I am 22 years old, and a graduate student. I am one of those girls who has been to hell and back with serious relationships, and feels like she has a good hold on what she expects out of the guy she would like to spend forever with. However, I feel that this makes me more picky and I feel that all of the guys I meet anymore are more focused on sex than anything that is feeling-related on a mature level. I have tried to date older guys, but this usually doesn't solve the problem. Am I expecting too much? Or is there really no hope for the old fashioned family with a white picket fence anymore? I am just discouraged and could use some advice on where to go from here with this area of my life. Thanks!
2007-11-08 15:44:29 · 13 answers · asked by Alesha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been where you are now. You'll find a lot of that in college. I sure did. My grandmother told me that I'd find someone when I least expected to. What happened with me, I have a myspace account, wasn't really out looking for anyone, when this guy found me. We talked for months-both having relationship problems. Then I realized I was dreaming about him, because he was a great person just by talking to him online. I suggested that we meet and go get a drink-nothing serious, but just to have a good time. We met, and honestly, hung out every single day since then-this was 3 1/2 yrs ago. I thought we'd just become really good friends, but he ended up kissing me, and this turned everything towards a relationship. We have a young son now, and are getting married on our 4 yr anniversary next year :) He's not like the other guys I had dated and went out with before... he would never cheat on me, and we get along great. Before him, I was beginning to think like you- that everything would be hopeless for me in finding a perfect man. So I will tell you what my grandma told me- you WILL find a good guy when you least expect it :) I promise! My dad was a good role model for me- I always had dreamed of finding a good guy like he was to my mom. He was loyal, had a huge heart, and truly loved her.... I found mine, and I hope you find yours too! I was your age when I almost gave up! I'm now 25 :) And I have to say, it's not always a bad thing to be picky!
2007-11-08 15:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to find the right guy - unfortunately a lot of guys your age are not looking to settle down with a wife and kids - no matter how nice the house and picket fence! I don't think it's too much to ask and you certainly shouldn't change your standards. I also think that 22 is too young to get married - you have so much to learn about life and love - I'd suggest dating a few guys (not that you should sleep with them all!) but if all they want is sex - it will be easy to see right off the bat and you can eliminate that guy and date someone new - I know how you feel - it's frustrating to think that all the guys you meet only want sex but you just need to take your time and find the right guy - he's out there! - the best thing about being 22 is that you have so much ahead of you! No need to rush - have fun!
2007-11-08 15:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not expecting too much and whatever you do dont change. The guys that are only focused on sex are not for you. You just havent found the right guy. There is an old fashioned guy out for you. Do not settle and dont be discouraged. You are a graduate student. Focus on your studies and try to find someone in the graduate program. Be happy with yourself dont look for guys and you will find one! Good luck!
2007-11-08 15:48:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know it is alright to be picky. Don't ever settle for less than what you deserve. Relationships that are geared toward sex are destined to end when all the material stuff is over (usually after a few months.. if that long). Don't get me wrong, sex is a big part of a relationship, and if two people aren't compatible in that area it won't work... but it shouldn't be a focal point. If the guys you are seeing are sex oriented, than that's what they want... sex, and not the real you. My advice.. be picky and don't settle for less. You'll meet someone special when you stop looking.
See ya and good luck.
2007-11-08 15:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by yell2eric 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, being a guy, this answer probably will not score a lot of points, but hear me out.
There actually guys out there (like myself) that do not spend every waking hour preoccupied with scoring with every girl they meet. And dating older guys won't help you find them any faster. To find mature guys, you have to find them doing mature things. For example, the guy you see at the local bar every night probably is not that mature. However, the guy you see hanging around the library is mature and will likely give you good conversation rather than bad pick-up lines.
You're not expecting too much. The family you want to have is out there - you just have to be patient and look for mature men in mature places.
2007-11-08 15:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by WesternCal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a level-headed girl, and you're on the right track. You're only 22; there's plenty of time to meet Prince Charming. Don't settle for anyone! I could have settled a few years ago, but I'm so thankful I didn't (I'm 27 now). If I had, I would not be with the wonderful man I'm with today. Good luck!
2007-11-08 15:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by WinstonPug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it means anything I`m 32 and felt the same way you do now for awhile, but it will work out there are guys out there that feel the same way you. I will admit though that as a guy that is one thing we do think about more than anything is sex and that is an important maker or breaker in a relationship cause if it is bad we will be gone, but if it is good we usually will stay and be content and happy with who we are with. You just have to relax and let it come to you because it will.
2007-11-08 15:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by OrangeBlood728 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The white picket fence dream is now 30 year olds. not too many younger guys are looking for that. They have to get a high power job and make a million. Then they look for the wife, it's not you, that is the way things are right now.
2007-11-08 15:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up. There's still some guys out there that actually just want someone to spend time with. Im currently looking for someone myself but every girl I meet seems to think that all guys are just out for sex. Of course there was the bad timing thing where I asked one girl out....and it turned out to be the day after her boss tried to rape her. She's sworn off guys all together due to both encounters happening so close to eachother.
2007-11-08 15:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't quit looking, but realize that being a graduate student is going to interfere with both your ability to find a compatible person and your ability to spend time with them. I have seen many people struggle with their dating life while in grad school, and then be married only a few years later. Don't despair school is a temporary thing for most people.
2007-11-08 15:50:12 · answer #10 · answered by Future Citizen of Forvik 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋