Please help, what shoudl I do?

Question

Asalaamualaikum,

you may have seen the question about wearing a hijab which I posted a couple of days ago. Since then I decided I wanna go for it and wear one. But now I have a problem. My mum's belief is that a lady should always be dressed up, wear make up, wear jewelry etc and wear "short, pretty" clothes to keep her husband happy. I was gonna discuss with her, the fact that I wanna wear the hijab but after hearing this, I already know her answer...she wont allow me to wear it. But I WANT TO WEAR IT FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH SWT. How can I convince her to let me wear it? I am more concerned with pleasing my Lord than any man.

sorry about the typo

Answer 1

Allah(SWT) tells muslims that they should listen to their parents and obey any order they give, UNLESS the order they give is unislamic....u can ignore your parents and wear the hijab... your religion is more important
salam

Answer 2

Salam

I have many wrightings and dealings with this issue with those sisters in North America. They say when they take it off they don't feel the protection of the Lord in blessings. You can always read further with sisters that have already tackled this problem in Muslim women orgainzations through the Mosque and ISNA and I am sure that any muslim is going to tell you that your Lord before your blood, but we know also the Lord grants intention and the religion was made as a comfort for ease, not in hardship. It was not created to make things harder for you, so study Ayisha and Khadija R.a. and the other sisters of Islam they are of the best examples for you inshAllah khair. I will make Dua that you are granted this easyness that is to come from Allah. He never overburdens us its only us that do that. Remember the footsteps to heaven are at the mothers feet, no matter what we much be kind chapter 31 is your best example for that. Lukeman. Study that please

Answer 3

Salaam'Alaikum wa Rahmatullah,

A husband will be happy with a modest wife who protects herself from others for him. And from what I was taught, you can wear what you like in your home. Your husband can be attracted to you, but you don't want other men gawking either. But Allah swt understands all.
I had this problem once and a scholar told me to wear it when I can but if it will cause major discord in the family, wait until I am older and more independent. You can talk to her, but if it will cause alot of fighting and pain for your parents, then wait but keep the intent.
And as far as the makeup, I know it is actually Sunnah to wear Arabic Kohl eyeliner on your lower eyeline.
Family is very important. Intent in the heart to wear the hijaab counts as much as actually wearing it. In some cases even more so because to ultimately wear it will be more of a hardship for you than for many other sisters. This is your struggle for Allah swt and you can take your time as long as you ultimately are working to that point. Good Luck

Khouda Hafez!

Answer 4

I'm always the last one to answers qs.

Listen sis I would seriously pray for you mother if I were you.
She needs some serious nasiha,and sincere advice from you. Mothers should protect us teach us, and support us no matter what. If your mom wants you to beautify yourself to your husband or future husband tell her that you will do that.
when the time comes.

As far as the hijab goes, start wearing it. And I pray that she wont even notice it InshaAllaah. You need to take everything that comes on your way with patience, nothing in life comes easy. Reading the stories of the sahaba and how they over came their hardships which makes our hardships a breeze can help you.
I remember once reading the story of how a brother came to islam at young age I think he was 18 he said the worse thing was hiding his prayers from his father and mother. He said in the middle of my salah they would knock my door and I would throw my prayer rug under my bed and open the door. Then he would pray when they were gone. Imagine that!

Answer 5

As salaamu alaikum, dear sister.

Keep a strong will and go for it. It is true that all children must obey their parents, but if it does not go with our religion, then do what your heart says. I am 100 percent behind you, and personally, I think Muslim girls look a lot prettier with a hijab. Wearing makeup, jewelry, and nice clothes won't identify you as a Muslim---wear the hijab, that is the mark of a woman's modesty.

Answer 6

You can find a way of presenting yourself with dignity with a hijab on. Wearing things to attract men other than your husband in the privacy of ones home is sinful. try www.shukr.com this is a website that has many clothes for men and women that are stylish but expensive!

Remember there is no obedience in follow creating when disobeying the creator.

Answer 7

You dont have to wear makeup to look dressed up and pretty. You dont have to wear trashy makeup to look pretty either. I would bet the ranch that just like all other muhajabas you are probably pretty without makeup. The muhajabas who I know are always dressed up and nice looking. They make the hijab look much nicer than the ladies who dont wear hijab. I am guessing that since you are getting married soon that you are an adult. YOu are old enough to make your own decisions. I would do it anyway regardless if she liked it or not. Its your life not hers.

Muhajaba women are beautiful!

Answer 8

Wear whatever you want for your husband :) This is loveable in Islam! Just wear Hijab in front of any other foreigner man. To convince your mom, I suggest that you pray hard and you call a Sheikh or an Imam (preferrably female - she will be more understanding) to talk to her.

Answer 9

salaam sister may allah make it easy for you as i understand the diffucultiy you must be going through

i was bought up with the same undersatnding that dress pretty etc

but remember that we are going to have to answer for our own deeds our selves on the day we cant say to allah that mu mum said and told me not to wear it as i have to look and dress pretty.your mum will also be questioned as why did you discourage your daughter and not help her make ther task easy

who shall we please first our parents or our allah


i know its a lot easier said than done but inshallah allah will give you the strength

Answer 10

Oh my I really feel bad for you, your mom should support your decision. It's a positive thing you want to do, and it's not right that she doesn't support you. Since you tried talking to her and she still won’t let you/support your decision to be religious then I say talk to someone at your mosque and let them talk to her. Maybe she needs to hear from someone else...If that doesn’t work then wear it anyway, just be careful not to cause problems/fights with your mom. Is your mom Muslim? Honestly I don’t you’re at fault here, Good luck.