Sex question, for explaining to kids?

Question

When it comes to kids, i always think that honesty is the best policy.

i would like to talk to my son about sex etc, but am worried about how to start the conversation, should i wait till he asks questions about it, or tell him every thing now?

When i was pregnant with my youngest child, i told him about sex and he has been quite happy with the explaination i gave him, so maybe i should just wait for him to ask more questions?

Answer 1

Honestly and consistency is essential. Anything else is asking for trouble.

As has already been mentioned, you didn't say how old he is.

Nowadays, it is unlikely that you can tell any school child ( certainly from secondary level) anything they don't already know.

Try and avoid being judgemental about it. That can open a can of worms.

It is probably pointless asking them 'what they know, or is there anything they want to know'. The answer is likely to be 'nothing'.

The only attitude I would offer in terms of giving advice is that of 'consideration'. Sex should be a mutually consenting activity. If not, then someone is being abused.

Be matter of fact. You have a privileged position as you are his parent, and he was born because of your own sexual activity, so you have something of offer him, which he will respect if he doesn't think you are trying to an 'angle' on it.

There is no 'right' time, but waiting for him to ask could be forever, but it is probably a good idea as whatever knowledge he may have picked up from his peers/playground etc., may not be altogether correct or desirable, so you do have responsibility.

It sounds to me like you are a considerate and caring parent already. I am sure you won't go far wrong :)

(I am 53, with a partner for 30 years, and 2 grown up children, boy and girl).

Answer 2

It all depends on how old your son is. I had to explain the whole thing to my daughter when she was 7. A few children at school were saying she was shagging a boy. I thought I would tell her what it was all about as the other children probably didn't have a clue. She was fine about it and asked quite a lot of questions, but at least now she knows the truth about it all and not just myths and lies that other children would have told her. Having said that I guess it must be slightly different discussing it with a boy. I think that I will probably leave that to my husband - let him do the whole boy thing! Good luck.

Answer 3

You didn't mention how old he is.

Honesty and a clinical approach is the best way. Filling children's heads with nonsense to "protect" them is a bad idea because it can implant things into their minds that will only confuse them later on when the facts need to be addressed.

You can explain the stuff scientifically with the help of a good anatomy book to remove any discomfort involved. It will also educate him in a way that he will learn not to be embarassed or ashamed and he won't be puzzled over biological functions of women when he starts dating.

You could always buy the book, leave it out on the coffee table, kinda like bait. And then when you see him pick it up, initiate the conversation. Or you could just buy the book and hand it to him, tell him to look over it and let you know when he's ready to ask questions. It's straightforward and to the point.

Answer 4

Depending on the age. If the child is still young, then I won't worry about it till he asks, but if they are a teenage years, tell them everything, so they don't hear it from their friends, and Want to try it. Remember they have done studies and kids that are as young as age 12 are having sex, so do it before then. Good Luck

Answer 5

Just wait for him to ask more questions. Unless they ask there is no reason to spike that curiosity and he probably wouldn't be interested. Besides when a child wants to know about sex they don't aren't asking about juicy details they just want a simple explanation that makes sense to them. So you don't have to go into great detail but just explain in simple terms as it sounds you already did. Apparantly all he wanted to know you already answered so I wouldn't bring it up unless he asks more questions.
You have already made it o.k. for him to know that if he needs to he can ask you any questions so just let him ask when he is ready.

Answer 6

Depends on how old he is. As you say, honesty is the best policy and think I'd just answer the questions as and when they arise. As he gets older I think it's also important to teach about self respect, respecting a girl/woman and being honest in a relationship, but thats for when they are in their early teens.

Answer 7

Be honest... let him feel comfortable asking any questions he may have - but don't "over-share" and overwhelm him with information about things which he doesn't really need to know about at his age.

For example, if he asks you about sexual intercourse - you don't have to explain things like anal or oral sex in great detail at that moment. Just give him the information he's curious about and let him know that you're happy to talk to him about anything he's got questions about.

Also remember, he's going to be gauging your reactions to certain things and if you show obvious signs of discomfort or hesitation or reluctance - it may effect his own views on those topics or his future interactions with you in asking questions about that.

Answer 8

if he is a teenager you may have to come clean,lol but if not just explain it to him in the same way u did at first but only this time plant in his head that he has to be grown and married before all that takes place tell him that people are going to try to tell him different but those are the ones who don't know much

Answer 9

You answer the question he asks directly and simply. Then you asks if that answers his question or does he have any more questions. That is the information he is ready for and wants. You could try asking him if he understands something if you see he seems puzzled about something he sees or hears. Give him the information he is ready for.

Answer 10

you.re right you must be honest but not graphic.. start by asking him what he knows already and tell him you would like to put him straight on his questions of sex so that he is not embarressed by being told a load of untrue stuff by his friends ...