first time...kinda important?

Question

ok lol i feel kinda like an *** hole for asking this...
im 16 and im a virgin and i've almost done it with my boyfriend a few times but then i just like stop. and its basically because im scared out of my MIND. i dont use a tampon because it gives me terrible cramps. does your first time hurt more if you dont use a tampon? is there like something you can do to calm yourself down so that it hurts less? like idk i really feel stupid for asking this stuff but im just like soooo confused and i feel like an idiot for backing out of it more than once. the thing is that he's had sex before a few times and hes 2 years older than me and idk i just feel stupid. thanks in advance...

and he isnt pressuring me at all, hes the sweetest guy ever. i want to do it but yeah. nervousss =]

Answer 1

your not ready for sex. it will hurt. no way to get around that. they only way calm yourself, is to be ready!! which you are sooo obviously not. if he truly cares for you he will understand he has to wait until YOU are ready.

Answer 2

If you're that terrified, you're not ready. Listen to what your body is telling you. The more scared you are, the more painful it's going to be. It hurts for some women, not for others. It'll be worse if you're not ready, he's moving too fast, you're not well lubricated, you're not turned on, he's not pleasing you properly, etc. It doesn't hurt for everybody, and tampons are super small compared to a man's penis, so it doesn't help to use tampons; read about what happens to your body during sex so you can understand what's going on.

Talk to your mom or another trusted adult female about it. Talk to your doctor or gynecologist.

Don't do it because you feel stupid for backing out of it; if your boyfriend is any kind of man, he won't pressure you and won't make you do something you're not ready for.

Answer 3

Don't feel stupid, it's your first time...of course you'll be nervous! and no, usin' a tampon makes no difference. It'll hurt cause it's your first time, but after awhile the pain just goes away....just lay down and relax...and if u can't take the pain, tell him to stop! he'll understand! best of luck to you! =)

Answer 4

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Answer 5

ok look,my first time hurted like hell...i lost mine in june,im 16,and my boyfriend was 18 too...but anyways the most that i could probably tell u is that its gon hurt,n really i think that if u use tampons or not,it wouldnt make much of a difference...but girl,if he kno's wat he doin, then he'll kno to finger u a lil bit before he jus go all the way(i guess to relax u a lil)...to me really it hurted like on a scale of 1 thru 10,10 being the most pain...it was like 8-9.but i think it was worth the pain to b truthful....n girl really its not a dumb question if u think about it cuz shyt, if i knew it was gon hurt like dat then i shouldve asked the same thing like u

Answer 6

it might hurt, depending on the size of him. tell him to go slow, explain that u want to do it but u are scared and u need him to be understanding. def give urself a prep talk, keep urself calm and dont get urself all nervous cuz that will make it hurt more. jusr relax and take ur time.

Answer 7

Dont rush into it. When you feel comfortable with the situation, then go ahead. It should come naturally. Just make sure you use protection. there is a lot going on these days and you should take care of YOU first.

Answer 8

use lubricants. it will hurt wayyy less! trust me!
if you guys dont want to, ask him to give you oral sex before you guys begin the intercourse.

i was really scared too,. and it did hurt for a while, but only for a while. good luck

Answer 9

how do you think you will feel when after you do it, a few months later, he dumps you? or you dump him? wouldn't you want to wait until when you do it, you know you really really love him and he is your husband, and you can tell your husband that you waited for him? I mean really how many guys would love to know that a girl waited just for him? Think about it. I know it is not the norm to wait, but imagine how special it could be if you did.

Answer 10

I'm not gonna lie most girls tell me it hurts so peptalk yourself and when you are ready just let your man know.