I am having a horribly hard time letting go of my ex-girlfriend.?

Question

I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year and half. She and I live a few hours apart and only saw each other on weekends which made the relationship hard to begin with.

After about a year she told me that she had been cheating on me with another guy for about a month. Sex and all. I (being helplessly in love) forgave her as she cried in my arms saying sorry etc etc. Well a few more months go by and she ends up flirting and meeting some guy she plays an online game with on the internet. I got pissed off and she said that nothing happened and I reluctantly believed her. Recently there is another guy that she flirts with and talks with daily.

At this point I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her. But she still calls me and we have met and had sex since then. I am unable to leave her and still believe we can work out. I know that it's bad for me to stay but I am afraid of being alone I am in love and scared that I won't find another girl. I am bad at talking w/them.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. This is my first time using this deal here on yahoo and it's been a big relief to me, i wish i could reply but this is the only way I figured how.

I am going to take your advice. It may seem like common sense to those viewing from a third party standpoint, but being the one so emotionally attached it's really difficult.

*sigh* life sucks.

Answer 1

Bad break ups (particualy your first as you dont know how to cope) are so hard... And the truth is this is probably the most dificult thing you have had to deal with in life so far....

My first girlfriend, we were going out for that same amount of time, she didnt cheat on me but she did apparently fall in love with her best friend and sleep with him days after we broke up. I was so devistated and heartbroken and even though i was mad i felt i couldent stay away from her because she was all i had. She stoped calling me and i never saw her again, and it crushed my little teen heart.

The truth is though if she hadent stoped seeing me, i would have persisted, trying to be friends, trying to hold on to some hope, even though it was all gone. And that clean break, was the best thing for me.

Its obvious that you keep going back to her, you are not the person you used to be when you started the relationship. Am i right? You are more needy now, and feel you need her no matter what right? If this is how you are feeling (as i was too) its a sign that no matter how hurt and sad and needy you feel you must break it off with this girl. You need to rediscover who *you* are as a person, without her! You need to almost start your life over again, without her, and realize that she will no longer be a part of this. Do not let yourself call her see her anything. You need to heal yourself from the inside out, and just take some time to focus in on who you are and what your needs are outside of her.

I wish you all the luck in the world on your new journey of rediscovery and healing. Try not to think about never loving or trusting anyone again, because that all takes time. Just focus on healing yourself and becoming a better person and getting to know yourself better than you ever have before, and the rest will come in time. Please email me if you need to talk further, I remeber all too well how this feels and would be happy to help.

Love Alleshiea
x x x

([e-mail])

Answer 2

At the moment your girlfriend is deciding on your life.
You rely on her too much, which is very very natural when your in a deep relationship.
But she is playing you for a fool, she must also be a good actress.
It`s hard to break up but she will sap your confidence.
She has her cake and she`s eating it too.
Be strong babe, take the plunge and finish it for good.
It will hurt like hell. You will cry and miss her and want her back. But do it for you, you have to move on.
There`s so many more girls out there that love a guy who isn`t over confident and has faults. All girls hate a smart ***.
Start a hobby and put your energies into it.
Do something to divert your mind away from thinking about your girlfriend.
She has lost respect for you through her doing what she`s doing. It is no reflection on you. You sound a great guy and you have done nothing wrong. Don`t let her drag you down.
She maybe the sweetest girl you know but she cannot treat you like this.

BE STRONG
MOVE ON
HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH

(p.s. Us girls love the strong silent type!!)

Answer 3

Really a partner should be there for you when you are having a difficult time. That is what relationships are all about. Its understanding he is hesitant becaus he may feel that if you through another patch then you may push him away again. Read here https://tr.im/t3P0k

I am going through something similar, but she hasnt made any contact to come back to me, and I know even though I may want her, I would be hesitant because of the possibility of going through the same thing again.

I dont know how long you have been apart, but dont pester him to get back with you, although it would be good for you to let him know your feelings, and that you are sorry for pushing him aside.

If he is willing to chat, then great, if he is reluctant, just offer to be a friend maybe, but you have to know that it does not mean he will come back to you.

He will care about you, even after what iv gone through...feelings dont just dissapear no matter what he may say. Stick in there. only time will tell.

If you get another chance, then make the most of it and never let him go awain because if you do, he will never come back. I really hope it works out for you. Its a difficult thing to go through.

Answer 4

Awwwwwww! I wish I could give you a great big hug right now, and then apologise for the slap on the face! Seriously you will be soooo much better off with out her! You deserve someone that is going to treat you with the respect and love you deserve! She has been throwing your love and trust back in your face! Dont go back to her! She will just end up breaking your heart over and over again! She has obviously knocked your confidence!
Just go out wih mates, socialise! You dont need another girl right now you need some me time! Once you socialise a bit more your confidence will grow and you will barely even need to think about what you are going to say to a girl!
Stay strong and remember you deserve better! You are not a doormat!
xxxxxx

Answer 5

Listen, its a fact (harsh as it is) that once a cheater, always a cheater. You can guarantee that if you get back with her, she will just keep on cheating on you. Why? Because she can. Because she knows you'll forgive her. She really isn't worth it. By the sounds of it, your a nice guy and deserve someone better. It is always very hard to get over someone, especially when you love them as much as you do, but it is possible. Start with getting rid of anything that may remind you of her, pictures, Cd's etc. Start going out places that you wouldn't have gone with her - different bars, clubs, etc whatever your into and meet new people. Before you know it you'll have met someone much nicer and far more deserving of you love. It does take time and it is difficult, but it is possible. Hope that's helped. Good luck :)

Answer 6

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/tlKxF

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 7

You're just lacking self confidence that's why you're still with this girl who probably was cheating on you while you were with her as you probably suspected. Meeting up and having sex with your ex seems a little....bad or at least shows her character and your's yes? Being afraid to be alone and trying to find a new girl or be insecure and miserable in a relationship with this ex? Your choice.

Answer 8

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/6Rtoy

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 9

Wow that is a rough situation. Do you think she would have cheat if you lived closer to her. Was she cheating on the weekdays when you were seeing her on the weekends? I think if that is the case you should grab your best wingman and get out there and meet some people. It should help you get your mind off of it. I am doubtful that there is any good reason to stay with this one. It is expected to feel like crap about it. It is just part of the process.

Answer 10

Take some time out to heal and get to know yourself again. There is nothing wrong with taking time out for you, its healthier than hanging onto someone who doesnt care for you and can give you a disease. She isnt ready for the level of commitment you are ready for so itwont work out even if DR PHIL has to step in. You will meet someone new once you refocus yourself. Just take it easy and know that you will look back at this and know you did the right thing ending all contact and walking away. Do yourself that favour!