I Love my 4 Year Old Nephew BUT,?

Question

I take care of him 3 days out of the month. Parents are not married and live far apart. As an aunt I take him to rests, parks, attractions, museums, eateries, and give him lots of love and attention when he is with me and my family. I also teach him morals, respect and all that. NOW, he lives with his mom. The last 4X my brother calls her place my neph, refuses to talk to me or just hangs up, whereas he always asked for me, and wanted to talk to me only. He is always by my side when we are together and always asks for me to go with him and no one else. When he throws a tantrum he tells me he hates, me never wants to see me again, will lock me up and throw away the key, and he says it with utmost anger and passion and has even hit me with brutal force, biting kicking so bad, like a barracuda. I have had to even run from him because he is powerful. I teach him and tell him not to do it, and give him time outs. PLEASE HELP ME. HE IS SO YOUNG AND GROWING COLD TOWARD hs, aunt who cares4 him

He acts all violent too. At his mother's house the mother works upstairs. And he is all alone downstairs watching video games and tv all by himself. At my home we are always with him, taking him places together. Could the games be influencing him at this age?

Answer 1

Okay, he is 4 and has severe anger problems? Something is definitely not right at home. Also, you only have him 3 days out of the month??? And, you are "teaching him morals, respect, and all that." It takes time to teach that stuff. 3 days out of the month is not it.

Quite honestly, you just need to tell him you love him, but his behavior is absolutely unacceptable. And, if he continues to treat you the way that he is, and hurt you the way that he does, then you will not be able to spend time with him alone anymore. Ask him why he thinks it is okay to bite you and hit you. Ask him if there is someone that does those things to him. See what he says. Don't ever put any one in the position of doing it though. By that, I mean, don't ever say "does your mommy hit you." or "does your mommy bite you". This is not a good way to ask a kid what's going on.

I role play with my daughter. When she has gotten angry and went through this minor phase of hitting her dad in the face, I asked her "who told you it is okay to hit?" "have you seen someone be hit?" "does someone hit you?". We will play with crayons or dolls, and sometimes even silverware at a restaurant. She'll decide who she wants to be, and assign me to being someone. (example: her fork is the teacher, and my spoon and knife is her and one of her classmates.) I have found out a whole lot of interesting tidbits. When she plays teacher, her voice changes, and she gets really stern. It's quite funny, but, I have had a lot of questions answered this way.

But, again, you are going to need to withdraw from him if he continues to be abusive. It is unacceptable and it's not okay, and he needs to know that you love him, but you will not be around him when he behaves in that manner.

Also, you need to tell his father and mother what he is doing, and relay the same rules to them that you are giving him.

Answer 2

A 4 year old who behaves as this child does has learned to be that way from seeing it demonstrated to him either by adults or by the things he is allowed to see on TV or his video games...all of which are much to old for him. Is this a situation that should be reported to CPS?????...for his own safety and protection.

Answer 3

attempt figuring out on up a number of Dr. Brazelton's books on baby habit... a exceptional sort of policies. confident, i think of the video games are hindering his progression. He desires to be out twiddling with different childrens... socializing. His mom desires to connect a play group for unmarried mothers and fathers. It quite feels like the youngster is coping with separation subject concerns. His mom desires to hearken to to him, and exceptionally BE A parent. Too many mothers and fathers only have the youngsters and then enable them to roam at will. This youngster is performing out and it will only worsen. Hitting and biting at the instant are not ordinary. working from him is only coaching him that he can run the prepare... you're able to make a stand and income administration over the area... he's on the age the place he's conscious that there are repercussions for his movements. the subsequent time he acts out bodily against you, you're able to stand your floor, consult with him approximately it, and in step with probability spank him. you will could use the ol' "carrot & stick" concepts-set with him... reward good habit by using twiddling with him. Punish the undesirable habit by using asserting "hi, in case you would be like that, i do no longer could submit with you!"... and then walk away.

Answer 4

What is he allowed to watch on TV? What kind of video games is he playing? I'm sorry, but I think 4 is too young for most video games, and they should not be allowed to watch TV unsupervised. Your brother needs to fight for custody because she is obviously unfit to care for him.

Answer 5

This ain't your fault. You must love children unconditionally, and it sounds like you're expected something in return for your efforts. Stop this. Expect nothing.

Take satisfaction in that you've done your very best. Sorry, but you can't control this one inch. It is what it is. Let it go.