i want to move from the town i live in to the city. my fiance has postponed it several times... but there is nothing keeping him here(we have custody of his kids and all). Work sucks out here (i can't get one) and everything is 20 miles away. We spoke about it but he want s to wait until after the wedding (in june). i have no friends or family here and either does he.... i ran out of ideas...
2007-11-09 04:34:52 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i'm happy and i love him and he makes enough money for the 4 of us and some... it's depressing out here i live in the mmiddle of nowhere...
2007-11-09 04:38:58 · update #1
in response to billy m... i already bought him a new tv to accompany his 62" i bought him for the living room.... tv will not make him budge.... the city i want to move to is miami... we go there like every weekend to visit my family and our friends...
2007-11-09 04:44:39 · update #2
Buy him a 42" plasma TV & subscribe to the football on Sky and buy a big food centre; full of Stella.
That should settle your fiance's problem......with reference to your problem........shut your mouth and stop yakking!!!!!
2007-11-09 04:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't work this out with your fiance now maybe you should call off that June wedding, not out of spite but as a precaution.
There's a reason why he's postponed moving to the city and if he can't do it now he's not going to do it later. And once you start putting roots down where you are, moving becomes more of a difficult and remote possibility.
I don't think laying down the law would help but you have to make it clear that you are miserable in country. And you have to find if he can (or why he can't) live in the city. You just might have impasse that you can't either live with or solve.
2007-11-09 04:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by brianjames04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One aspect of a healthy relationship is a willingness to compromise. Sounds like your fiance is willing to move, just not immediately. Don't be unreasonable.
In the meantime, check out the job market and the housing market in the city. Find out what you both want in the way of a home--land, square footage, amenities, location, etc. My husband and I saw dozens of homes before we knew what each of our preferences were.
Use the time between now and June to save for a down payment and to get smart about these life choices you are making. Your marital happiness could depend upon it.
2007-11-09 04:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if testing the waters elsewhere is more important to you than keeping your fiance. But if you are serious about moving, and you seem to be, try to find work there first. See if you can get a job in the city you want to live in and then before accepting the job, run it past your fiance again. Or tell him you're job hunting in the city and if you get a job, would he consider moving then. Good luck.
2007-11-09 04:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by YAH IS GOD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and your fiance have a lot going on. You have two children living with you to consider as well. Moving now would mean changing schools for them mid-year. There is also the wedding to figure in. Weddings and moves are very big changes in the lives of children. It is good to space things like that out to make smooth transitions. If you are marrying a man with children you will be their mother figure and need to take them into consideration.
2007-11-09 05:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by Terry2fish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to help you with this problem, when I don't know why he doesn't want to move. From what your paragraph says, the only reason I can come up for him wanting to stay is that he has a really good job.
The two of you need to sit down and really talk about it. Let him know how very unhappy you are living there. See if he has good, legitimate excuses for wanting to post pone. If he doesn't, confront him about it.
I suggest the two of you decide on an actual date to move. It will require both of you compromising then both of you have to agree to stick to that date no matter what.
Good Luck!
2007-11-09 04:58:41 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of Pros and Cons for each possibility. Sit down actually get them in writing. Once he can actually see the benefits of moving, compared with all the negatives of staying where you are, he'll most likely be more willing to go for it.
Also, spend a day in the city that you plan on moving to. Plan some fun activites, maybe go look at some apartments or houses that you might want to move to. Making it more of a reality can ease any fears he might have, as well as making him more excited to move.
2007-11-09 04:41:19 · answer #7 · answered by LMN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's getting cold feet about committing and is using this as a lever to make you give him an excuse to split. , maybe he just doesn't like the city and doesn't know how to tell you ... you guys need to talk , not issue ultimatums. Most guys would rather walk than talk -- don'f force it, have a nice time and work the conversation around to it gently, you're more likely to find out his true feelings.
It isn't fair to either of you to make a major decision without that
2007-11-09 04:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by onecowboyjake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this decision is one you guys need to make together. He cant just put his foot down and say this is not the way its going to be i want to waite till the wedding. You both need to be happy in this decision. It is a big decision where you live. and one that shouldnt be made lightly. He needs to stop disregarding your concerns and try to find a middle ground. No you shouldnt let him make all the decisions and no you shouldnt make all of them either. All your decisions need to be made together and not apart. and both of you taking into consideration how the other one feels. if you guys cant agree on where to live now what are you looking forward to in your marriage....the first step of marriage is communication work on it now so later it wont be so hard
2007-11-09 04:40:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is his reason for wanting to wait? could he have a valid point? Are his kids in school and maybe he doesn't want to take them out in the middle of the school year? If you have answers to the questions, and you feel he is being unreasonable, you should talk to him and figure things out. I wouldn't say lay down the law...you don't want to be too demanding. There has to be something keeping him there.
2007-11-09 04:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him with organized thoughts. Tell him June is a long time away. You don't know what could happen until then..no point in wasting life away in the meantime. You could have a better time if you made a better decision, sooner.
2007-11-09 04:40:40 · answer #11 · answered by showmelight17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋