I am almost 18 (next friday) and I like a 14 year old?

Question

PLEASE NO RUDE COMMENTS, AND READ THE WHOLE QUESTION BEFORE ANSWERING.

ok, she likes me. we are both in early college programs (in different counties but we live close to eachother) but any way... some people have said that it is wrong for us to like eachother. nether one of us knows why. we have both agreed NOT to have s_x and we only go on group dates. I have tried to find some one "my own age" before. I have never found any one I like as much as I like this girl. our parents don't mind because we go to the same church and they know me. so why do people say it is wrong?

besides, her parents are 6 years apart and mine are 5 1/2 years apart.

why can't people see past a 4 year age difference?

Answer 1

It seems like a very nice relationship. If the girl's parents are okay with you and her dating then its ok. Yes, technically your an adult but last year you weren't and this has been a grey area in the law for several of our states. how can a relationship that was ok one day be illegal the next.

You aren't a pedophile cause you aren't looking for girls that are young. Its quite the opposite as you have tried to find a girl that older. But your in love and love doesn't really know age. Eventually she will be legal for you to date. Just keep your promise not to have sex and everything will be fine.

Answer 2

Well, here is the deal. When you are young 4yrs is a large jump in maturity and general knowledge of the world. As a person ages the years between couples becomes less of an issue. I'm 30 and my husband is 33, which seems to be the (roughly) normal age difference for most couples. But the guy I dated before him was 8 yrs older than me. He was 28 and I was 20, not too horrible. Until you do the math.... I was in the 5th grade when he graduated High School.... doesn't sound too great does it...
So, while at 18 you are graduating high school she's in the 8th grade.... People are doing the 'math.' To many, you are a young adult and she is still a young girl. People will assume you are taking advantage of her, no matter what the truth is.

In the end if it works for the both of you and her parents are fine with the situation don't worry about what others think. You've got to live your own life. And remember once she's 20 and you are 24 no one will care.....

Hope this helps.......

EDIT:
glad you two have agreed to abstain from having sex. Thats a can of worms you don't want to open! Its illegal since you'll be 18. In many states you cam be prosecuted even if she & and her parents don't press charges... You don't want to live the rest of your life labeled as a sex offender because of young lust!!!!
Be careful!!!

Answer 3

I dated an 18 year old when I was 14, but now that I am 18 the thought seems really wrong, I think just because I'm a girl and we mature faster anyways a 4 year age difference is not a big deal when you get older if you still like one another stay friends and date in a few years

Answer 4

The comparison to the parents' ages is just ridiculous. They are adults, and the age difference in adults just doesnt factor into your discussion.

The fact is, whether you want it to be or not, it is illegal for you to have any kind of physical contact with this child. And make no mistake. She IS a child. If someone wanted to swear out a complaint against you for holding hands in the park, it could lead to prosecution. And if you kiss her or touch her in any way, appropriate or not, you could be looking at a very serious charge that, upon conviction, will require you to register as a sex offender. This will ruin you for the rest of your life.

Going to the same church, the assertion that her parents dont mind...any of that...just doesnt matter. ANYONE can find your relationship to be inappropriate and have the matter investigated. You are asking for trouble. Plain and simple. Because she's 14 this year. Next year, she'll be 15. And the next, 16. In most states, having a physical relationship with her up until 16 is statutory rape. In MANY states, because you are four years older than she, it is statutory rape until she's 18.

Do you really think you are going to be with her for 4 years without having some kind of physical relationship? Are you going to resist her when she comes on to you? Are you willing to bet your life, liberty and reputation on that?

There is nothing wrong with a friendship. But a romance with a girl that age is something you should avoid. You are only 18. The fact that you 'havent met anyone yet" will change. At the very least, it is very likely that you will meet someone and end up breaking this kid's heart when its time to move on.

Do her and yourself a favor and rethink this. There is a chance that everything I say here will never happen. But I'm willing to bet my 7 years as a prosecutor in a unit that dealt with sexual assault cases that it probably will.

Answer 5

Because the age difference at 18 and 14 IS NOT the same as at 38 and 34! The physical and emotional maturity levels are so different at that age. You are a man. SHE IS A CHILD. Maybe a very cute one, but still a CHILD. If you're both very serious, wait it out for 6-7 years, have fun going out in group activities with friends and then see where you both are. There is nothing wrong with what you feel, but acting on it could be very damaging for her (not to mention illegal), exposing her to issues that she shouldn't have to worry about at that age. She may think it's great, but really, the whole situation is not fair to her. Be a gentleman. wait and see.

Answer 6

Unfortunately right now she is 14 and you 18. If you were both in your 20's no one would care because it's not against the law. As long as both sets of parents are o.k with this the only problem you have is society. I don't personally agree with the age difference because at 14 her life is so different than that of an 18 year old.

Answer 7

Because once you turn 18, you will be considered a legal adult while she is 14 and barely begun her teenage years. If youre not planning on having sex with her then what is the confusion about? Generally speaking, there is a big age gap between the years you are talking about. That is why people frown at it.

Answer 8

Some narrow-minded people have their own set idea that couples should be the same age. Ignore them and get on with your life. The disparity in age is not all that unusual; girls can be more mature than boys at the same age, and there are differences within each sex as to their relative social maturity with respect to others of the same age. Lots of luck.

Answer 9

people dont understand unless they have been in a succesfull relationship with a big age different, 4 yrs is not that bad and when your older it wont be a big deal. my hubby and i are 9 yrs apart. but we met when we were both adults, even then we get looks and comments all the time. people just think that one is taking advantage of the other, or that you dont have much in common, or something like that. i am sure your girlfriend is worth waiting for, just be very patient. and dont forget to not get too serious at this age(make sure you both know how serious the relationship is) you both need to have some fun as kids first before settling down, especialy her because she is younger and hasnt got to do alot of things that you have. good luck and if you both are willing to make it work, then it will. :)

Answer 10

14 year olds do not make wise decisions. In fact, most 18 year olds don't either. At your ages it could be infatuation or lust. If it's real love, it will still be there when you both are more mature and know each other better.