Okay I am 21 and I know I can do anything I want to do with my life but I don't want my overcontrolling mother to hate me for the rest of my life I Love her with all my heart and I am always going to be their for her no matter what. So here's the deal, me and boyfriend of 3 Years broke up over the summer and she has been on a really bad "I hate him" spree since then and she just won't let it go; well here lately he and I have started speaking to each other again and we have become friends again and I know he still really loves and cares for me whole heartedly and I still feel the same about him and I know he would do any thing for me I would do any thing for him and we both are really missing each other but my mom doesn't know we are talking and that we have even seen each other a few times and We would like to get back together and give it a second try so how can I tell her in a way that won't make her hate me or not want to have any thing to do with me because I really want her suprt
2007-11-08 14:13:31 · 7 answers · asked by angel_marie_1986 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dealing with your Mom. Hmmmmm. I'm going to guess that in your talking with your ex that both of you learned more about the other person's side of the story and may be seeing things a little more clearly.
You probably don't want to tell these things to your Mom. So I'd say, you've been talking to your old bf and you both want to give your relationship another chance. That's what life and love are about, forgiveness and moving on, not holding grudges. I don't think you can expect your Mom to understand because I don't think you want to share all your private moments of your talks with your bf with her.
So maybe just try and ask her to see it as a second chance and how important and how much it means to you that your Mom put the incident of your breakup behind her and join you in giving this guy another chance. Don't expect her to understand, but ask her to give you and him another chance just because you ask her and you want that so much.
Tell her you want to work things out as an adult and this is what you want to do right now.
Be very careful. Stuff that causes breakups tend to repeat when you go back for a second chance. Be sure you talk a lot with both your bf and your Mom. Keep those lines of communication open. If need be see a counsellor who might help you. But if you love her as you tell us here, then your Mom should realize that too.
Good Luck.
2007-11-09 15:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only mom your son knows, the only mom he now wants, and adoption is no guarantee that he will have a better life - only you can guarantee him a better life by getting yourself together. One thing to do immediately is to contact the mental health services in your community and make an appointment. These people can help you with your anxiety, men you choose, and your own self esteem, life. Fight for yourself, fight for your child. You have been fighting, and you have been succeeding! You state that DSS has investigated you a few times - they have not found your child to be unsafe - their are not so many people that can say the same thing! You really need to give yourself some credit for all you have done, and then get back in that game and take the next steps to help yourself. Keep after Social Services to help you get the child support. What about any extended family? I have lots of nieces, nephews, second cousins, etc. that I would help if I knew they needed it. Do NOT call DSS for a "temporary voluntary surrender" type of arrangement.
2016-05-28 21:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK lets forget about mom for a moment and emotions.Lets look at FACTS!
The fact is you and he broke up for SOME reason and whatever that reason was it was worth ENDING the relationship, OTHERWISE it would not have ended.
Your mom sees things as they REALLY are and not through the eyes of hormones induced fantasy hon.Yeah she may be going OVERBOARD with the "I hate him" rants BUT the thing IS she loves you and knows whats best for you because SHE sees him as he REALLY is and not how you WANT her to see him.
What are the reasons you broke up and has he proven for a yr he has changed if the problem was him?
Have you changed if the problem was you?
Have you BOTH changed if it was both of you?
Or are you both going to try to get one another to accept what broke you up and expect the other to do all the changing and accepting?
Ask your mom why she hates him, if the ONLY reason she gives, is "because he hurt you" then she is being a little too harsh, if she can list OTHER reasons than that then you BETTER listen to her young lady.
2007-11-08 14:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically tell her what you wrote on here. Everyones relationship is different with their mom, so its hard to say how she would react. Just tell her that you guys have been talking again and its not like you can drop someone from your life that you have been dating for 3 years. Explain to her that he is a very good friend and even possibly a boyfriend again (if that will be the situation). Your mom won't hate you because she should only want you to be happy. As long as the guy treats you good....like no beating on you or controlling you then she shouldn't have any reasons to not like him or not want you guys relationship to work.
2007-11-08 14:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by aLiCia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just tell her that you decided to give it another chance with him and that you understand her thoughts about it and respect them but that it would just kill you not knowing for sure if was meant to be or not. Just ask her for support. Good Luck.
2007-11-08 14:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by myangelsfuture 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to just sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your Mom.
2007-11-08 14:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by ruscito_mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll come round. She probably thinks she's helping you get over him by running him down. Tell her, and she'll be right.
2007-11-08 14:39:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋