I'm 43 years old and all my life my parents have been very negative and chipped away at my self esteem. I have just had nine nights in hospital and they didn't even visit yet they have high expectations for me to visit them etc... My dad recently went on holiday and because I am currently single they asked me to stay with Mum - which I did. Two weeks later I'm in hospital and not so much as a phone call from them. This is just one example of many many similar events throughout my life.
I feel that I need to walk away from them. They are healthy but incredibly self centered and I feel so hurt whenever I contact them. Guilt alone is keeping me in contact. I want to start over without them so that I can have some sort of decent life. Do you think this is ok. (I have tried a million times to resolve things with them but they get very angry and abusive.)
2007-11-08 14:51:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think walking away is the healthiest thing you could ever do for yourself. They sound evil and manipulative, that is why you feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong and owe thm nothing. Be thankful they brought you to this world, fed you, gave you a place to sleep, etc. then remind yourself that you only get one life and must care for yourself now. You have allowed their behavior to affect you for 43 years...too long! You cannot and will NEVER change their behavior, so stop trying. Research a place you want to live and make it the best years of your life with new places, new friends, and perhaps new family! Be joyous!
2007-11-08 15:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by Thinkaboutit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is just terrible. I feel for you. You don't need to be put through this anymore. You have choices to make. 1. you could walk away 2. Keep taking this abuse 3. Put your foot down once and for all. Let them know that you are not and will not accept this kind of behavior from them anymore. You have dealt with all your life and now its time for it to stop. Let them know that you love them but just because you love them doesn't mean that you have to keep on dealing with their abuse. If they can't treat you with respect then they will give you no choice to back off until they decide to do so. Let them know that this is not what you want, but something you will have to do because your mental and physical health is just as important. Don't be afraid to follow through if you have to. If you believe in a higher power, then pray for strength and wisdom. Stand your ground. Good luck and God bless
2007-11-08 15:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family is most people's first set of challenges to overcome.
You never overcame yours.
They are USERS and will never admit to being abusive. To them you are only a slave they can press into service any time they want. They think they own you and you have never told them otherwise.
You have nothing to feel guilty over.
This is about boundaries, among other things.
You need to move on and build your own life.
Learn to say NO.
QUIT BEING USER-FRIENDLY.
Use the answering machine to screen your calls so you don't have to talk to them.
Actually, you need to move to another town and play "keep away"... don't give them your new phone number or address.
2007-11-08 18:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sellout and start packing, leave your emotions for them in a short note and live your life. you must be about tired of it or you wouldn't have mentioned all that you did, you basically have answered this for yourself so go on and follow through with it. you don't have to be mean or nasty just do whats right for you and only you, life is too short to spend it around those that bring us down reapeatedly, you owe it to yourself and what stength you have left after all the years of there ways.
make a plan and work your plan, start now not tomorrow...
GOD Bless
2007-11-08 16:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sassafras Knobs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion---I think it is fine. Too many people will say "NO" but I am one that feels that you need to live your own life. If you don't start now--you will have no life left. Go. Live your own life. They lived theirs and are living theirs so why shouldn't you. Just my opinion.
2007-11-08 15:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do what they do dont call and if you do dont talk about your life leave them out of it:::but its hard to fall out of love with your mom and dad im sure they have been good at times to
2007-11-08 15:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by john 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing changes if nothing changes, also expectations are premeditated resentments, so therefore, you have to accept people for who they are, so you are not in turn let down..make sense?? I am sorry you are down.......
2007-11-08 16:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋