I Love my 4 Year Old Nephew BUT,?
I take care of him 3 days out of the month. Parents are not married and live far apart. As an aunt I take him to rests, parks, attractions, museums, eateries, and give him lots of love and attention when he is with me and my family. I also teach him morals, respect and all that. NOW, he lives with his mom. The last 4X my brother calls her place my neph, refuses to talk to me or just hangs up, whereas he always asked for me, and wanted to talk to me only. He is always by my side when we are together and always asks for me to go with him and no one else. When he throws a tantrum he tells me he hates, me never wants to see me again, will lock me up and throw away the key, and he says it with utmost anger and passion and has even hit me with brutal force, biting kicking so bad, like a barracuda. I have had to even run from him because he is powerful. I teach him and tell him not to do it, and give him time outs. PLEASE HELP ME. HE IS SO YOUNG AND GROWING COLD TOWARD hs, aunt who cares4 him
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He acts all violent too. At his mother's house the mother works upstairs. And he is all alone downstairs watching video games and tv all by himself. At my home we are always with him, taking him places together. Could the games be influencing him at this age?
2007-11-08 15:46:56 · 12 answers · asked by DREENA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I ASK HIM, and he doesn't respond if I ask why are you feeling this way, has someone hurt you, and I get nothing.
2007-11-08 15:56:31 · update #1
Absolutely! Young children are sponges. They soak up everything in their environment. No child that age should be left unsupervised. If his mother is unable to be with him because she has to work, she should find a qualified care taker (such as his aunt?) to be with him while she works.
My gut tells me there's more than just the games and the TV that are influencing him. They may teach him to act violent but why would he refuse to talk to you on the phone? How is your relationship with his mother? Do you get along with her? Is it possible she may be saying things against you? I sounds like someone is. Without realizing it, children tell us so much about their environment. It's up to us to be willing to listen.
2007-11-08 16:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try picking up some of Dr. Brazelton's books on child behavior... a lot of pointers.
Yes, I think the games are hindering his progress. He needs to be out playing with other kids... socializing. His mom needs to join a play group for single parents.
It really sounds like the kid is dealing with separation issues. His mother needs to pay attention to him, and especially BE A PARENT. Too many parents just have the kids and then let them roam at will.
This kid is acting out and it will only get worse.
Hitting and biting are not normal. Running from him is just teaching him that he can run the show... you have to make a stand and gain control over the situation... he is at the age where he understands that there are repercussions for his actions. The next time he acts out physically against you, you must stand your ground, talk to him about it, and perhaps spank him.
You are going to have to use the ol' "carrot & stick" approach with him... reward good behavior by playing with him.
Punish the bad behavior by saying "Hey, if you are going to be like that, I don't have to put up with you!"... and then walk away.
2007-11-09 01:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something is very wrong in this boy's life. Of course if you ask him what it is, he probably won't know. He's only 4!
The hateful things he says are not because of anything he has against you; it is because something bad is going on in his life. Will his mom or dad tell you what could be troubling him?
He would probably benefit from some play therapy with a qualified counselor. Or, you could try to draw him out yourself.
Set aside 30 minutes of quiet time, just you and he, with a variety of toys. Ask him what he wants to do. Follow his lead. Notice what kinds of feelings and actions he comes up with. Let him express himself freely for this time, unless he is being destructive or breaking your rules. Being angry and pretending to hurt or kill people are fine, for now. Comment in a neutral way on whatever he does or says. "You put the truck over there. Now the alligator is biting the pirate." States his feelings, acknowledge them. "So you hate me." After he is done, see whether you have gained any insight into what is going on with him. And this kind of play may well help him to cope better.
I hope you are able to help him.
2007-11-09 01:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels safe with you, safe enough to share all the anger and frustration about his life that he feels. It doesn't sound so great, left alone to play by himself (regardless of what he's playing) and no dad in the picture.
When he is screaming he hates you, he's testing you to see if you love him enough to hang around. Obviously it isn't okay, but try to be understanding....he is an angry boy and needs you more than ever. Time outs may be worse for him, because you are pushing him away. Try time in, where you see he's getting frustrated and just sit and hold him, or take him for a treat. Just let him know that no matter what you are going to be there for him.
Poor lil guy.
2007-11-08 23:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He really needs some help. I would be calling someone about him. If he acts like that now, and has no one looking after him. He will be worst when he is in school. He might not even be allowed in School, as someplace's don't take hitting people or things. And maybe his Mother should get some parenting courses, as she is not looking after him.
I wish you the best of luck. But try to keep up the good work, he needs you.
2007-11-09 00:02:27 · answer #5 · answered by 38Angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yea my son was playing hours of video games and when he would stop he was in another world and aggressive to my four year old and he is nine. Also professional wrestling will do it. Pokeman may to. Once I started limiting games and tv both my sons respected others more.
2007-11-09 00:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by sandy34 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a manipulator and is being abetted by his mother.
Study and study does not show a causal relationship between video games and violence, but something is happening with mon
2007-11-08 23:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like something has happened in the boy's life. Can you ask him why his behavior toward you has changed?
2007-11-08 23:51:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no & dont take the games away from him because he will hate you even more. just ask him why and stuff like that
2007-11-08 23:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no..some kids are just born that way...mean and nasty ( I have a brother like that, born BEFORE video games, no excuse for his actions, except he's a jacka**)
The kid needs some therapy...and soon..maybe someone is sexually abusing him.
Maybe someone is mentally or physically abusing him..
2007-11-08 23:52:46 · answer #10 · answered by Chrys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋