So I asked all my girls to be in the wedding and they all said yes. They have all been supportive and helpful, but I have one that has disagreed with everything. I have been very upset all month arguing and saying sorry to the others girls for her behavior.
First straw she would not let my have the shower where my mom wanted because she was going to have her wedding reception there(it got called off). That hurt, all the other girls loved it. In my town there is only like 5 places. Ok we will get through this.
Second straw. She sent out nasty e-mails saying this is the final decision. Not one girl was informed about it these plans. Then all the girls were planning the bacherlotte. They decided on something. She wanted a limo that was really expensive when we could do the bacherlotte for cheaper. We decided we wanted to go the winieries but she said I don't like wine I don't wanna go. She has been making everyone in the wedding party really upset.
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2007-11-09 02:31:50 · 27 answers · asked by Kelsy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I feel bad for my friend but at this time in her life I don't want her planning MY wedding and making all my friends upset and doing things that she wants. The last straw she said, "you know that all these girls in your bridal party are miserable people", that is when I had enough. One is my future sister-in-law damn. How do you talk about people you don't even know like that?
2007-11-09 02:32:59 · update #1
Know she doesn't think she is wrong? She took herself out of the wedding but now asking howe much she has to pay? Should I have her as just a bridemaid and not involved with anything else?
2007-11-09 02:33:46 · update #2
She called me today acting like she was in it how much money does she need??
2007-11-09 03:08:54 · update #3
Geesh! I had a similar experience when I was planning my Wedding. One of my best girlfriends, that I had asked to be my Maid of Honor, accepted and all were happy. As time went on, like 2-3 months later, and planning of my Shower, etc., she all of a sudden decides NOT to
be in my Wedding. Wouldn't explain at all! I felt sooo depressed and hurt. Finally, a week later, she sends me a letter, telling me, she felt as if she wasn't being included in anything with the planning and said she felt like she was an outsider. So, I wrote her back, and thanked her for her message. Told her that she really hurt my feelings, and that I hadn't left her out of anything; I told her, that it's my Wedding and I didn't want anyone dictating to me how to plan it, or where to get my Gown, etc. She also said in her letter, that I was spending more time with my Fiance' vs. her! I couldn't believe it! Told her, "well, I am marrying him soon, and I thought that was the normal thing for Engaged Couples to do, spend time with each other. Final outcome, was she WASN'T in my Wedding. Didn't want anyone to make my Special Day not Special. Hope some of this is helpful to you.
2007-11-11 03:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by singsalot51 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well first off sorry for the situation you are in. That must be terrible, but I can somewhat understand because a good friend of mine just got married and she was having trouble with her bridal party too.
The MOH didn't like one of the bridesmaids and kept saying she shouldn't be in the wedding....my friends took the complaining in stride for a few months but finally she blew up and said "LISTEN...this is my wedding and you are both important to me...you have a problem with it...then you can step down as my MOH and not be in the wedding".
Apparently that was the end of that...the MOH apoligized for trying to control her wedding and things went pleasently at the wedding...well except for a little thing with the bouquet toss when both girl grabed it...but it wasn't that bad. lol
So I suggest you do the same.... LISTEN...this is my wedding...and I don't appreciate you going against what everyone says, and speaking on my future sister-in-law ans friends that way. If she can't suck it up...then tell her to make a decision...she can either be in the wedding and be suportive and pleasent...or be a guest.
Good luck...I hope it all works out!
2007-11-09 10:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I wouldn't have her in the wedding. She sounds like she's adding too much drama to a day that is supposed to be wonderful. If you keep her in I would worry that she'll stress you and the other girls out the day of the wedding. This is supposed to be your special day, not hers and if she has a problem with it too damned bad. Get rid of her in the wedding party but invite her to the wedding. I'm assuming you had her in it because she's a friend, but I'm sorry, friends do not act like this at such a special time in your life, even if their own relationship has gone astray. She should be happy for you and be as helpful as possible, but instead she's being pety and spiteful. Tell her how you feel and that she can either start acting like a good friend and stay in the wedding party or she can remain a guest.
2007-11-09 10:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by Marra's mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is confused about whose wedding it is. You need to sit her down and talk to her, tell her if she doesn't want to be in the wedding she doesn't have to. Tell her that she is not being much help by disagreeing with the other bridesmaids and overriding your mom. This is YOUR day and she should be there for you. If all else fails and you would still like this girl as a friend, I would say just let her still be in the wedding, but give her no responsibility, have no one ask her opinion. She would just be a body standing up there with you on your wedding day. Good Luck
2007-11-10 03:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by sden2616 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
New twist on Bridezilla - now it's bridesmaidzilla.
You're in charge darling. I suggest that you (and all involved) speak with Samantha (in a public place so she will be less likely to cause a scene) and as gently as possible, relieve her of the entire bridesmaid responsibility. Don't mention paying for anything - you will have to absorb those costs - small price to pay for peace, believe me. Just tell her that while you appreciate her enthusiasm, the stress in her life (I guess from breaking up with her fiance) is obviously making her "not her usual happy self" these days - and that it would be better for everyone if she were to concentrate on her personal needs rather than those of others at this point.
There's no way to NOT hurt her feelings. Trust me this may cost you a friend - but in truth, she's not being a good friend anyway so what have you really lost but a drama queen?
I would also consider the entire group - your mom, other Bridesmaids, etc. attend this meeting so Samantha won't be able to go behind your back with mean-spirited words. Everyone involved will have been there to see precisely what went on.
She'll cry. She'll argue. She'll plead. She'll apologize. She'll beg. She'll get nasty and angry and hurt.
Stick to your guns. "Samantha, I know this puts a real strain on our friendship - but this is really better for everyone. You know this as well as everyone else. But truly I thank you for everything and I wish you the best..."
Then call for the check and everyone get up to be excused.
so have one less bridesmaid. You'll also have a lot more peace and a lot less drama.
But remember, you will have lost Samantha as a friend. But again, what kind of friend would behave so badly in the first place?
2007-11-09 11:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her. Let her know that you understand that she is going through a difficult time in her life but that her attitude is making everyone else in the wedding party upset, including you. If she argues with you then tell her that you think it would be better if she isn't in the wedding party. Just be prepared that she might skip the wedding all together if you do this. Hopefully she will see that her misery is wrecking it for everyone else and improve her demeanor. If not then it is much better to get her out of the wedding party than to let her ruin your wedding.
2007-11-09 10:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that this is a really hard time for her and where she has not right to plan your wedding, she really is suffering from her previous engagement. I think that you should sit down with her and talk her about the situation and the way she is making your other girls feel and that this is your wedding and not hers, tell her your sorry about hers but you want everything the way you want it and she needs to work as a team. She is your friend and you'll regret not having her in the wedding try and make it work.
2007-11-09 10:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. I had a mother-in-law that caused problems during my wedding planning. I'll advise you just to tell her - never-mind I don't want you in my wedding. Because you can't imagine what she'll do and say to you and everyone else the day before and the day of your wedding! I don't care whose feelings are hurt - this is ONE day and it will go by so fast that you'll barely have time to enjoy it. The drama she is causing will cause you to lose sleep, cry, worry, explain to everyone about her narcissism 5 million times, and not concentrate on what's IMPORTANT which is enjoying your day. Trust me girlie - this little girl is not going to be your friend much longer. You'll cut her off eventually one way or another until she grows up. I was just married on Nov. 3 so trust me on this! Cut her off - if you already have the guys chosen I'm sure one will be happy to stand down as most guys don't like responsibility they just want to have fun! Talk to your fiance - i'm sure he won't mind. Good luck - and have fun!
2007-11-09 10:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by *Photo-op* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She took herself out of the wedding? If she did, let her stay out of it. She's nothing but trouble and I'm sorry, she doesn't sound like a good friend for being such a pain in the *** during such a special (and stressful) time in your life. I would tell her (if she's still in your wedding) that it seems like she's not happy with any of the decisions that the bridesmaids are making that your Maid of Honor has your blessing to make all the decisions. If she doesn't like it, tell her she can gracefully bow out and you'd be happy to just have her as a guest. . This is YOUR wedding, not hers, and she needs to understand that she needs to put her selfishness aside. I don't know how your bridesmaids react to her, but shame on them for not saying to her that it's not about her when she disagrees with plans. If they have tried, then someone needs to step in and lay down the law....and that someone is you.
2007-11-09 10:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by L.A. Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For what I just read I wouldn't want her as a bridesmaid.You don't seem to understand this is your wedding!! Girl your going to be married and it only happens once.I mean your first wedding only happens once.Plus hopefully the only time. The next time she says she doesn't want you to do something or she doesn't want to do it.I would politely tell her that if she doesn't want to do this then that's fine with u. That you can do without her planning of the wedding and it would probably be best that she wasn't in the wedding.You want this wedding to be as perfect as it can be. You also don't want extra stress. So congrats on your marriage and use tough love.
2007-11-09 10:43:46 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋