Hi,
I am a Christian woman in my mid 20's. God is the most important thing in my life. Like everyone else, I am not a perfect person, however I am so thankful for his grace & forgiveness and that he is enough for me to pass.
I have been dating a wonderful sensitive man and from the very beginning have been asking God to end it no questions asked if he didn't approve. This man and I have grown close and are talking of marriage. He is not a believer. He has a very bland background in his family when it comes to spirituality.. very neutral. He knows little of Christ and the Bible, and he has been attending a young adults church with me which he enjoys and thanks me for introducing him to this part of life he never knew. He knows God is #1 with me. I love his heart.. and he will be fine with rasing our children Christian.
I am aware of being unevenly yolked with unbelievers and hardships that can arise out of such situations. It feels right and I have been praying that God end it..
2007-11-09 05:39:10 · 15 answers · asked by carlaerickson 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
if it is not. I have a pastor family friend who will be conducting premarital counselling and he always jumps at the chance to minister to a future spouse who is not yet a confirmed believer.
Have any of you been in this situation?
I am not about to do anything rash unless the word is from God himself... but I would like to get some outsider's points of view besides those of my close friends and family. I must add, he said he cannot promise he will always believe what I believe but he will always support what I believe. He seems to have an interest in God lately..
also I think one reason why he has never dug into the spiritual aspect of life is because he has Christian relatives who are a bit abrasive at times and it has turned him and his family off.
2007-11-09 05:39:35 · update #1
I also have a Christian friend who's been married for 20 yrs and she said there were points in their relationship where he didn't believe. Then she didn't believe. Etc... (they are both believers now)so there are no guarantees your spouse is going to maintain the same conviction through their entire lives?
Basically the one nagging thing is scripture on being yolked. I don 't want to try to justify why I am the exception, you know????
2007-11-09 05:41:02 · update #2
You ask a very good question...can two people of different belief systems come together and raise a family in harmony and for their greater good? Yes, but it takes work on both people's part. I'm not sure why you are asking God to help you to end it...if you feel it's right, God is there to support your decision. If it's not right, then all you have to do is end it yourself. Good luck with either decision...may the Universe provide!
2007-11-09 05:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rev Debi Brady 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am a Catholic woman. I am a wife and a mother. My husband has a great heart and he is a wonderful person. However, he is not a believer. I am raising my children Catholic and my husband doesn't stand in the way of that. Always put Christ 1st in your life. Your soul is the most important thing on this earth. You are accountable for your children so pray that God will guide you in the right direction. God bless you.
2007-11-09 13:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have several women in our church family that married men who didn't attend church. From them I've learned this: it will cause trouble in the marriage; not may, it will. I had a teenage boy in my Sunday school class tell me when he turns 18, he's gonna be like his dad and not come to church. We have a mother with three young children that is simply overworked managing the kids at church without help from her husband. Her mother married a man who wouldn't come to church and he's fell off the sober wagon and left his wife. There's really no positive examples I have to give.
I don't mean to discourage you and if God wasn't a big issue with you, there'd be no problem. But if God is truly your #1, there'll be problems down the road because you two don't see eye to eye on a fundamental level. The problems can be overcome, but they will be there. I just love you as a Christian enough to tell you the truth as I've seen it. I'm not saying abandon this guy. And it sounds like he may be on his way to meet Jesus at the cross...I hope so. But be careful, keep praying, attend the premarital counseling, and if you marry before he commits his life to Christ, rely on God to carry you through. Best wishes.
2007-11-09 14:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by starfishltd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the fact that you are being extremely careful and you are incorporating God because you want to be pleasing in His sight.
Continue to pray about it and don't ask the Lord to end it ask the Lord to prick your man's heart so that he can be open and receptive to hearing God's Words and to accept Jesus as his Lord and personal savior. God has brought this man in your life for a reason and you could be the only Christian he knows that is actually trying to live your life according to God's Will. You are setting the example for him. God could be using you so that he can come to Him later on in the future.
I pray that it will work out and I'm sure it will. Trust God, have Faith and continue to love and support your man the way God needs you to.
I'm praying for you.
2007-11-09 14:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by Giggles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think, that God gives us scripture with the exceptions already factored in. You posed the best case scenarios but what about the worst? Are you prepared (because the time will come) when you are going to have to stand on your faith believing for God to do something that your husband doesnt have the faith for? If your marriage was say, in trouble...and you are praying for God to fix the situation. The most that you can do is to pray that God give you the strength to endure it and/or save your husband (if he remains unsaved). God isnt going to change a behavior in your husband to suit you as he remains unsaved. So when you do go through those trying times, you will have to accept the possibility that they may never change. You cannot convict someone of their behavior biblically if they dont believe. So if say, he became addicted to porn, you cant apply biblical reasoning to him about why its wrong if he doesnt believe it. Maybe he thinks its harmless? Above all, the BIble says that the husband is responsible for the spiritual growth of his wife. If your husband is not walking in obedience to God, how will he lead you?
I understand praying that God remove the person and I applaud you for being obedient to that. I was the same way with my husband because I want to be in God's WIll at all times but if he does not become a believer you need to be prepared to have some hard roads ahead. And likewise be prepared to suffer through them because they are assured to come and you chose it with your eyes wide open.
2007-11-09 13:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had spared my husband the years where I wasn't a Christian. Yes, we have a wonderful marriage now, but my unbelief and his disobedience toGod's Word have brought challenges. Now we have to explain to our kids that the Bible says not to be unequally yoked even though we were. Talk about feeling hypocritical!
Share the gospel with him. Yes, you will still have ups and downs spiritually, but at least you know you'll be in heaven together!
If he is a good man, and it sounds like he is, have a serious talk about this! If you aren't sure how to share GOd's plan of salvation with him ask your pastor to.
My hubby was afraid of sharing Christ with me because he was afraid of how I would respond. How I wish he had told me earlier in our relationship! My life would have been so much better. Give him the information he needs to make a decision for Christ.
I am earnestly praying for both of you!
2007-11-09 13:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I practice shamanism and live with a Christian. By the sounds of your concerns, you two get along much better on religious matters than we do. I think situations like yours and mine need time. Getting married while he is going through major spiritual changes is very risky. I'd say go ahead and get engaged and let the engagement be a long one. No need to rush eternal unity, right? We aren't engaged yet. No sense doing that when we haven't resolved our spiritual conflicts. We're working on it. Hope it works out well for you two!
2007-11-09 13:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by Tommy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just ask a question yourself.You are a believer and he is a nonbeliever.Both of you know your stand already.How come your feeling towards him and his feeling towards you is so strong?God is love.Your love towards each other will make you accomodative to each other and make life happy and pleasant.Having come to this point don't waver.Go ahead with your plan to become life partners.Wish you a long happy married life.
2007-11-09 14:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by macmillion46 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is tough. Heck, I married a southern baptist, and myself am a Roman Catholic. (thanksgiving is a hoot)
Different beliefs can be difficult to juggle, but that is part of marriage. Marriage is about experiencing your spouse, watching them grow, and having someone watch over you while you grow.
Go with it. May God grant you the serenity to accept the flaws in your spouce, the wisdom to accept your own, and the courage to love unconditinally.
2007-11-09 13:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by lundstroms2004 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps there is a reason God put you with a non-believer.
2007-11-09 13:56:46 · answer #10 · answered by Blue Oyster Kel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋