I have tryed alot of different punishment ways wih him but he will try to cover up his bad behavior with more lies so he wont get in trouble...what do i do?
2007-11-08 14:09:14 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You do what any good parent would do.
You spank his butt
2007-11-09 13:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? How long is the punishment to last? Take away the tv and soccer long enough I think it will work. Don't disregard the old Bible quote about sparing the rod and hate the child. Unfortunately, that would be a last resort i think, so if it is a last resort because nothing else works, I'm sorry to say that it is going to have to be a painful spanking. It may very well leave a bruise on the bottom. Maybe that's what God made Butts for? I wish you luck. Try to stay sain. Everything will be fine.
2007-11-08 14:20:13 · answer #2 · answered by jeeni with the light brown hair 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must stop the punishment. That is the root cause of the tendency to tell lies. You must make the child feel safe, otherwise lying becomes a strategy to stay out of trouble. Make him/her feel free to commit all the 'crimes' without any need to cover up, that means you must de-emphasize 'rules'. He/she should be encouraged to behave freely. When he/she becomes free, you can then take up his/her misbehaviors, one at a time, ask for the reason for doing those things in an unthreatening manner. In love and understanding, correct the flaws in the reasoning and show why they are flawed. If you do this well, you have established a solid basis for relationship with him/her. They will continue to take you into confidence. They know you mean well. If you cuntinue the lashing, you make them see you as cruel and they continue to play safe with you any how until they are just old enough to rid themselves of you. So wake up and secure the right parent-child relationship which you so much deserve after suffering to bring them into the world.
2007-11-08 14:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by Nolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old your child is, or if you mentioned that, but what seems to work with my child is "total and complete grounding". I found years ago that grounding a child for a week was grounding yourself too. What I do now is ground him for 2 hours. During that time he may sit on his bed, bedroom door OPEN. He may have ONE educational book of my choice OR his school books in case he gets bored enough to do his homework. He must ask permission to use the bathroom. If he falls asleep I figure he needs the rest. I don't wake him because it turns into a control issue.
As far as the lying, that seems to be a control thing. You have no control over it and I know with my boy, it's hard to know the truth from a lie now-days. He is so good at it. Don't make excuses for him. Try not to get angry. Love him. Let him know you love him, show him and tell him. Let him know that it's safer and easier to tell the truth.
I am still working on this myself. It's hard, but the grounding like I mentioned works when my son just doesn't care if he looses privleges.
2007-11-08 14:17:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ellen B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a 4 year old daughter who is remarkably honest and reliable due to at least a couple of years of positive reinforcement, I started very early teaching her the meaning of trust rather than the consequences of lies.
Stop punishing your son for any more lies. Just tell him that he does not have your trust anymore and that from now on he needs to earn your trust by learning to be more honest.
In the next few weeks, start catching him being good. Anytime he fulfills a promise or is honest in his behavior, allow him to do something unsupervised or supervised with moderate risk, and tell him: "I'm trusting you to do this", or "I'm trusting you not to get hurt".
2007-11-08 14:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by The Eternal Squire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop accentuating the negative behavior and start focusing on the GOOD behavior. Give him MORE attention when he behaves than when he doesn't. When he is honest about doing something wrong PRAISE him for being honest. Somewhere along the line he was honest about doing something but got into trouble for it. He has come to the conculsion that since he is going to get into trouble anyway he may as well try to lie.
2007-11-08 21:02:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spankings and all the church in the world are not the answer! You need to find out why he lies. More importantly, HE needs to find out why he lies. This could stem from a psychological issue that needs to be dealt with before it escalates. He May not be doing it on purpose. This sounds like a symptom more than a problem to me. I would check on an appointment with a counselor either at school or in an office.
2007-11-08 14:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by cindy_short2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you reward him as well? Kids love attention. If the only reaction he gets from you is the negative attention and punishment, he may be acting out to keep getting the attention. Try sitting down with him and letting him know very clearly what you expect from him. I have also found it helpful to make a chart of what the child is expected to do, and offer small rewards if the tasks are completed. For my son, if he completes everything, he gets to stay up 1/2 hour past his bedtime.
2007-11-08 14:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie73 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, he lies to protect himself from the punishment. Rewarding good behavior and treating your child with respect, acknowledging his feelings will encourage him to trust you again as well as encourage positive behavior. Explain the consequences of his behavior and give real practical reasons why it would be better that he not do those things. Let him know with words how it makes you feel. Eg. it makes me angry or sad when you act this way.
2007-11-08 14:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by Tricia3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wanna ask you first, do u have still time to be with your kid? Find things that you'll be together tell him everything what does a good boy be... Don't use to punish him everytime he does wrong... Talk to him in good way let him explain why he did it well of course he will still lie... Ask him not to do it again so that u will give him the precious presence on christmas= take note that u will really give ok.
2007-11-08 14:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by claire l 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take everything and tell him he has to earn them back.Also spank his behind the next time he lies and tell him next time he will get double and if you catch him lying to cover up, then he gets a spanking and loses anything he has earned back.
Some kids are strong willed enough that losing TV or soccer doesnt phase them.Take the video games, the cell phone the computer too.If that doesnt work, spank him till his eyes cross, then spank him again till they uncross,not literally but you get the picture, just enough to where he doesnt want another one and will weigh the consequences before telling another lie.
One other thing I have heard of was parents lying to their kids about buying them the thing they wanted and /or taking them somewhere , just for a week or so and then explain to them others feel the SAME way when the kid lies to them.
2007-11-08 14:14:48 · answer #11 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋