Hi,
I am a Christian woman in my mid 20's. God is the most important thing in my life. Like everyone else, I am not a perfect person, however I am so thankful for his grace & forgiveness and that he is enough for me to pass.
I have been dating a wonderful sensitive man and from the very beginning have been asking God to end it no questions asked if he didn't approve. This man and I have grown close and are talking of marriage. He is not a believer. He has a very bland background in his family when it comes to spirituality.. very neutral. He knows little of Christ and the Bible, and he has been attending a young adults church with me which he enjoys and thanks me for introducing him to this part of life he never knew. He knows God is #1 with me. I love his heart.. and he will be fine with rasing our children Christian.
I am aware of being unevenly yolked with unbelievers and hardships that can arise out of such situations. It feels right and I have been praying that God end it..
2007-11-09 05:21:09 · 10 answers · asked by carlaerickson 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
if it is not. I have a pastor family friend who will be conducting premarital counselling and he always jumps at the chance to minister to a future spouse who is not yet a confirmed believer.
Have any of you been in this situation?
I am not about to do anything rash unless the word is from God himself... but I would like to get some outsider's points of view besides those of my close friends and family.
2007-11-09 05:25:21 · update #1
I must add, he said he cannot promise he will always believe what I believe but he will always support what I believe. He seems to have an interest in God lately..
also I think one reason why he has never dug into the spiritual aspect of life is because he has Christian relatives who are a bit abrasive at times and it has turned him and his family off.
2007-11-09 05:28:19 · update #2
Basically the one nagging thing is scripture on being yolked. I don 't want to try to justify why I am the exception, you know????
2007-11-09 05:31:25 · update #3
Thanks for your prayers imasis2.
I really need prayer for strength and his salvation!
2007-11-09 05:43:20 · update #4
You need to stop expecting God to intervene. You need to decide what you want and what is right for you.
Here are a few things to consider:
He will not change. If you marry him and he is not a believer, don't expect him to become one. You will just need to accept that and learn to deal with it.
As a Christian I am sure that you believe it is the job of the parents to teach their children the gospel and about Jesus Christ. If one of you believes and the other does not, then that will confuse your children. It is highly unfair to expect children to find their own way in life. They need their parents guidance.
It is very difficult to be married to someone who has different values and beliefs. Right now you both have rose colored glasses on- but that will change. And without similar beliefs the road will be tougher. What happens when you feel that God id guiding you in a certain direction for your good, and he wants to go another way? He lacks the faith to understand your belief.
If you are asking God to end it, then you probably know deep down that this is not what you want and that you need to end it. When you expect God to intervene, then that makes it an easy way out for you. It is easier to blame it on God, rather than saying that a belief in God is important to you and that it is important to find someone who loves God as much as you do. Then you may have to admit that you were wrong. This does not mean that he is a bad person or anything- he is just not what you are looking for. If I were you I would save you both years of misery and find someone with beliefs that are similar to yours. Quit expecting God to do it for you. God only helps those who help themselves.
Love is essential to a happy marriage, but is not enough. You need to have similar values and beliefs to truly be happy in a marriage.
2007-11-09 05:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The first place we should go is scripture. If scriptures says that we should not marry an unbeliever - in I Corinthians, Paul writes, "how will we know if we can save our spouse?"
Think about the salvation of your family - will your husband ever come to know God? He may not - and imagine the hurt that will cause you. And what about the children? "Raising them Christian" doesn't mean a whole lot - children emulate what their parents do. If they see that their dad is not Christian, that will hurt their budding relationships with God.
I don't know you or the man, but I can point toward scripture. It indicates that you shouldn't marry him - something you already seem to know. Follow God, not man (in this case, your own feelings). That being said, it would be good to continue praying and maybe to fast and ask God for a direct answer. But remember, the Word of God is perfect and lasts forever, and is our greatest answer to these tough questions.
2007-11-09 05:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by TWWK 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You need to go on faith not feelings. Faith is knowing God's WOrd is true. IF you know God's Word is true, you need to follow it. Our emotions can deceive us. God has told you through His WOrd what is right. The question is- Are you going to obey it?
I know it sounds harsh. I wish there was an exception. I was an unbeliever when my husband and I married. My unbelief cost him years of spiritual growth. Yes, I am saved now, but our marriage would have had more joy in the early years if we had neen equally yoked.
Besides attending church with him have you shared the gospel with him? Have you let him know what he needs to do to be saved? Maybe he hasn't made that decision because he doesn't know how or that a decision is even required. Make sharing the gospel with him your first priority today.
I'm praying for his salvation. God bless.
2007-11-09 05:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me just ask you a question and I'm not trying to be harsh or confrontational. If you are a Christian. You likely believe that the bible is God's revealed word. If that is the case, when it says with the context of marriage in mind not to be yoked with unbelievers (meaning don't marry them), how do you deal with that verse? You say you've been asking God if he approves or not? But if it is clearly stated that he does not approve already than I'm curious as to why you are asking. You wouldn't ask the same question on stealing, adultery or murder--so why here? If you choose to go forward with this fine, but if God is as you put it the most important thing in your life you may want to give it some thought.
Just my opinion, and again not attempting to be harsh just ask you about your thought process.
2007-11-09 05:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by Todd 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I hate to break this, but I see no reason why God would end the relationship for you. He lets us make our own decisions. Pray for your boyfriend instead of asking God to end the relationship.
I'm not saying that your relationship can't work; all I'm saying is: "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" - Amos 3:3
2007-11-09 05:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by The Chaplain 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Study the matter out in your heart, and take the question before God. he will reveal his will to you by the power of prayer and personal revelation that you are entitled to as his child. That pattern has worked many times for me.
2007-11-09 06:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a nice man.
But God has already spoken to you on this issue. The Bible is like a love letter to you, as I'm sure you know. It's written directly to you. And in it, God COMMANDS believers not to marry non-believers. Period. Your feelings do not have a place in this situation.
But it sounds like he might actually be interested in Christianity. Have you asked him if he would like to receive Christ as his Lord & Savior? He may just not know how to go about it. Maybe if you guys went ahead and met with the minister, the minister could talk to him about it if you aren't comfortable with it.
But be aware that he might be inclined to agree with something just to be with you. Make sure it's a genuine change of heart before you marry him.
If he doesn't accept Jesus...then don't marry him.
2007-11-09 05:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Best wishes in your upcoming marriage.
You can't force this man to believe as you do. This is one of those issues you have to agree to disagree on. He loves you. He will respect your religious conviction. He may come around to your way of life. However he may not.
If you have the same core values, that can sustain you through the tough times -- as long as you only disagree on finer points.
Good luck to both of you!
2007-11-09 05:28:30 · answer #8 · answered by mediahoney 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am what some would refer to as a Christian Witch. My faith is very strong and I practice it often. My husband is on the fence somewhere between Atheist and Agnostic (it would depend on the mood in which you catch him as to his answer) Our relationship is one of mutual respect and admiration. I often buy books and movies for him related to his chosen path and he even catches rainwater for my ritual use. Of course I hope to impact him by my behavior and lifestyle as I'm sure he does as well. Neither of us though, would ever try to "convert" the other. I love him just the way he is. His intellect, logic and reasoning are a few of the things that originally attracted me to him. As were my steadfast hold of my beliefs and my intellect some of the reasons he was drawn to me. I can't speak for everyone, but for us, it works.
Brightest Blessings
2007-11-09 05:27:59 · answer #9 · answered by Celestian Vega 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I hope he receives Christ in counseling.............if not, I would advise against the marriage. I hope he does!
2007-11-09 05:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by fanofchan 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋