Do you think I am overreacting for thinking my daughters school handled this wrong?

Question

Ok, here is what happened....
Last weekend I treated my daughters head for lice.I thought I had got all the eggs out. Well she is in V-PK at a very posh daycare. (All the rich people i this town take they kids there) Well Wed. I got a call about an hour after she had been there and they told me that they had found eggs in her hair and we had to come get here. No big deal! I completely understood. Well I am an complete bedrest bercause I am pregnant, so my parents are here taking care of my two kids. So my mom goes to get here, (my mom has not been there before), they asked her when she came through the door, who she was there for, so she told them rher name and they lady told my mom that her class was out on the playground to get her form there. So my mom goes out there and as soon as she opened the door, my daughter was sitting in the dirt(there where chairs by her, but she was made to sit on the dirt). My mom looked at her and asked her what was wrong and she said that she was in

"Time Out" till someone came and got her. All the out 30 something kids were out playing and the teachers where checking the kids about 6 at a time on the tables till the kids to count the pieces of wood on the ground while they checked they hair. My daughter was almost crying by the time my mom got there because she thought she was in trouble. None of the teachers spoke to my mom or my daughter. And my daughters teacher who what always since day one, talked to my daughter when we came to pick her up, she would tell her by and give her hugs. And the teacher would get mad if my daughter got ready to leave without telling her by. Well that day, she say nothing to her or my mom and looked at my mom like she was trash. So my mom just told my daughter to get up and walked inside, well on of the main manager type ladies was inside the class looked at my mom and said that if we brought my daughter back the next day that she was going to have to have her head checked before entering her class

bacause the whole schhol had to be fumagated. And said it very rude. No remember, my mother has never been to that school to pick my daughter up before and they did not ask any questions as to her name to make sure she was on the list to even pick my daughter up.

Also I understand that they had to keep my daughter away form the other kids but, why did they have to tell her she was in "timeout" and make her sit in the dirt, when there was chairs right there? MShe had no idea why, all she thought was that she was in trouble. Why couldn't they have had one over the 15 teachers that was there, take her inside and sit with her till someone got there to pick her up? Why make her have to sit outside with the other kids that are playing and they tell her no she can't when she did nothing wrong?

Am I wrong for thinking that they could have handled that different? I mean come on, she is only 4 years old. Not to mention the looks and rude comments made to my mom!

Sorry it took me so long to get my whole post posted. But I am a slow typer and it was rather long.

Thank you for your answers. I felt they were wrong and she did my mom and dad but I wasn't sure if it was just us because she is our little baby, or if someone else would think it was handled poorly.

Just to let everyone know, I have decided that since it is VPK and she dosen't "have" to go. I am going to to keep her out since I am on bedrest and my parents are here during the week while Daddy is at work because he works long hours and doesn't want me her by myself incase something happens. We have diecided that it would be easier on everyone not to have to worry about get her back and forth to school everyday if something was to happen with me and they baby. And after the baby comes (Should be in the next 2 weeks) and the holidays, I will re-enroll her somewhere else. I was thinking about the school the elementry school that she will be going to next year.

Answer 1

ok you need to write more about it. since my daughetr is in daycare im guessing your about to say she was in confinement away from playing with the other kids.
she shouldnt have to be in the dirt if she was punished. the daycare my daughter goes to puts the kids hair up in a ponytail, (in rubber elastics i hate since its ripping her hair out when i have to take them out) but i cant argue.
if she was punished for haveing eggs in her hair that doesnt make sence. if she was there playing without being punished it is kind of crule to signal out 1 kid.

tip for next time: i use flea shampoo to get rid of lice. because its made for cats and dogs it washes out the eggs without needing to comb threw for them. comb threw anyways just to make sure, but generally its not needed. and dont let the fact that its for flees and not lice fool you. they are both mites and since lice are becomeing immune to lice shampoo the flea shampoo works, and the lice arent immune to it. also no waiting 10-15 min with the solusion in her hair.

i feel for you for the embarasment though. its why i dont bring my daughter to my cusins house any longer. seems thats where she kept getting it from.

well i finshed reading the question since it was compleated so just editing. the daycare didnt have to make her feel punished for it. they could have put her to the side fine. give her something to play with great but dont punish her for something she couldnt controle. ide look at them and tell them to punish me as the parent for not being sure they were all gone. not the kid. wel i gave a sugestion for if lice happens again it does work. lice products took me 3 weeks to fully get rid of lice with the flee shampoo, wash the bedcloths, and bag the stuffys for 2 weeks and the lice problem is gone in 1 night.

wish you luck though that is a hard thing to deal with for everyone involved.

Answer 2

If this is in the high-rent district, (my son goes to such a school) then something's amiss.

1. Yes, sounds like you've taken full responsibility and understand the lice-at-school thing. Don't let this happen again.
2. Not sure why they would put her in time-out. This sounds like an over-reaction on their part. Maybe they were trying to send you a message through your daughter (if true, not a good way to handle this)
3. They should NEVER have let her out with your mother. This is a serious procedure mistake (you said they didn't check the list, right?) Part of that process is broken, and you should say so.
4. It was also rude for them to essentially ignore your mother, or look down their noses at her .This too seems unnecessary.

Bottom line: you are NOT over-reacting. If they treated my mother this way, I'd schedule a meeting with the director, where I'd admit that I should have been more diligent and apologize for the lice eggs. But I ask about the exit process. How could your daughter leave without checking the list? I'd be a broken record here: keep hammering them on this point. Be persistant, take no BS answer from them. And the overall rudeness to your mother? Mention this, but don't make a big deal out of it. Sitting in the dirt. Ask them if this is part of their normal procedure, cuz is seems strange to you. Get a good explanation.

And the poster above is right: they'll NEVER love you child as much as you will.

Answer 3

Hmmm... this is a hard one.
I can understand the point from the school about wanting to keep the lice contained, but they should have not treated your daughter like that and made her feel that she was in trouble because she had lice. It is a thing that kids go through. I think they were out of line BIG TIME. Lice is something that happens to children, it is not a reason to make the child sit in the dirt. I would call the school and talk to someone about it.

Answer 4

I think the way they handled the situation was completely wrong. First of all, they should have NEVER put her in "time-out", it's not her fault she has lice! Poor child! Second of all, the fact that they just allowed your mom to pick her up without even verifying that it was okay, is also wrong! If I were in your shoes, I would definitely call and COMPLAIN!! That is terrible!!! Also, changing her school is a good idea! I'm a liberal studies major, and I'm learning on how to deal with such things, and what they did is exactly what they advice us NOT to do!! Gosh, some teachers really need to go to better schools!!!

Answer 5

The fact that the school seperated your daughter from the other students is understandable, and the comment about checking her before she could be readmitted is also understandable...but the way they did it, by making your daughter feel as though she was being punished and ostracized by everyone was over the top and unacceptable and I think that you should lodge a complaint as to how the situation was handled by the school.

In the meantime, give your daughter a huge hug and tell her that Mommy loves her very much and she did nothing wrong and she should not have been punished for "being sick".

Answer 6

OK we've been through the headlice thing, years ago with my oldest daughter and last week with my youngest. I've never heard of a child being singled out like that. Bedrest or not you should say something, your mother should have said something. Grown women, teachers no less, should not be allowed to treat a child like that, who cares if all the rich people take their kids there, I'd be moving.

That aggravates me to no end!

Answer 7

I think this school is trash. There's a list of things not handled properly, the most dangerous of which was letting your "bug-ridden" child go out the door without ever checking an ID. The behavior you described is disgraceful. Hopefully the second time will be the charm - best of luck in choosing your next school for her.

And congrats on the pending arrival. :)

Answer 8

I agree. They handled it in the wrong way. I understand seperating her from the children, but making her feel like she was in trouble and did something wrong, is a little over the top.

I had lice in kindergarten. I didn't go to school until it was treated, but if that ever happened to me, my dad would have raised all kinds of hell with the principal AND teachers. and he would have won too. He raised hell a couple of times (over some other things they did) and ended up getting all kinds of apologies.

I agree. Take her out. It's just preschool, and you can always find another one.

Good luck.

Answer 9

They were probably trying to keep her away from the other kids, but I think they handled it the wrong way.

They made your daughter feel like she was in trouble for having lice and that's totally wrong. No big deal that she has it--most kids get it at one point or another. But you don't tell a preschooler she is in "time out" because she has lice.

Ya know what? It's just preschool. Pull her out. I would be furious if someone made my child feel that bad just because she had lice.

Answer 10

if they sat her on a chair she might lean her head back on the chair and get eggs on it which will spread them to other kids who sit there and what rude comments did they say? also get ready for this in the future because when i was in elemantary school, the teachers treated me and all the other middle class and poor kids like **** and our parents too. sometimes they would put us in timeout without telling us why. they would always favor the rich kids and now that im 16 i dont like anyone that works in schools (even if they are nice) just because of how bad i was treated in elemantary school

Answer 11

Your daughters school did handle it wrong. They are in no way supposed to exclude the child and mae him/her feel different. I attend a high school, and we currently have a staph infection in two of our students. Noone nows who the students are, and its good that its kept that way. The students are taking antibiotics and everything. But if the pincipal released the names, imagine the dirtty loos theyd gegt in the hallway. This is STAPH, a deadly disease. They should not be doing this about lice. And shes only a little kid! not right at all.