is this child abuse? is child protection needed?

Question

I know this women that has two children, ages 3 and 2. They are always dirty and stink. The oldest is showing signs of autism and the mother won't take the child to the doctor for testing. In fact neither child has ever even been to the doctor. The women is trying to get pregnant again and she doesn't seem to be taking care of the children she has. I know they are spanked hard when they do something bad, they are always yelled at. They are left in dark rooms alone for hours, and made to sit still in highchairs. The oldest doesn't talk, doesn't play with other children, and when is asked to bring a toy or something the child looks at you like she doesn't understand what is being said.. I know things in this home are bad, but is it bad enough to turn them in? Is turning them in right, or should I just wait longer and see if things change? I think this women maybe be out of control. She hit her mother when she was a teen, and was put in the hospital for drugs and cutting herself.

She is my sister. I have told her to take the oldest to the doctor, she isn't speaking to me now. My parents are the ones keeping me from turning her in. my sisters husband is there. He is worse than she is, but I can easily say that, I can't stand him

Thank you so much everyone! I just wanted to hear from strangers that it is the right thing to do. I am so close to this family, so it really hurts. I just want the very best for these children, and I want to be sure I am doing the right thing by them. God bless you all!

Answer 1

I think you should call for child protection. This woman is out of control. She's had her entire life to change and it doesn't seem she's wanted to. You'll be helping both of those kids out a great deal. You could be the one to make a life impacting change in their life.

Answer 2

First off- no one can keep you from calling CPS. It just isn't possible... you have free will. Second- CALL. Neglect is just as harmful to a child as any other type of abuse. The important part is getting the children (and mother) the kind of help they need. Could you live with yourself if something happened to one of the kids? Probably not... so call and report it. Sounds like mom has some mental health issues that need some work... getting into the CPS system will protect the kids, and get the mom into the mental health system as well. These kids are far too young to defend themselves, so you have to be their advocate. Stand up for them.

Answer 3

Turn her in, and often. Sometimes it takes many calls from many people to get something done! Turn her in! Puts her children in dark rooms, they don't talk! My cousin had a baby with a woman and she took off for 3 years. Now that we have him back, it will take years to erase the abuse if ever! At 3 he didn't know how to eat at a table, because he had never been served a meal! He ate out of the fridge anything he could find! His body is scarred from all the cigarette burns, and he could probably show you how to smoke a crack pipe! NO ONE ever turned her in. Everyone knew, including her parents, but no one would turn her in! You know about, turn her in daily until something is done! I am so lucky my cousins boy is still alive! She almost killed him the last time she beat him!

Answer 4

These children are your family, you are their aunt. Shame on your parents for not stepping in and putting a stop to this abuse. Yes, neglect is abuse, and that seems to be the case here. Call and have them investigated- you can remain anonymous! If you still have feelings of guilt, think of it this way- The government will make sure that these children are taken to the Dr, fed and bathed regularly, and generally cared for, which is more than I can say for your pathetic sister. Maybe this will snap her out of her stupor.

Answer 5

1-800-252-5400 is the number for Child Protective Services. Another number for them is 1-800-422-4453. You can remain anonymous. Do it now and don't tell anyone you did it. You will be that angel that saved those babies. Prayerfully there is family that's not crazy that will take them in until mom can get herself together. CPS will investigate immediately with the police and remove the children from the home. If there is no one in the family that can take them, they will go to foster care. CPS will tell mom what she needs to do to get her kids back. Good Luck and you are doing the right thing.

Answer 6

If you are EVER concerned that there is child abuse/neglect you should call child protective services. Some people (day care workers, teachers, scout leaders, clergy, etc) who have jobs with children can be criminally charged if there is abuse that they suspect but don't report. I don't know if you fall into that category, but how would you feel if you suspected that something awful is going on and didn't report it and then one of those children died.

Report it. Now.


Added: If your whole family ends up mad at you, but you save the lives of these two wonderful children, what does it matter. If you have tried helping her, and she refuses help, she needs a wakeup call. Please, if you don't call CPS, call your pastor, preacher, or other clergy member. Please let someone know what is going on in that house. Your family will get over it once the children are in a better situation. You never know, it may be just what she needs to change her life situation.

Answer 7

sadly enough, once CPS is in the picture it is hard to get them out. as a parent i hate to suggest it but it seems like ur hands are tied. those kids deserve opportunities to become something in this life and the tragedies they are enduring will affect them for the rest of their life. your sister needs a reality check and unfortunately sooner rather than later as she is trying to get pregnant. I'm so sorry for you but be a good aunt and person. make the call. anonymously and if ur parents come down on u if they find out it was you, turn it around on them. why wouldn't they as grandparents do the same for those they love? ur in between a rock and a hard place but i would remember this saying: Sometimes doing the right thing means you're standing alone!!

Answer 8

If you have a concern that you think is valid, why wait for her to harm or even "accidentally" kill her children with neglect? Calling CPS would only give you some piece of mind and if there is really no evidence of abuse CPS will come in, investigate and then leave her alone. But it does sound like there is a lot of neglect in this situation. Women like this make me wish that governments could mandate sterilization!

Answer 9

Children look to us for protection when they can't protect themselves. I can't imagine what you must be going through knowing what is going on or what those poor children are going through when the most important person in their lives treats them so badly. It is up to you to do what is right for those children. If you truly think that they are being abused and if all that you say is true about the situation I would call and get help for those children. They need someone to care for them. Mabey the mother needs help herself and you might just be what that family was waiting for. Someone needs to rescue them before it is to late. It would be a horrible shame if something worse than a bruise happened all because you waited to long. Don't wait until it is to late. I will be praying for you and I hope that your heart leads you into doing what is right. God Bless.

Answer 10

Yes, this is child abuse, you must call child protective services.

These children are better with you or foster parents than your crazy sister.

You have every right to get custody of those two children( If you want to).

If you don't call CPS you then these kids will slip through the cracks of the system