She's there again?

Question

I feel real sorry for this kid, every time it's the hols she appears in our square (car park of block of flats) on her bike, alone, no friends or family I can see.

She speaks to the caretaker and I said hi to her yesterday (she's about 12, overweight, and quite obviously unhappy).

Poor little mite is (I think) dumped by busy parents on to granparents.

It's so sad.

Is there anything I could do, I'm a guy (married, no kids) to put a little sun into her life?

Yeah, the pervert/sicko bit crosses your mind, hence you stay away.

But for crying out loud, can a guy no longer show attention to a kid that is quite obviously crying out for attention?

This is a sad sad world, and will damage children more than you can think.

Answer 1

leave well alone, youll get ure self into trouble, and her family wat take kindly to u interfering with there child. if you are so concerned contact ure local social services and let them do the rest, mayb there already involved. just be carful.

Answer 2

Look, If your sincere, honest.

Then be a friend to the kid.

Here is how you do it though, watch your back, because in this day and age, you just don't trust people.

1. Always be seen in a public place with the kid.
2. NEVER ever, be alone with this kid.

We are talking about this, so it does not give off wrong appearances. Always stay in pub lic and hang out only when there are a lot of people, around never off to yourselves, because then you will be labelled a you know what.

This is also to protect yourself, because I don't care how nice the kid is, sometimes kids from bad homes, accuse innocent guys of stuff (very rarely, but it does happen), so for your own sake and your reputation always remain in public hanging out and with a lot of people around.

Now, let me tell you what this will do for the kid. She will have you for a friend, that makes her less likely to get bored or lonely and go hang out with the wrong person or crowd.

What to do for her?

Just be a brother to her. Talk to her, find out what she likes, her hobies, or what she is into.

then for example, if it horses. Buy her soemthing along those lines. Then use that to open waves of communication.

Hang out in the park (where there are plenty of people around) and go roller blading and bike riding or something. You can pick up some skates at the good will for a buck.

Just don't hang out at the movie theater where you will be sitting in the dark watching a movie and no one can see you to say, hey nothing went on. ALWAYS stay in the open and where there are a lot of people. For the sake of appearance and your reputation.

Answer 3

Absolutely ! Be sure your wife is always with you when you are around so that there are no "issues" later or in public (dont let her in your flat w/o your wife there and set that boundary earlier rather than later.) Once you get to know her maybe you can invite her to dinner w/ you and your wife (at home and after talking to her family). Does your wife have any special talents she can teach her like crafts or sewing or such. Maybe invite her on an evening walk w/ the dog or to an ice cream parlor. Tread lightly at first, be aware, but be involved. Sometimes, to kids, the little bits of attention mean the world and can make a huge difference in the life of a child. I can say this because I was a child welfare worker who knows first hand. Good luck and thanks for caring about the children in your nieghborhood.

Answer 4

I am glad to see that this bothers you because that is what gets Us to move and help people that are hurting like this little girl. First though talk to your wife about it, have her think about it and maybe she can come up with something. possibly look into neighborhood things like is there someplace for her to go and meet kids her age? her Grandparents might have no idea what is available for her. If you don't know of anything call the school and see if they could point you in the right direction. But have your wife do it or it could back fire on you. Good luck.

Answer 5

As sad as the story is, sometimes its hard for a man to approach a little girl alone some people may get the wrong impression, maybe if she is playing on her own and you have your kids out playing you could ask them if they want to ask her to play, you sound like an honest man but who know's in the society we live in today. also if she does want to play with your kids dont let her go your home with them without consulting her parents.

Answer 6

its a shame for her but that's life i'm afraid. i really think in this day and age you must be careful about befriending a young girl especially as you are single male, there could be all sorts of misunderstandings.
as long as the girl does not seem abused then i think you best leave her alone. you sound like a very caring person and maybe you will be able to put your caring nature into practise when you have your own family.

Answer 7

your right,people are narrow minded this day and age,but there are good reasons to be!i,m a young mother and i get very hurt and upset when i see youngsters alone when other children playing!i also work with children and have learn ed that a lot of children prefer their own company!just ask her where are her friends?find out if there is a play school in your area or any clubs,there usually isduring holidays!pick up a leaflet for her and suggest it!

Answer 8

Bless, its nice to know there are still kind and caring people like you out there.
I would suggest talking to her first- maybe get some background info. Its tricky these days though coz everyone is so paranoid about paedophiles etc. But you never know- maybe she just needs someone to care.

Well done on you Hun, that there is a quality you can definitely be proud of!

Answer 9

i think its great that your heart has feeling for a young child that obviously need someone. i think that if you should do something bring along your wife or a friend (preferably a female) and make sure its out in the open. it is a touchy situation and you have to be careful. perhaps a minster of the church. how about some flowers with a card. little girls likes flowers her face will surely light up. just make sure your wife or someone is with you. me and my husband do things like that when we see little children not so happy. like when we go to carnivals and win a lot of stuff animals when will walk up to some little kid and give it to them. their little faces just light up.
and it gives me such a warmth in my heart.

Answer 10

maybe u could talk to whoever is looking after hr and suggest they enroll her in a club or team with other kids to give her a chance! its terrible that for being caring and concerned that u would most likely be seen as a perv but unfortunately noone can afford to trust people they dont know (and in some cases ppl they do know)... maybe ask the girl who looks after her while she is around and go talk to them!
good luck
xx

Answer 11

there seems to be lots of kids like that around and it`s sad to see them but keep your distance as you could be classed as all sorts of names no matter how good your intentions are ther will always be someone to point a finger and classify you as perverted or some other kind of monster leave alone and let parents deal with it