Guys Rules!?

Question

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the Guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... These are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine; Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Answer 1

HEADLINES:A man was nearly beaten to death by his wife after showing her this list.After 3 hours in the hospital,he dies of a heart attack when his wife shows up.

By the way,funny,starred!

Answer 2

blah with all rules you've set.

HOWEVER...

IS THERE ANY RULE WHEN A MAN ROWS IN 2 BOATS ON FAR DISTANT TRANSATLANTIC AND EUROPEAN RIVERS!

ONE WHO KEEPS A RESERVE WOMAN FAR AWAY AND KEEPS ANOTHER IN ANOTHER CONTINENT!

what rule would you apply on that

MY GENERALIZATION:

MEN OF ANY AGE WHO HAS NO FAITHFUL HEART HAS ALWAYS A RESERVE OF A WOMAN ANYWHERE

MEN OF ANY AGE WHO HAS NOT LEARNED TO TRULY LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY WILL ALWAYS BE PASSING LIKE A BUS OR FLYING LIKE AN AIRCRAFT OVER THE CLOUDS and women as "cast away destinations" in any stage of his life

Querry: "Is there still an honest man who knows how to love with a true dove heart?"

Answer 3

Sad but funny! Ha Ha! 10!

Answer 4

this is so funny if a man did give this his wife it will be more than sleeping on the couch.

Answer 5

yes sunshine there are men like that but im taken sorry

Answer 6

this is os funny ha, Star 4u :)

Answer 7

yeah, that gets a star... women, get right or get left... hahahaha