from his parents. his father is my brother and he and his mother was never married. A few weeks ago I was ill and he had a dental appointment and I ask her to take him. I don't exactly knnow what the conversation was between them, but now I am the bad guy.She told him I was too strict and he needed more freedom. He wants to hangout after school with his friends at Burger King and I want him home. She said I should give him a curfew. I told him he had one and it was home after school and in the house at dark. I also told him when he got older he would be able to do more things and have more freedom. Am I wrong?
2007-11-09 07:13:53 · 17 answers · asked by gypsyvagirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, kudos for taking someone elses responsibility. Thats very admirable. you are not being strict. He is underage and you are allowed to set boundaries to maintain order. SHE needs to butt out. If she is so concerned, she should be the full time parent.
good luck =)
2007-11-09 07:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by BumblebeeQueen84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, you aren't, and this is one of the most troubling things that can h appen when an irresponsible person has children. This same thing happens in my family. Brother in law has multiple children with various women. one of them died and so his parents have custody...he is livin on the dole, and has no parentl role with his child. BUT...he sees her often and when he does, he tells this kid that his parants should give more freedom, more "stuff", more priviledges. While he has NO responsibility, he insists he has a right to tell them h ow his kid shold be raised.
As long as you have legal standing, then stand by your guns. Kids SHOULDN'T be runnning around, and it osunds like you have a reasonable set of rules for a 14 yr old. Also, YOU ARE PAYING THE BILLS. That means you get to make the rules.
Good Luck to you!
2007-11-09 07:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by Night Owl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong.You are raising this boy not them.My son is 15 and he has to be in by dark also.On school nights anyway.On weekends he does hang out til 10pm but only if I am picking him up or he is with friends parents. She should have realized that saying these things to him was gonna cause some issues between you and you nephew.Your sis n law should be respecting your wishes considering you are the one making sure her son is raised in a safe enviroment.
2007-11-09 07:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by mudgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course you are not wrong. It sounds to me like you are setting very clear boundaries and explaning what is expected of your nephew. It doesn't get much more reasonable.
Besides, 14 is around the age where teenagers start to test those boundaries in the first place. Good to have them there. As long as he knows what is expected, fair play.
With kind regards....Finn.
2007-11-09 07:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by Finn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will extremely could tutor why your house is greater valuable than his Dad's for him. in spite of the undeniable fact that, you will would desire to additionally tutor that his Dad's house is optimal for his siblings on the comparable time. it is going to likely be tricky yet a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous, fairly if it relatively is all youthful siblings, could have diverse standards in residing house existence than babies or older ones. together with his mom's desires for him to be with you and her having popular custody i could desire which you would be fantastic in this courtroom challenge. If he has a regulation gaurdian, would not look his Dad could have lots of a pull besides.
2016-10-15 22:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by launer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you are not wrong. But I wonder even after eight years of he living with you, misinterprets your concern. I guess its more of an communication issue. As far as i have understood about relations, first you have to generate that kind of trust, through love and care and then he will probably understand why he should stay home after dark.
After all, relations are buildings with their foundation as trust!
Hope this helps
2007-11-09 07:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by param_mech 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're wrong at all. You're to be commended for your concern and sacrifice for this young boy who is not your son, and gets no financial nor parental support from his natural parents. I don't think your curfews are too strict for a 14-year-old boy, and in fact, are quite lenient. His parents probably wouldn't care if he stayed out all night. Just stick to your guns and pay no attention to these people. If they were decent parents, their son would be living with them and not with you. Do something nice for yourself while you're at it. You deserve it! Good luck!
2007-11-09 07:27:12 · answer #7 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, at this time in his life he needs rules. He amy not understand that the rules are because you love him. If you are guardian, then why is the mother even giving her opinion? You are the one raising him, not her. He will be better off if you stay active in his life and not let him run wild in the streets.
2007-11-09 07:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Joes Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not wrong. in the world today there are too many bad things that can happen to someone. i would do the same thing if i were you and it was kind of rude for his mom to disagree with you infront of him. that in my eyes would cause a conflict. i hope no uprising becomes of that. teens in the puberty stage are prone to rebel. keep having a tight grip on him. it is the best thing anyone can do for their child. good luck.
2007-11-09 07:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what nerve the birth mother has! You need to explain w/o knocking her that you are responsible for him, and that she has relinquished that responsibility and not provided support. As long as it's not said meanly and is the truth, he is old enough to hear it. You have his best interests in mind; obviously she doesn't. If you can, don't ask her for anything.
2007-11-09 07:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anna P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋