I will try to keep this brief...I disassociated myself several years ago. My husband was raised as a JW but was never baptised. We have a 9 year old daughter. Both of our families are JW and my husbands family would like to get together for a family portrait since they have never had one done with all of us together. Everyone is included, except me. Naturally, as a gut reaction, my husband refused for he and our daughter to be there since I was not included. My question is would this be a mandatory exclusion of me from the picture, or is this a conscience matter? I understand them not associating with me and we don't, but just standing there in a picture, is that forbidden as well? Would my in-laws be in trouble with the congregation if they did have me in the picture? Only serious answers please!
2007-11-09 04:52:57 · 20 answers · asked by Elphaba 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think you and your husband and your daughter should just go and get a family pic right away and ship them around.
And of course you could take the high ground and insist that he goes and joins in but what would he wear but a shirt that says: "I have the world' Greatest Wife".
2007-11-09 10:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by troll to troll 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
That's really rotten but oh, so, A-typical.
I don't believe the WT has ever come right out and said that such a thing cannot take place, but some families are much more dogmatic about such things than others are. Some families, would not even want your husband in it because, being raised in it, they still consider him to have left "the truth" and they would not view him any differently than you. After all, how can they proudly display the family portrait and then have their JW friends over who will want to know who you are? Bravo to your husband for doing the right thing! You are joined as one flesh and his place is with you, not with his family any longer. Even the JWs believe that.
2007-11-10 07:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by Simon Peter 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You disassociated yourself, you have a husband and a daughter. By what you say, your disassociation cannot be because of anything immoral. You have a husband and daughter and no mention of a bad marriage. They (the JW's here) are trying to shift that blame to you by hinting of immorality! They should apologize for their crassness. It seems as though they teach alot about love and yet they don't know nothing about it. They don't know how to show love. Jesus said "If you have not love, its because you don't know the Father of Love." That is outright cruel of your in-laws. Sometimes I wonder about some Christian people that act UnChristian like. Blessings of love upon you, your husband, and your daughter.
2007-11-09 07:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't know the answer to your question, but I just had to extend a hug to you also. Your question brought tears to my eyes. I know that Amish also have this same situation and is even worse for them because of the isolated communities in which they live.
Edited
I just read papa's answer - as much as I could stomach - and I couldn't believe that the blame is all put onto the "unbeliever" as though the ones doing the shunning have no responsibility for it and are the ones we should feel sorry for.
2007-11-09 07:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by browneyedgirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not a mandatory exclusion. While congregation members do not seek out spiritual association with ones who have decided not to serve Jehovah alongside them anymore, family members decide for themselves how much association they have with disfellowshipped/ disassociated relatives.
Only your family can tell you why you were not invited.
2007-11-09 10:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is really no written policy in regard to your situation.
However, I can tell you that if your in-laws did take the picture with you and someone from their congregation saw it, they would be looked down upon.
I am currently a Jehovah's Witness and I know many people who go to great lengths to avoid their disfellowshipped/disassociated family members. But, I also know others who do not stop ALL association with their family members when they are disfellowshipped.
I do not see anything wrong with taking a picture.
2007-11-09 05:30:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 7⤊ 3⤋
I am so Pissed, that I can not respond to your question!
As surprised as I am, it surprises me that I am surprised..
I am so sorry that they treat you like cr@p. I wish I could fix the great hurt that they cause to families every day. (((hugs)))
You can come and take a family portrait with my family...
I agree with your husband..No Picture of any of your family, if they will not include you. How are you going to explain your exclusion to your kid? Do not allow yourself to be abused.
I love trolls T shirt answer!....How about I Love my wonderful Wife because she had the Balls to leave a mind controlling CULT!
EDIT: Papa's answer,is not his answer, but your usual cut and paste answer from a Watchtower magazine..Same with Heiss...No more proof is needed to show that these people have given their minds over.
2007-11-09 13:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 2⤋
"My question is would this be a mandatory exclusion of me from the picture.."
No.
"just standing there in a picture, is that forbidden as well?"
Also no.
"Would my in-laws be in trouble with the congregation if they did have me in the picture?
No yet again.
2007-11-09 10:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by NMB 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I'm truly sorry for your situation. This would be analogous to my evangelical Christian extended family feeling compelled to exclude me on the basis that, by conversion to Catholicism, I had disassociated myself from them. Not a single one of them would even think of it, and if their "elders" told them otherwise they'd be up and out of there in a red hot minute. No disrespect intended but this makes absolutely no sense to me on any level. May God grant you peace, dear one.
2007-11-09 14:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Bravo to your loving husband, for standing with you -- as he should!
You are part of the family and SHOULD be included in any family portrait.
His family is just being mean and excluding you -- but fortunately for you your husband sees right through this and is putting his foot down.
2007-11-09 05:09:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋