I have a pain in the *** father who I recently sent to a nursing home. In my defense he was really annoying and needy so I decided to end my suffering. I sent him to a cost efficent nursing home. Anyways after I sent him to the nursing home I decided his house would not be much use to me. I sold it as well as the heirlooms inside. Since I made such a profit I decided to expand my own house. Since then people have been giving me dirty looks and my girlfriend won't shut up about it. How can I put it in perspective with everybody.
2007-11-08 15:02:01 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I hope this post is not a joke. I have a father who could join your father's club. He is not in a nursing home, he has more money than he can count...but he is cruel and vicious...I wish I did not love him at all, but I do..so I can understand why you would want to sell off any and all property of his. Just to be rid of the legacy. Tell those who judge you, " If you have not lived my life don't try to tell me what to do with my life." I feel for you...it is awful.
2007-11-08 15:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by CherryCheri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
Your parents take care of you when you are little, and give up a lot for you. It is a social norm to do the same once they are too old to help themselves. He is needy because he's old and his health is failing. That being said, if you felt that you couldn't care for him and put him in a home, that would be fine. However, quality of care should be the consideration, not cost efficiency, especially if there was money to spend.
The main problem is that you sold all his things and didn't use the money for his care. Since your father is still alive the house and heirlooms were not yours to sell. Nobody would have thought twice about you selling everything after his death. The money you made off of the sale of his house should have been used to buy the best care for him (as it was his money) and not to better your own situation especially because you won't care for him yourself. It would have been a whole different story if you had expanded your house to move him in. Essentially people view the situation as you stuck your dad in a home so you could steal all his property and make your life better.
I guess the way you can put it in perspective for everyone is to say, "I only care about what is best for me, get used to it."
2007-11-08 23:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Liza S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW cant beleive you just did that. Cant imagine what your father must be thinking let alone your GF. You must proof read what you just asked. You dont seem like you have much compassion for your father. Even sold? Could have donated items and not tried making money off of everything you could find. You also sound very selfish. You made a profit and now fixing your own home, with what once was your fathers. Come on now. If you think that taking him to a nursing home just solved your problems. Let me set the record straight for you. You have another thing coming. Your problems just begun. I have worked in nursing homes for 10 years. You dont know the word "annoying" just yet.
2007-11-08 23:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by a_12_w_3_17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By telling them you're a greedy bastard. Because you are. I can understand putting him in a nursing home, but not to 'end YOUR suffering' how about, because he needs care and support that you can't give him. This man raised you and gave you everything you needed to be a successful person. And that's just the start of it. Have you taken into consideration that he may have wanted to leave his house to someone who WOULD need it? And the heirlooms inside could have been personal mementos of times that he loved. You should have asked him if he wanted to keep any of them or give them to anyone else who could have appreciated them. Also, you should hope that he didn't leave any of the things you sold to anyone else in his will (did you even take that into consideration?) otherwise you could be at the nasty end of a legal battle in which you may be forced to sell your precious house to pay off whatever you sold.
And just for kicks, I hope someone puts you in a nursing home and sells you stuff when you're old. Thank you karma.
2007-11-08 23:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
realize that no matter how annoying you fater is/was... he is still your dad and you are his loin friut. Here, if you have any money left from selling his stuff, I would suggest using it to put him in a top notch home, as for friends... they dont know the whole story so they are kind of... flipping through the pages of your life and not getting anywhere near the whole story. But really... take care of your dad as BEST as you can in his last years. Believe me, you will want the same from your child when you are on your last leg. And tell the girlfriend that you handled the situation as best as you saw fit and it really isnt her business so stop that harping because the topic is NOT an open discussion. No.. you're not a scumbag...
2007-11-08 23:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by cecil0986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in your father's place. He reared you... perhaps he didn't spend enough time with you to teach you things like compassion, morals or ethics.
It is common that the parents' estate may have to be liquidated to support the parents while they are in a nursing home. To liquidate his estate and TAKE all that money for your own selfish use is really SCUMMY.
This situation has shown your girlfriend her own future if she continues to hang around a selfish git like you. She needs to move on.
2007-11-09 02:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you need to learn the difference between right and wrong. You also could use some lessons in compassion. You've heard the saying "walk a mile in someone's shoes"? Well think of how you might feel if someone did that to you.
2007-11-08 23:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by Herb W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking a question or trying to explain yourself? Were you really annoying and needy as a child to him??? He did not end your suffering. He did not send you to an orphanage. He spent money on the things you needed to eat, live and strive.
2007-11-08 23:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by doris_38133 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My guess was you have become senseless, selfish and a greedy. Everyone I know would like their parents very much alive and will do anything to lengthen their lives. But YOU. It's like you are sentencing your dad to suffer. Bless your soul for this.. your children will do t he same thing you did to your father.
2007-11-08 23:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by foxy123magenta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you think that little of your father...he is probably better off in the nursing home. I guess you could tell everyone that .
2007-11-08 23:08:53 · answer #10 · answered by my two cents 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋