Since his teen years our relationship heas been difficult, marked by conflicts. He didn't wasnt to follow my rules and for several times I had to be hard on him. This created resentment that persists today.
He's an engineer, still single, doing great in his life,. But he' s not trustworthy, doesn't listen to me. I don't feel I can trust him. When he says he'll do something he keeps his word, but when I want him to do something I wasnt I'm not sure he'll agree. For several times I told him to act as I wanted and he just said no,
Now, we are going through a family problem and it's important he does as I'll tell him. I also have a daughter and I can trust she'll follow what I say, I'm sure she will. But I can't trust he will. If he agrees to, I know he will, but he may just say I don't agree and I'm almost sure he won't actually agree.
This is not right, I'm his father, he should always do as I tell him and be trustworthy.
.,
2007-11-09 01:24:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Look, I have three sons who are grown. I do not think for my adult sons. I have done all I could to give them a sense of morality, honesty, belief in God. All the basics that you want to pass down to your children. But when they are adults you must respect that they can think for themselves. Your job is over. Your son sounds like a wonderful responsible young man! I would be proud of him if I were you! He respects you but he can think for himself. You must have done something right! If he is not doing something illegal and has given you no reason to think he is untrustworthy, I would leave the guy alone and try to show him how proud of him I was!
May the Lord bless you and your children!
2007-11-09 02:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your son is just being an adult and learning to make decisions on his own. Is that not what you want, for him to beable to act responsiblity and mature? Seems like your using the word "trustworthy" in the wrong context. Because he don't agree with you and you can't control him does not make him dishonest. Yes, you are his father but he is an adult and he have the right to make his own decisions and find his way. Let go of the controlling character and become more supportive by listening to him and offering suggestions. This will help him to come to you for advice and guidance easier.
2007-11-09 10:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by Single123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For someone to not do as you want is not the same at all as not being trustworthy. He's not compliant. He's not amenable to persuasion. But he sounds trustworthy, by your own account of his character. You really are misusing the concept and word "trustworthy". I think you mean he's not a compromiser, or not a team player. And if he's 25, that's fully his right. Perhaps you are too demanding.
2007-11-09 09:30:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Vincent Van Jessup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try being nice. He's not compliant. He is however trustworthy. Those are different. Maybe you too should work on your relationship. Because your not going to get very far with such a negative precetion of your son. Just a thought.
2007-11-09 09:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you cannot MAKE your son trustworthy. If he says one thing and does something else, that is his choice and he is blatantly telling you that you cannot trust him
He's an adult now. He makes his own decisions with or without listening to you and there's nothing you can do about it except cut him out of things that have to be done regardless. I'm not saying to cut him out of your family, but if you need someone to help out and do as they are asked, then stick with your daughter and leave your son out of it. He doesn't want you to trust him. Sorry, man.
2007-11-09 09:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but your son is an adult now. You need to let him live his own life. You said that you told him how to act as you wanted and he just said no. I don't blame him. You're trying to control an adult. Once you start treating your son with the respect he deserves as an adult, then I guarantee your relationship will improve with him.
2007-11-09 10:04:53 · answer #6 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have raised a fine son. He is 25 years old and stands up for what he believes in. Its OK for him to disagree and go his own way, as long as he is not harming anyone.
2007-11-09 09:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by misselie1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loosen your grip there lord Vader , sounds like your not talking about trustworthiness but rather obedience , he is not a puppy dog any more .
2007-11-09 09:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by Godzilla Gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult, he doesn't need you to tell him what to do. Good for him for standing up and making his own decisions. Do you still do what everyone else tells you to do???
2007-11-09 09:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u seem to be pushing him a lot. I'll advise u to relax a bit n let him relax too
2007-11-09 09:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Atieno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋