How do you stop a destructive cycle?

Question

Have you ever been in a situation where someone thinks of you a certain way because of an argument you had with him in the past, but it doesn't really reflect who you are? How do you get him to see the way things really are. If he continues to think negative thoughts of you "from experience," then what can you do to change his mind? For example, whenever my boyfriend wants me to do a certain exercise we get in an argument because I do not want to do it. Now he thinks that I'm a quitter and complainer, but it was just that one exercise that really got my goat.

Answer 1

hi.it sounds like your b/f is a bit of a control freak,if you dont like or dont want to do something why should you just because he says so?Tell him you are not doing the excercise and if he doesnt like it then tough,just because you have a problem with something it doesnt make you a quitter and i am sure you complain about it with good reason,maybe this excercise hurts you to do it does he think about that aspect ,no . i doubt it he is male .Stick to your guns hunni tell him to take a hike or do it twice if it means so much to him one for you one for him lol .maybe it is time to find a new b/;f .

Answer 2

Sounds like he's not respecting you as an individual. You need to decide to move on or put up with it.
I've been through situations like this throughout my whole life. Basically, you have problems setting boundaries and people walk all over you. You have to start standing up for yourself and cleaning house. If those in your life don't like it, you're better off without them.

Answer 3

let me show you 2 examples the first 1+1=1
the second stay on a circle and try to see from an other angle

Answer 4

You can't ever change anyone's mind - in fact, I will go a step further, to save you a lot of grief in the years to come - you can't change anyone else , period. You can only try to change yourself. In your case, like finding a new guy you can start fresh with.