I find this rude, how about you?

Question

I am interested to know how people (ladies mainly but I'm sure it applies to everyone) feel when someone else orders food for them. I find it incredibly rude, especially as I am a fussy eater and have some mild food allergies and generally do not like the food being ordered for me. I was wondering if others think it is sweet or chivalrous.

Answer 1

That's a VERY OLD tradition. In the old days, proper gentlemen always ordered for the lady. The sequence of event is, lady tells the gentleman what she wants, waiter talks to the gentleman, and he orders for both of you.

This is no longer practiced though. There was a restaurant in my area that had two menus. One for the ladies and one for the gentlemen. The former didn't have price written on them. They stopped doing this just few years ago. We used to laugh about it when we go.

If you find it rude, just tell the person you are with, you will order your own food. I don't think it was meant to be demeaning. It's just an outdated tradition.

Answer 2

If a group are out dining together, or one is on a date, or having a dinner with a friend the polite and proper way is for the person who is ordering for others to ask beforehand what they wish to have. To have a meal ordered for them without being asked is rude and in total ignorance of possible food allergies, stomach & dietary issues the person being ordered for has..

To prevent the problem in future, as you are seated explain politely to your co-diner that because of food allergies you prefer selecting/ordering your own meal as it would be a shame to waste money on food you can not eat...and if your wishes are ignored then you may have drive the point home by not eating the selections ordered for you, saying that you are sorry but it doesn't agree with your digestion,is a food you're allergic too, is a food that will interfer with presciption meds you may be taking. If the the person who placed the order has to pay or an uneaten meal....or must dine uncomfortably because you sit without a meal you can consume, or has to send it back and re-order they may think twice before doing it again.

If you are paying for your own meal and they take it apon themselves to order for you, as soon as they do so tell the server that you are sorry, but you are unable to eat that, then procede to order what you wish...if it's too late then as soon as the dish appears send it back telling the server you canot eat it, the reason why, and re-order for yourself. There is no need to sit and suffer...Good Luck

Answer 3

Look, you girls have got it all wrong. It is done as a gentlemanly act not to be rude. Just as opening the door for a woman is a sign of respect not to imply she is incapable of opening doors for herself, but more that she shouldn't have to.

The proper way to do this is for the gentleman to ask her what she wants to eat and then order it for her. If she wishes to add some special requests she can, of course simply speak up. A gentleman does this as a service so she does not have to converse with the waitstaff. He is trying to treat you more like a princess not like a child. Sheesh!

It is really sad that so many women think so little of themselves that they assume every act is done to belittle them. I always order for my wife and she has no problem chiming in with her own special requests.

For crying out loud, we try to spoil you and you think it is rude.
When a princess eats at a public restaurant do you think she orders her food herself? Of course not!

EDIT!!! - There seems to be a bit of confusion here. The woman sould, of course make her selection from the menu, then tell it to her man and he tells the waiter. Some seem to be under the impression that the man arbitrarily orders her something with out her making the choice. That is not the way it goes.

You select whatever you want and tell me instead of the waiter. That's what I am talking about.

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Answer 4

I've never had that happen to me, but I know that some people think this is gracious and mannerly. If someone ever did order food for me, I would smile and graciously say thank you and eat what I could of what I was served. Should I ever dine with that person again, I would discuss the menu with him and express to him what I would like to eat. Being gracious and mannerly, I'm sure he would get the hint and order exactly what I wanted.

Answer 5

I like when my boyfriend orders for me. We always discuss what we're getting first and he knows my picky habits so well that I find it endearing and sweet. But it's traditional, really. The woman tells the man what she wants and he places both orders. As long as the person knows what each is ordering, I don't see a problem. In your case, you should let your fellow diner know that you have allergies and need to order on your own.

Answer 6

It's very sweet, and extremely chivalrous provided they've bothered to find out about my picky habits beforehand. I've had men order for me in the past, those that did, were smart, and had already quizzed me about what I wouldn't or wouldn't eat, and that fact that nothing was allowed to touch or mingle! Now had they not bothered, I'd have been very hungry, and they'd have been very disappointed at having spent that money on a meal I'd absolutely refuse to eat!

Answer 7

I prefer to order my own food but I wouldnt be offended. If someone does this, say to the waitress. Im sorry. I really would like to see a menu. I have a lot of allergies and Im really picky. No one would be offended by you doing that. Take charge and dont be embarassed to speak up if someone orders your food for you.

Answer 8

I am a big girl I am capable of ordering my own food thank you! I prefer to order for myself so I make sure it is what I ordered. The only time I find it acceptable is when I ask for my husband to while I get the children washed up for dinner at the restaurant.

Answer 9

Extremely rude, but you might want to ask whatshisface, or whatsherface, why he/she did that. Speaking for guys, some of us are brought up that way don't know any better until someone says it's rude. You should find out what the other person was thinking before making a judgement.

Answer 10

Personally I have never had my food ordered for me and if someone did that I would probably have a few not nice things to say to them. But yes, I think it would be very rude.