Urgent! I have a concern about my relationship situtation?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. Tonight she will have a "work party." Do I believe her? I am not sure at this point. I am at home worried. The reason why is because I am not sure if that is what she is really doing tonight. If it is a work function...then why couldn't she invite me to come along? I am 26 and she is 27...just in case you were wondering. I have asked my friends if they would like to hang out...but they have different plans. What should I do? I am at home just worried and depressed. I invited her to the military ball for my work 2 months ago and she didn't invite me to her civilian work party. Someone please give me some advice.

Answer 1

I think if you really love her , you should trust her. Just take advantage of some time alone to appreciate your relationship instead of getting worked up and jealous. In a good relationship, both people do spend some time with friends without their partner and there is trust and confidence and even happiness for the person that they are having a good time.

Answer 2

I have had many "works parties" where the significant other is not invited. Partners have had the same. This is not the issue here this is about trusting the other in your relationship. Long distance relationships are difficult, I have been in one, it is especially difficult when the other is socialising and you feel "threatened".It is even more difficult when the relationship is still fairly quite new. Why do you "not believe her"? Has she given you any reason to mistrust her? Believe me, there is no relationship without trust! What is needed here is good communication, plan in advance when you can be together, work out when you can attend parties/functions together. Many events are arranged months in advance, this may be the case in this instance and she was worried about telling you. You are in love and want to be with your g/f 24/7 and because you can't your imagination is working overtime. She knew what she was taking on board by dating a man in the military, I think you should look at this too. Give your g/f a break, she is choosing to be with you, unless you have significant proof that she is lying you have no reason to doubt her. Good luck and stop worrying. x

Answer 3

Being a military wife I understand where your coming from using civilian. I'm not sure how to take this because some businesses don't allow you to bring guest to the functions. She could have said honey were having a party at the office tonight but they won't let us bring anyone maybe then you'll feel a little better. Also if you drive offer to drop and pick her up from the party this way you are sure she is there. If she declines may try to call her cell while she's there and licten to the back ground. If things don't sound right you drop her ***. I'm joking try to trust her. Still call like I said

Answer 4

Well maybe you should just ask. The last thing you want is to implant in your brain that she is up to no good. Especially if she is in fact behaving. Jealousy and suspicion is the killer of all relationships! It really all boils down to do you trust her? Cause if she has never given you a reason not to then why shouldn't you? Me and my soon to be husband have gone to work partys before without one another. Some of the functions i go to and some i don't. I feel it is very important to spend time without your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife. And if theres no trust then how can you really be with someone? I think your depression and worried thoughts is making you think the worst! My suggesting relax stop devaluing your girlfriend and ask her straight up! You have been dating for 5 months. You are not married there for she does not have to invite you everywhere she goes. Just like you do not. Slow down breath a little and relax!

Answer 5

First of all, don't worry so much. She probably does have a 'work party', some of her friends at work, birthday, engagement or whatever. I suppose lots of your friends are maybe attached so, get yourself a good DVD to watch with a nice glass of wine or 2 or 3 glasses. Don't get depressed, you seem as though you are being a little bit obsessive, that turns a girl off for a start, try not to be, its sometimes good that relationships have 'other' things to do - its healthly. You must try and curb your feelings. A military ball is a function that you have to really take a partner with you. Is she going to that? If so, have a good time and forget little things that don't really matter. Just maybe text her and say just - 'I miss you' thats all it needs. Cheer up.

Answer 6

Depends on what kind of work party it is. My boyfriend's office often heads out for drinks after work on Fridays; I'm not invited, but I don't expect to be. No one else brings their significant others, so why should he bring me? The office Christmas party, on the other hand, is a lot like your military ball; there will be spouses and significant others there, as well as clients and select invitees. I have been invited to that one.

If you have a reason not to trust her, you need to figure out why you feel that way. Did she do something to betray you before, or to someone else, or have you been betrayed before? If you trust her, you shouldn't worry about it.

Answer 7

Unless she has given you any reason not to trust her then chill out. Perhaps this work party is all girls. Or they may be going to have a meeting of some sort prior to the party. I have worked places that is employee only party. The company foots the bill but only for employees.

Answer 8

You have got to talk to her. I am not her and I cannot tell you what she's doing because I don't know, and I don't want to put ideas in your head. Does she give you a reason to believe that she is lying to you? , or are you just being self-conscious and paranoid? Ask her that's your best bet. You may be worrying for nothing. Good luck.

Answer 9

Just talk to her about it. Because trust me, girls don't like it when guys assume that when they aren't invited, they went some place else beside the place she said she would. And I know that for certain since I am a girl! Good luck. :]

Answer 10

First, not all companies allow dates to come to their parties. Trust me on that one. Second, do you have any reason to mistrust her or are you just insecure? In either case, you have other issues to address rather than the party: mutual trust.