How do we talk to kids about SEX?

Answer 1

I just had to do this. OMG its hard to talk to your kid about sex. I was honest with him ,didnt go into details. I told him he was too young to have sex but I wanted to answer any questions before someone at school did because they wouldnt know what they were talking about. I told him important love was and he should wait for a very long time lol

Answer 2

The advice of Bertrand Russell is very applicable here.
He said [loosely paraphrased] that regarding matters of sex, one should simply state the facts in a serious matter of fact tone, without distorting the naturalness and goodness of human sexuality by giving the child the impression that sex is something dirty, or naughty or digusting. Just make sex what it is. It is Nature's way of reproduction for humans. [She has at least 30 other strategies that exist for reproduction among other species.] Russell said "There are some things I would not tell a child, but I'd sooner tell them anything than a lie!"

When you tell a child about sex and the child can see that you have a sane healthy attitude about it, the attitude will pass on to the child and the child will see it as a natural part of growing up. If you feel the child's head with BS about sex being dirty and sinful and painful or other lies, then you risk destroying the child for the rest of his or her life.

A great deal of mental health is based on our attitudes towards sex and our sexual development and understanding from childhood to adolescence to maturity which is usually set by the age of five according to psychologists. If you have warped the child's mind before this time with lies and superstitions and guilt-tripping, you rob the child of his or her own right to a normal healthy sexuality free of guilt and stupidity, and such a child will suffer greatly in life, in dating, in relationships and in marriage.

The bottom line is real simple. Tell the truth, state the facts, none of this crap about birds and bees BS, answer their questions, but you don't have to go beyond what they want to know at the time. The question "How are babies made and end up in Mommy's Tummy?" does not require as an answer a detailed report on Gays, Lesbians, the Fetish community, Swingers Clubs, Strip Clubs, Bondage and Disciple and all that stuff which they'll learn soon enough.

But better to get the facts from a sensible adult than get this information from other children who are as ignorant as they are. And for God's sake, if little Tommy and Susie the girl next door are monkeying around and playing Doctor, it's not time to get ballistic and act like they committed some unpardonable sin worthy of eternal damnation or 10 years hard labor in the State Penitentiary! Capisce?

You would not want a superstitious puritanical person whose mind is darkened with guilt and ignorance teaching your child sex, would you? Bottom line: tell them the truth about what they want to know. Odds are if you have pets, they already have a good idea of the mechanics anyway. Nor should you tell children lies that sex only happens between married people. It does not. That would be a lie.

Answer 3

The best way is a face to face in a quiet private place. Prepare your speech ahead of time and make it a speech and not a question and answer session. After your speech ask your kid if they have any questions.

Your speech can be something like:
I know you took a health class and learned the mechanics of sex and the risks of having unprotected sex. I want to let you know that in our family we don't condone sex until you are 18 years of age. If, however, you break the rules, you could be looking at 18 years of child support and/or a lifetime of a serious STD. In our family, we wait until we have dated someone for at least 1 year and we wait until we know we are in love with that person. Sex is not a game, it is a huge adult responsibility. There are repercussions to sex, even protected sex. It is important that you consider it seriously and take it seriously. Just like driving, if you don't know what you are doing you could cause serious harm to yourself and others.

BUT, sex is also the greatest gift you can give your partner if you are truly in love and your partner is truly in love with you.

Blah Blah Blah... do you have any questions?

Answer 4

Depending on the age of the kid you have to be careful about how far you take it. I was upfront and honest with my daughter when she asked where babies came from at the age of 9. My son was a different story. He asked this past year and I didn't go into great detail about things, but I gently explained his own sex and then a females sex. I didn't go into what happens and how a baby is actually created because I didn't want him going to school and giving an informative speech to his friends when they aren't ready to hear it.

Just stress the importance of being comfortable enough to come to you with questions and be ready to answer.

Answer 5

I've found that in most cases it needs to be done around 10 years old because that is when they will have friends who are getting curious and they are talking about it together. It can be a little sooner or a little later. The best way to start is by explaining how babies are made in a factual scientific way.

Answer 6

Start with the basics. Anatomical differences between men and women, for example. Then move on to what those anatomical differences mean, why they exist, and what the reproductive process is. There are also books that can help you through the process. I posted a link to an Amazon search for you to browse through. You can even give them a book to read and then let them ask you questions later.

PS....Start young. My best friend's daughter started having sex a few months ago....she's 12.

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&index=books&field-keywords=Sex+education&page=1

Answer 7

Usually we don speak to kids about sex but kids ask what is this or what is that and throw those question they get sort of idea which later on find it out.

Answer 8

This is simple, u should do it straight up and to the point, my parents never talked to me about it and the risks involved with it and know i have a kid at the age of 18

Answer 9

There is no set rule, It all depends of the child's maturity, age, cultural background and things like that.

This days even if you dont do it the whole whorld will conspire to teach Ur child to inform them about sex. I guess just follow your heart and introduce the topic when u feel the child is ready.

Answer 10

Be honest with them. But only give them the information they can understand, based on their age. As you continue to talk about sex over the years, you can increase the amount of detail you use.