AH! How should i handle my retarted sister?

Question

She is a 5 yr old stuck in a 14 yr old body who thinks she is 18. She lies, she manipulates, steals and on top of that gets away with everything because my dad works too much (he has to cuz of his business) and my mom just got out of the hospital from a sever asthma attack and if she has another she won't even make it to the hospital.

Kasey is really out of control and does whatever the hell she wants. My parents know how bad she is but they can't talk to her since she doesn't get what the say and they can't punish her cuz she can't connect the punishment to what she did wrong. She thinks its just abuse.

HOW do i get my sister to shut up and stop her nagging my mom so she doesn't kill my mom?

We can't afford any kind of help since the hospital bills are HUGE.

I really want to do something i just don't know what i can do to help. Any suggestions? PLEASE?

i don't want to put my sister in the hospital. lol. she is going to put my MOM in the hospital. Sorry i typed it fast. i was in a hurry. chill out. My mom isn't getting better from this. Her brother died from it.

She is retarded, but she doesn't look or act like it. Her mind works differently than normal kids but i won't get into details. What i mean is she isn't the retarded you think. She isn't really 5 either. she is 14. She acts like she is 5.

Thanx for alot of your tips guys.

I am sorry for how badly i wrote this question. She was whining to my mom who was freaking out at the time and my mom wouldn't let me do anything about it at all. Its really helpful to know that there are others who have gone through this or have a sister like this.

I can't punish her. Agreements don't work in my family because my mom always breaks them out of sympathy for kasey. I want to know how to talk to her rather than deal with my parents.

Answer 1

I have a little sister one year younger than yours who behaves just like that, except she gets away with it because my mom has a full-time job and my father doesn't live with us.

It really depends on the relationship you have with your sister (I think my sister and I strongly dislike each other, but there is the RARE occasion that we can speak without being at each other's throats) but I suggest talking to her about it. It'll be extremely tough, since you'll have to be like a soft-spoken nurse telling a patient that you're gonna torture them or something, so be prepared for her unwillingness to listen. Eventually, maybe in the next few days, if you made sure to get your point across (I've always been able to get under my sister's exterior by 'crying', but I don't know how your sister works, she may see it as a sign of weakness and a chance to dominate), she may have a change of heart.
Just make sure that you make it sound like you and her are a team cheering on your mom. Say something like, "I think we should be extra gentle with mom, since she is much more delicate now." And make sure to remind your sister that you don't think your mom's condition is her fault. Don't mention her stealing. Otherwise she might be a little defensive. And, if you're lucky, you may be able to get her to open up to you about some deep problems she may be having, and it'll explain why she's acting out in such a way.
But don't expect this to all happen in one sitting. Don't nag, but persistence is the key. Yes, this is probably going to be one of the biggest tests of your patience, but perseverance will pay off!

Basically, confront your sister in the gentlest way possible and manipulate her to maybe "see the light". I am often convinced that my sister is the spawn of Satan, but every once in awhile, humanity shows through.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think your going to have to step up to the plate and show your sister who is boss
help your mom out as much as possable...dealing with a child like that is very difficult.
tell your mom to call the school and ask for suggestions and guidence.
here where i live for parents that are under a lot of stress with kids like that - they have what is called respite care - a couple times a week a person comes to the home and either this person takes the child out for a couple hours or the parents go out. this person is trained to deal with kids that have those problems.
how about a big brother big sister program - that would also be someone that would come and spend time with your sister or take her out.
or how about a home care aid who specialises in taking care of children with issues like your sister. A home aid could work with your sister,and help your mom do some things.

these are all prgrams that have possabillities,and it would relieve some stress from you and your mom and give you both a little break here and there
tell your mom about these programs, have her contact the school for more information,and they may have other suggestions.
in the meentime, since your mom isnt able to realy do anything - your going to have to sit on your sister and sit hard, even if she cries abuse because your mom cant do anything and your it - so she is going to have t o listen to you

Answer 3

Even 5 year olds learn there are consequences for everything.Be Patient with her,Helen Keller was the same way at the same age.Both Deaf AND Blind at the same time.Talk to your parents and see what you can do to help,chances are they've given up after losing patience.There are other punishments that don't involve hitting,but she'll get sneaky.Putting her in a corner for 5-10 minutes depending on her attention span,denial of privileges,rewards of trips to movies or Zoo,mandatory chores,etc.Everyone must be firm with her and not back down or she will resume doing what works for her.Once she knows that you won't change your mind she will conform to household rules.

Answer 4

Are there no grandparents, no aunts or uncles who can help? Have you no pastor? Are there no social services in town that can step in and provide some guidance? Does your mother's doctor know how things are at your house - the doctor's job does not end when your mom gets home, because the intent is to help ensure she does not have to go back to the hospital or worse. The doctor may be able to provide some guidance. Your parents should not have to struggle with this unsupported, but sometimes they have to go ask for help. Why don't you speak to your granparents, a trusted aunt, etc.?

Answer 5

oh my goodness. This is alot for you to deal with and your so young, my heart goes out to you. I know that your parents are having a hard time dealing with her and you feel you have to do something about it. You are going to have to put your foot down with her and show her that she is going to learn some kind of respect for your parents. She is just 14 and she is in a weird stage in her life. She not a baby and yet not a woman. Let her know that if she doesn't start to take more responsibility that there are going to be consequences. Your parents need to back you up on this. It's very important that all of you are on the same page on this. If you are trying to discipline her and your parents are enabling her then all what you are trying to do will be in vein. Talk to your parents first, come up with a plan, let your sister know what the plan is going to be, and follow through. You might also want to speak to a doctor about whats going on with her. (there should be a clinic you can go to. Look into who can help you in your city.) She could be suffering from ADD. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

I'm sorry, but even with a mentality of a 5 year old, your sister knows what she did wrong, that's not an excuse. You need to punish her. Send her to her room, that certainly is not abuse. Help your mom out as much as you can..and remember that she does understand as long as you put it in simple terms.

Answer 7

That's a lot of weight on your young shoulders.Unfortunately your sister can't help the way she is.If she is like a 5 yr.old then you have to treat her like one.Try playing a game she likes so she will be entertained.Color with her and try to keep her busy doing the things she likes.I would think there would be some kind of help out there for your family to get help with her.Just to have someone come in and watch her for a short while would be a big help.Wish I knew more to help.

Answer 8

You may have to use the 'tough love' road! She steals, you report it to the police. It may be just what she needs to be scared into behaving. She understands punishment she just may not acknowledge it. She needs to be sat on hard now or the one who will pay for it with a horribly difficult life is her! You don't have to hang out with her just because she's your sister. Let your parents spend enough time with her that they become aware enough to actually DO something about her issues! Don't stoop down to her level. Keep your chin up and continue to be mature and take the honest path. You will come out ahead in the long run. Guaranteed!

Answer 9

in simple terms go away that's. You "talk" as in case you're very youthful, so I doubt you would be waiting to declare something that would exchange her suggestions besides. She's being in simple terms as infantile by using fact the guy is. for the reason that she's knowingly dating a guy it somewhat is in yet another dating, then she merits any "discomfort" which will result from it. She'll recover from it sometime. Breakups could be no longer ordinary and it somewhat is much extra durable to enable pass.

Answer 10

I have had to deal with my share of manipulators and my advice to you is to learn how to one up the little sh*t to make her respect you.
take her out for an ice cream and tell some story about how hard it is to grow up , be EXTRA DRAMATIC!
maybe an hour later she'll start conspiring something. ANALYZE every single little action and thing she does and says. WATCH how her mind puts these evil deeds together.
GET INSIDE HER HEAD, conspire a counterattack and execute it at the RIGHT TIME.
it all comes down to timing!
BIG DON'TS are yelling at her, telling her to go to her room (thats where she will conspire) , and threatening any sort of punishment that will only make the beast more angry and she will want to attack and manipulate more.
you have to find ALTERNATIVE ways to calm her down while simultaneously getting inside her head to understand how she formulates her destruction.
I really hope this helps. I have been in a similar situation with my older sister its really tough and the skills you need to do all this take lots of fine tuning