it going to take for you to get rid of this guy once and for all...a case of AIDS because he was too stupid to use a condom? Leave him before it becomes too late. You can do MUCH better than this jerk.

Answer 6

Commitment to a relationship means having to sacrifice being involved with other people. It's a serious thing he's not up to, and you have to accept that. That doesn't mean you have to dump him, but don't suck up to his cowardly, lying crap--he just needs to admit to himself as well that he'd rather f*ck around on you. After accepting this, ask yourself if you want his full commitment or if you're willing to accept his philandering (which, by the way, is your right to do too if he's going to cheat).

But if you know you want serious and secure relationships, move on and don't be afraid of being alone until you meet a real contender for your offerings.

Answer 7

If you have been together for 5 yrs. and still no decisions about further commitment (marriage), this guy is going nowhere with you. You need to jump ship and find someone who really wants to be with you and work toward a marriage. He's in love with someone else that probably will suffer the same lack of commitment should she tie up with him.

Answer 8

don't u understand where this going , he is cheating on u , and everytime he say sorry and forgive him , and everytime he do it again. he is controling you with his so call Innocent , u have to be smart , which i know u are, and get him out of your life, this will it stressful if don't. i sure u can find someone else. and when u forgive someone , especially in your case , that doesn't mean, u can forgive and take him back, it mean forgive and forget him and start a normal life.

Answer 9

Find a place of your own and dump him.
You can do it. and let the future guys you
date, they cheat once- they are gone.
(and mean it!)
you will respect your self more and the guys
will treat you with respect.

You can do it! so do it!

Answer 10

there's nothing wrong with you. you just don't understand that you deserve better. with a kind heart like that, you really should be with a better man. believe me, they're out there. get over him.