I am the one that always comes up with the great ideas...they will ignore my email...and then two weeks later claim that they have a great idea for a gift and it will be my idea! They ignore my emails and I am just trying to help. How do you deal with catty women like this? I married their brother and they are jealous of that I know (I have been told by the mom). I want them to know they do not bother me although they do....help!
2007-11-09 05:07:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Quit sharing your ideas with them, even if they ask ~ just tell them you will have to give it some thought and if you think of something, you will email them the information or call them. They are very self-centered and immature and need to grow up. Just keep a smile on your face when you see them. They have to learn to handle their petty attitudes but there isn't any reason for you to let them get to you or for you to get that involved with them.
I had a cousin who did this to me many years ago and then made everyone think she was this, that and the other while she ignored me ~ only called me if she needed to use me. I got so I could read her like a book and knew what she was up to so I quit sharing things with her. Amazing how she wasn't so "clever" after that. I get tired of people who use me so even though I don't do anything to get even (I leave that up to God), I also don't have to volunteer things to people like that.
I do feel for you having to deal with them, though. I moved out of state when I married so I no longer have to deal with my cousin :)
2007-11-09 05:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's your life. You do not have to cow-tow to these women simply because you have married their brother. Simply do not associate with those caliber of people. But, you will need to be honest and open with them about why. If they don't like it. Too bad. It's your life. Or, just don't say anything at all and do your own thing. Purchase your own gift for the parents and do not share what it is. It's your life, and your husband should support you. Good luck. Some women can be so petty; it's truly a shame.
2007-11-09 05:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet as 3.141 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nix the group gift and just get the parents a gift from you and your husband, as a couple. It sounds like they didn't take well to cooperative playing as children so don't allow them to suck you into their drama. If they ask what's up just tell them that you decided to get something on your own this year. They have absolutely no right to *****, although I'm sure they will. So what? Be gracious but do your own thing.
2007-11-09 06:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sophra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they email you for ideas as to what to buy, just email back to them that you and your husband have decided to give a separate gift this year. I'll bet they get your emails and you hear from them then. If they ask why tell them the truth, that you are tired of them taking credit for the suggestions you give them as if you didn't exist.
2007-11-09 05:17:24 · answer #4 · answered by Diane B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ignore their idea theft. You and your husband get your in-laws something nice and stay out of it. If your husband feels compelled to go in with his sisters, then put a dollar amount limit on it.
2007-11-09 05:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by JJHantsch 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to ignore them and don't share info that you don't want them to claim for themselves... Or save your sent emails and the date can prove that you came up with the "idea" first. Otherwise let it go. If they want to be that underhanded, let them. It will eventually catch up with them.
2007-11-09 05:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by Danie S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't offer any ideas, let them think of something on their own, however lame it may be. Can you and your hubby get a gift on your own? That would also solve the problem.
2007-11-09 05:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by J M 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe offer to take them out to lunch someday and try to bond with them, if they turn you down keep persisting and offer to take the mother-in-law out too! You can try and share with them that you are not as close to them as you would like to be and always around them be nice about their brother never down him in front of them. And if that doesn't work Start doing your own gift idea, don't share it with them.
2007-11-09 05:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by jcturtle27 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
don't e-mail them - give them ideas only in person when all 3 of you are present.
don't participate in the group gift!
just do your own thing.
2007-11-09 05:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by Doodles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares? Are you that narcissistic that you have to get credit for the gift? Like you said, they are catty women. The best way to deal with that is accept it and ignore it.
2007-11-09 05:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋