Does the act of Spanking or harsh punishment for improper behavior show Love?

Question

Canadian Atheist -- you need to reread the question and concentrate on the word "or". In this question I am equating Spanking with harsh punishment as a tool to correct improper behavior.

But I am encouraged by your understanding that spanking is a much needed parenting tool.

Answer 1

It is not punishment that corrects improper behavior. It is the desire of the child to avoid punishment that corrects improper behavior.

For that reason, if a child knows that they will not be punished, or that they will be punished in any case, it looses effectiveness. Either way will fail. Judgment on the part of the parent is very important, and the child must know inside that they are loved.

Inflicting physical suffering is wrong. Instilling the wish to please a loved parent is best.

When my children were small, the schools sent home a document for me to sign allowing them to inflict corporeal punishment. I sent it back with a little rewording. I told them that they could spank my children if they thought it necessary, but that if I did not agree that it had been necessary I would inflict the same punishment on them in front of their students. My judgment was I felt superior to theirs as a few classes in education is not a generator of wisdom.

They never answered my letter.

They never spanked my children either.

Answer 2

What does the word of God say about that. It is in the scripture and if you believe in the bible, then read and you will see that it says to not spare the rod and spoil the child. Spanking is something that the new generation of people don't agree with, but have you ever been in the supermarket and watched the child throwing a tantrum at the register because their mother and/or father told them they couldn't any the candy that they place there which makes it hard on mothers and fathers shopping with their children. I have watched children with the new age parents sitting o the floor raising a commotion and watching the mother/father telling their child to stop that and I've never seen it work. Spanking doesn't hurt a child if it is done correctly and right on the bottom and without use of an object, battle, wooden spoon, belt. That, to me, is unacceptable. I have three boys 38, 34 and 28 and all were spanked and they turned out to be fine boys and they don't believe that they were harmed when they were spanked by their mother and/or me. In fact they say it worked and it does. Doing nothing but trying to reason to a 2-8 years old doesn't work. Take it from one who has been there.

Answer 3

The punishment should fit the "crime" so I'm not sure what you mean by harsh punishment so that one is iffy to answer.

As far as spanking, I see no problem with it as long as the parent doesn't beat the child. A few swats on the behind teaches a child to listen, to obey and to respect authority. My mother spanked me a few times but she talked with me before she spanked me to make sure I understood what I had done wrong. She always told me the spankings hurt her more than they did me, something I didn't understand until I got older :)

Spanking does not show hate, it shows love for the child. It shows the child that you care about how they grow up and want them to be decent people who will be a respected and law abiding citizens.

And it is evident discipline isn't in the homes anymore. The kids are allowed to do anything they want and many of them are the ones who are terrorizing others today. They are acting out their feeling of neglect and the lack of love they didn't receive when they were growing up and many of them have no self-respect, no self-esteem and become leaches on society.

Answer 4

I would argue that it can. First a distinction - kissing my wife shows love while kissing my homophobe uncle would show hate but the action is the same. So, to be clear, spanking can be, and often is, hateful.

However, the loving thing to do to someone over whom you are tasked with authority for their upbringing and who is hurting themselves someone else in some way is to use the least amount of force (physical or emotional) you believe is required to restore the moral sphere. If my son won't stop yelling, I redirect him. I get him doing something else. I continually remind him. If it gets really bad I might consider making a privilege (like playing with a given toy) conditional on his not yelling. If he won't quit yelling at maximum decibels into his baby brother's ear I will then send him to his room for a while.

But if he hits his brother I will skip all that and go right to hitting him back. That he follows this rule is more important than why he follows it. I want him to act well out of empathy and care for others. When that is slow going, sometimes it is necessary to extract good behavior before the empathy is developed. But I suspect my infant son who was getting hit would find this action quite loving indeed.

Answer 5

I was never spanked by my parents. They put me in time outs. I've never been in trouble with the law (except that one warning I got for going 45 in a 35 at midnight, being the only car on the road, trying to make it home to beat curfew). I've never done drugs. I have an A average. I'm going to keep on schooling until I have my Master's and Doctorate.

Question the quality of parenting, not how much the parents beat their kids.

Answer 6

well punishment is good , but it is not like abuse, punishing your kids (which does include spanking at times) when they disobey you or do things that can hurt or even kill themselves or others. it is what sets the boundaries that they will live by. it helps them to develope into healthy minded adults. abuse only twists and destroys peoples ability to love others in a healthy way. now this is not "blanket statement" , since some few do go on to lead healthy emotional lives in spite of abuse, but generally this is what happens. have you ever seen those kids that completely disrespect or even cuss out their parents? i do firmly believe that there was abuse and/or a severe lack of discipline (which is also abuse) in those kids. i know when i see that i am thinking to myself , "one good swat in the rear end right now and everyone around you would commend you for disciplining your kid." everyone knows kids need to be disciplined. but the lines have been blurred about what is abuse aand what is healthy.
EDIT: but about the blurred lines stated above...i am still grateful for the social services people. they have helped rescue so many abused and neglected children. in other countries the exploitation and abuse of kids goes unchecked for generations! its just that some people's discipline are other people's abuse.

Answer 7

We tell our children not to run into the street. If they do it anyway, then we punish them so that they will remember next time not to run into the street. Punishment, including spanking, is a teaching tool for our children's safety.

Answer 8

It shows more love than just completely ignoring your kids and not caring if they do bad things. I've seen some parents like that and I think their children probably would have preferred getting an occasional spanking rather than always being ignored.

Answer 9

Spanking is a form of tough love and is not improper. Not sure what you mean by harsh punishment, so I can't elaborate on that, since that can mean different things to different people.

Answer 10

My child goes to reach for the burner on my stove that is hot.

I tell him no. Yet, he tries again. So I spank him.

What do you suppose hurts the child worse? The spanking or the burning he would recieve by touching the hot stove?

So I spank my child because I love him and want to keep him safe.