Should I take the job or stay home with my kids?

Question

I have a 19 month old and an 11 yr old who gets home from school at 3 pm. I have one part-time job, waitressing, but the place isn't very busy and with Christmas coming, I don't know if I'll be able to afford our bills as well as Christmas expenses. I've been offered a "permanent part-time" position at a department store and I turned it down but they counter-offered for 50 cents more per hour plus paid vacations and personal days, as well as flexibility in the schedule to work around my other job. My brain is telling me to take it so I can have the steady, reliable income as well as the quick, easy cash that comes from the restaurant on the weekends. My heart is telling me to stay home with my baby. My older son has ADHD and needs constant hounding to keep up with getting homework and chores done when he gets home. He and my husband butt heads so much, I'd rather be here for him myself.

SOOO steadier income to help the family or stay home to be with them?

HELP!

Answer 1

Your decision should not have to be between the two of those chooses. There are other options, like finding a job where the hours work better for your family life or finding another family to trade off watching each other kids. Do remember that your kids come first and they would rather have less things and more time with family!

Answer 2

If you can afford it, this might be the best time to do it. The chance to be there with your babies only comes once. On the other hand getting back onto a career track, if that's where you want to go, is immeasurably more difficult once you've been out; you're competing against unencumbered people who are naturally less of a challenge for employers. I stayed home with my 3 and gradually increased my part-time work. Having experienced full-time employment as well as full-time stay-at-home motherhood I feel I'm well qualified to state that the outside job is by far the easier option, because it's 1. remunerated 2. respected and 3. relatively uncomplicated. However I don't regret the time "lost" to childrearing, because it's a fact of life that these hard choices come up. I feel lucky to have had the choice at all, and knowing what I now do about the early years of childhood I would not do anything differently. It sounds like a list (or several) of pros and cons might help you with the decision. You can always give it a go and if it's not working, try a different arrangement. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 3

How much will child care cost you for the 19 month old- that is sort of the depending factor. Sometimes once you add up child care, possibly some new clothing for a dept store job, try to figure out what to do when one of your children are sick or your oldest has a day off from school, it just doesnt add up. Not if you have any choice which it sounds like you do.
Plus you have a job on the weekends already. If I were you I would offer a good deal on after school care to other Mom's who have to be out of the home at that time. This is working only about 3 to 31/2 hours a day depending on your parents schedules, gives your son someone to do homework with, and makes you some decent money. And yes those hours are hectic but I watch just one little girl after school and make an extra $200 each month - imagine if you had 4 or 5 you could make $250 to 500 a week!! working 15 hours a week.

Answer 4

That's a hard question.

As far the person who said that "kids will never remember the presents"...presents are a big deal to kids. If I really wanted something for Christmas, but I didn't get it I was really disappointed and upset. Kids don't always understand the value of having mommy at home versus getting the new toy that they keep begging for. I do see the value of staying home and would love to be able to stay home to take care of my kids, but I also want to provide my kids with a college education and take them to see far-off places.

As for your 11 year old...even though he has ADHD you can't be there for him forever. He needs to learn how to do things on his own. Since you are working more you might be able to offer him incentives(assuming he doesn't get an allowance already) to doing things on his own.

On the other hand I don't want you to get so into working that you forget about taking care of your kids. I don't know how hard you will be working compared to the time you can take care of your kids. Jobs can sometimes be stressful and when you get home you may not want to deal with the stress of raising kids. You definatly don't want that to happen.

Personally I think you should take the job for the holidays. Once the holidays are over see how it impacts your care to your children. You may decide that your children are fine. You may see that you would rather be with your children. you'll never know until you give it a try. Usually after the holidays business slows down and the department store might not need you anymore. If you decide to leave at that point then it won't be as big of a deal to them.

Paying bills and not getting yourself into debt is really important. I think providing a safe, comfortable home with heat and healthy, good food is better than staying home with your kids in fear that the electricity will be turned off. One of the major causes for divorce is money issues. I'm not suggesting you're heading towards divorce at all. I don't know if your money issues are serious or not. Even if two people love each other sometimes the stress of not having enough money can cause the two to get into fights.

Answer 5

well, the bills have been paid in prior months so that isn't a big concern. Ask yourself: in the long run, would a better gift for my kids be new toys or mommy at home. Why not 'boycott' gifts this year. Or only do one gift. For extend family we only buy presents (1) for kids who are 12 and under. That would save you lots of money. Just talk it over with the family. If you did take the job, you would want to quit it as soon as christmas was over anyway, which won't look too good if you ever did need a job. good luck!!

Answer 6

Sounds like the store wants you and you may be in a great position to negotiate. Offer the store full time during the holidays and part-time after. Think of more options, then just yes or no. Plus the store would appear to have much more options for advancement.

And why keep the waitressing job, if you take the other?

Answer 7

I think this is something you have to decide...what is best for YOU. But if the position is "flexible" with the work schedules and they can work around the hours you need in order to be there for your kids then I would definitely take the position. You could always quit if it doesn't work out.

Answer 8

If your job pays the bills and you can sacrifice the extra's then staying at home makes sense.

Answer 9

personally I would stay home, but that is me. if you think you'll need the income, take it. try it out and see how your ds does without you there to "hound" him. if it hurts him academically, quit the job and take care of your family. there is only one way to find out.

Answer 10

if christmas bills are your only financial concern then stay at home with the kids. when they're grown they won't remember what they got for christmas anyhow