My ex and I were together for almost 2 years. (He is 21 and I am 20). We were each other's first loves and were very close. Towards the end of the relationship, he started to drift away a little bit and became very flirtatious with the girls at his college. I found out that he kissed one of these girls, and I was devastated. He swore that it was mistake, and evetually I forgave him.
The very next day, he tells me that he is unsure of what he wants and is confused. He said he still loved me and always would, but he didn't want to hurt me again and didn't think he was ready for a serious relationship. After this, I cut off all contact with him for about a month.
He contacted me a few days ago, and we've been talking. He says that the time apart really made him realize that he doesn't want anyone else but me. He admitted that he allowed others around him to make him believe that he needed to see what else is out there.
2007-11-08 14:25:26 · 20 answers · asked by HoneyChild 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He says that he knows I am the one for him, and he is extremely sorry for putting me through all of this. He said that if I were to give him another chance, he would never hurt me again. Would I be a fool for believing what he says? I love him and do want to try again, but I also want to protect my heart. I told him that I still need more time to figure things out....any advice?
2007-11-08 14:26:58 · update #1
Oh man. I was in the same position as you! He ended up breaking up with me AGAIN! total 3 times... girl, if a guy REALLY wants you and REALLY loves you, he will not kiss other girls, he will be faithful with you and KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. Which is you.
Time apart.. yeah he might want you because you treated him well.. but once he has that all the time again, he won't want it. (Been there, done that, esperienced it)
Girl, I would not waste my time with him. Show him what he is missing. If he believed everyone around him about seeing what else is out there, he's lame. NOone should believe other ppl. If the love was real, he wouldn't have hurt you! love is NEVER EVER supposed to hurt!!
Good luck with your decision :)
2007-11-08 14:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Blonde08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's almost as if I'm watching a movie with you guys, I can see an old relationship between two people end at the same time a new relationship begin. Maybe that's kind of what you need to do. If you really love him and he really loves you, then you have a unique situation here, that most people don't get to have....and I completely understand the hesitation. What you would need to do is take it slow.....that's where the new relationship comes in....Remember the days when you all first dated, how it felt just being together, never really caring where you were, or who was around you, because it felt like you two were the only ones in the room. Remember the conversations, how you could talk on the phone for hours....the spontaneous things you would do together. You don't absolutely have to start out with him in complete trust.....that's the unique thing about trust, if you loose a little bit of it, it's still ok, because that person.....if they are sincere can earn it back...
2007-11-08 14:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two thoughts...
1) My motto is don't ever go back. You risk ruining the good memories. Besides, do you really think a month is long enough for him to change his personality.
2) You guys are very young. Why don't you see what else is out there before making such a big commitment. If you truly love each other, you will be together in the end, but wouldn't you rather know that you tried other alternatives, and this relationship beat them all?
2007-11-08 14:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm on the same exact boat right now!... It's really hard to not want to rush right into things with that person because you probably love him right? but he also hurt you... but really try hard to think of yourself right now. If you feel he deserves another chance, try it. Hopefully by now you know what you deserve and if he ever treats you the way he did, you'll know you can do better. Sure guys can say a lot of things but it's up to you whether or not you want to even give him the chance to show you those things. Actions speak louder than words right?... Take your time deciding, theres no rush for you. Be smart and good luck!
2007-11-08 14:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by Roxy1316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have given two years of your formative years to him. Cherish the time you had collectively and go date different guys. If you want to proceed a casual relationship with him ..Exceptional...However you need to fully grasp that he is now not the last man in the world for you....And he has already shown you that you're not the final lady for him. He went off and kissed and snuggled and explored and realized he had it lovely darn excellent with you....What did you do together with your time? Move on.
2016-08-06 03:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by luong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that by "ex" you are referring to a boyfriend and not a husband.
Well, it's not unusual for one who is not attached to 'stray' with all that temptation walking around in snug jeans and exposed belly buttons, but you know him better than anyone else here at Yahoo! Answers, and we can't really be the experts at telling you how to handle your relationships.
But if you really want to, it is better to give him another 'trial period' without letting him know that you're doing it. If he knows he's being tested, then he'll put forth an extra effort. If he's unaware that you are testing him, and tell him that you accept him back, you can watch him better when he acts like himself.
Good luck.
2007-11-08 14:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Ambassador Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i put a lot of thought into this. If you want to save yourself the heart ache don't give him another chance. Confused and i don't know what i want means he wants other girls. Period. But hes going to try and keep you around JUST in case it doesn't work with other girls. He doesn't want to lose you because he knows you already love him. Hope that helps. but you'll give him another chance, and he will hurt you. Thats the way people work. sounds like your doomed just like i was, unless you stick to your guns.
2007-11-08 14:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Vin M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I love him and do want to try again, but I also want to protect my heart. I told him that I still need more time to figure things out....any advice?"
You just answered you own question.
If he is in college, he will drift again.
You will always be friends sort of. You will never forget each other anyway. Take your time, you will figure it out.
If he lives in a dorm run away as fast as you can.
2007-11-08 14:33:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jeb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has happened to me too, but obviously this isn't high-school relationship love..
Sometimes...you have the instinct if you trust him or not..
Yes, kissing a girl was wrong, but what went wrong and what happened? Would that happen again?
He's an ex for a reason, but mistakes also happen!
Decide for yourself. If he truly hurt you, you would know he was worth it, but if you were just angry, pissed, talked behind his back to other people..then no, you were never close with him.
2007-11-08 14:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look i will tell you one thing for sure ' a cheater is always a cheater', well thats what I have always believed. Now it might be the way you wrote the question but in this instance I would forget the above and believe that this guy is serious about you and does realise what the month apart has done to him without you. I honestly would never give another guy a chance but I think in this instance you should tell him you will start again and he has to earn your trust. Give him chance and start dating and be strong!!
Can you help me, answer my question please.
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhuJvQkeUiOCw6V42jopiDfg5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20071107184325AAqBpQk
2007-11-08 14:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋