To cut a very long story short........ when i was 18 i met a guy who was 30, that was 2 years ago, he was my first serious bf and my family had a problem with the fact he was 12 years older then me! we have fuded over it since and now, 2 years on, after a row with my sister one night about this guy, i walked out from home, moved in with my bf, and havn't been home since, this was back in march this year!
you see, because my parents had such an issue with the age gap, they told me a year ago that if myself and my bf didnt end the relationship, i had to move out, so we split for a bit, wha with the stress of it all, but got back together a while later, but were sneaking around behind my parents back cos of the way they'd behaved the first time.
Since i moved out, on the rear times i speak to my family ,all we do is row, and were no closer to sorting things out, they say i'm just a liar. i want to sort things out bu i dont know how to without rowing all the time!
2007-11-09 04:58:05 · 10 answers · asked by London girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i can i just say, that i'm asking for advice regarding my famliy, not your views on our age gap!!!!!!!!
2007-11-09 05:11:39 · update #1
I can see their point. You need to remember that everything you will be going through he has been there done that already & after a while that may become very boring for him. Plus you will want to do things that is what your age group does & for him that would be acting like teen, which he isn't.
Think about it if you 2 decide to get married & have kids lets say when you in your 20's he will be in this late 30's, will he want to deal with that.
I am not against age differences but there are a lot more issues when there is an age gap, & that is something that the 2 of you need to talk about.
2007-11-09 05:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How romantic!!! I'm having a relationship prblem at the time also, but thats another story. Plus I'm here to help you with your problems, not mine.
Well first of all, your almost nineteen i guess. That means that you are an adult, not some little teenager that your family can push around. You make your choices not other people making them for you. If you realy love him go all for it and all over it. But if you question your relationship more than a few times, than that means that you really need to talk to your bf about how your going to work things out. If it does not work out don't feel bad, every experince counts, life is a great ballincing act, every little thing can lead to who you become and where you are at in the futture. Thats whar the saying comes from, "look before you leap". Good luck and tell me how it goes.
P.S. Things take time, so if it dosn't go as fast as you would like it, just be patcient, it will all come together in the end. :)
2007-11-09 05:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lonsome Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only say that you put an exclamation point of your decision by alienating yourself from your family. Is any man worth losing your family over? You say this is your first serious relationship. That normally means others will follow. Moving in with this guy was the wrong move. You should have just told mom and dad that you understand their concern. Tell them you want to explore the relationship further. And if they wanted you to move out for seeing him, you should have moved into your own place. It is unlikely this man will be a part of your life in the long run anyway. He is now a 30ish guy feeling good about having a 20 yr old gf. The likelihood of him becoming your husband and staying your husband is nil to none. You blew it! And at the expense of your family. My advice: dump the guy! Not because your family doesn't like him but because he didn't try to talk you out of ruining your family relationship. He isn't much of a man.
2007-11-09 05:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by Enlightened One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See what it's like in their point of view. I, personly, think that dating a guy 12 years older than you is wrong. But it's what you feel in your heart that matters. make sure that this guy is the one because if you have a problem with your family when you break up with your bf, it will not be a happy site. Talk to your family about what you think and what they should think too. If you guys can do nothing by row with each other, than you need a counslor to help you. Your family is only thing the best for you. they love you and that's all you have to remember. Family last forever, not bfs.
2007-11-09 05:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, have they really gotten the chance to meet your bf? Part of the problem might be that they don't know what he's like and are afraid of what he'll do to/with you. Try inviting your family out to dinner or something so they can actually get to know him. If they already do know him and they still don't like him, then you probably aren't going to be able to reconcile with your parents/family until you two are no longer seeing each other. In they're minds, they are only thinking of what's best for you though.
2007-11-09 05:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that your parents love you and want the very best for you. 18 is quite young, and besides you were at the peek of your life! Maybe they saw college in your future! The fact that you moved out in my opinion was good. What you were doing was disrespecting their rules and request while you lived there. They wanted you to end the relationship. You sneaked around despite. Give it time. Your family is feeling hurt and disappointed at the path you chose. I think the best bet is to occasionally call them and give it time. If they did not love you it would not be as hard as it is for you. Good luck.
2007-11-09 05:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by ~Secretrose~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is right. He is way too old for you. Most 30 year olds don't look for 18 years olds unless they just want to take advantage of her. However, if you guys are for real, give your family some time and they will see it. They are your family, they will not turn away from you. And if you are truly happy, they will turn around. That is...if you are really happy. Are you? By the way, get yourself on birth control. Don't get yourself pregnant. It's easy, you are 18, just contact plant parenthood.
2007-11-09 05:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your parents THAT conservative? Have you tried to introduce you bf to your parents and allow them to 'interview' him and find out exactly what a nice person her is. Or perhaps they've already done that and drawn their own conclusion.
Maybe you should discuss it more openly with them, try to understand their points of view and ask them to listen to yours as well as your boyfriend's. Keep your mind open and try to give better explanations than "I love him and that's my business."
There are many aspects of your relationship you have to consider in order to make it last. That's probably what your parents are trying to tell you.
2007-11-09 05:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is rowing?? You are an adult. If your parents do not like the life you have chosen that is there problem. it sounds to me they are just worried that your BF may try to control you since he is so much older than you.
2007-11-09 05:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by drdennie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES if ur from the uk write to the jerremy kyle show 9-25 am weekdays with ur story he will get u all on and sort it.and u get put up in ahotel free.
2007-11-09 06:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by fozz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋