My girlfriend cheated on her husband 12 years ago( I was the other guy) She has 2 kids, I don't have any,I'm 39, she's 43, we have been together for those 12 years sometimes living together sometimes not.We bought our house 2 years ago but somehow I ended sleeping in the basement..not in the same bed with her.I had a big problem with drinking by myself in that basement and I just wanted out.This was going on from 11/06/06 until she finally got the financing to buy me out on 8/1/07. Well we have been "seeing" each other for the past 3 months but on 9/27/07 I found out she was with another man, he changed the locks the same day I moved out..go figure.He moved out of state on 9/23/07. She's very sorry, wants forgiveness and for me to give her one more chance.I am a recovering alcoholic, seeing a therapist and also make good money.I understand I was an *** and drove her to do what she did. I can't help but to think that because he's gone she wants me back to help with the mortgage & bills
2007-11-08 14:00:44 · 14 answers · asked by RUCKUS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry but what goes around comes around. This is karma for being in a relationship with her while she was married.
2007-11-08 14:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by 1080 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would not read such a long post but I found it interesting and serious too. So, let me tell you what you should or should not do. Friend, first of all, let it be your own decision and don't do what other people tell you. No, not follow even me. So, what after all have I got to tell you? Well, you love her a lot which is clear. She loves you which is a little doubtful but not much- think of what you two have done together. So, that means she, too, trusts you and wants you in her life. It so sometimes happens that a person gets attracted towards some other person- person other than the one whom he or she loves. So, in such a case it becomes that person's duty to show that he or she cares and loves. So, don't make her cry again. Speak to her and tell her that she should share everything with you- what bad or good she has ever done. Bring her into your confidence that you do love her and will do even after knowing the worst part of her life or story. Make her believe that you just want her to be fair to you and that you would do just anything for her. But hereafter you would not like her to have any serious or casual relationship with that guy. Ask her to stop meeting him. And do tell her that yo don't want to change her, but her life. You want to make her life happy. Tell her that anyone would instantly leave her if found all those things about her. But you are still being with her- it guarantees that you truly lover her. Tell her if she really loves you then now is the time that you started a serious relationship with purity of heart and soul and with utmost fidelaity. Well, e-mail me. I may suggest you some more ways. Don't be sad. Don't duobt her much. Just be calm for sometime and see what she does. :)
2016-05-28 21:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant make judgement on your part. But have you ever heard of the law of karma? I'm a HUGE believer of it... But if you do bad things to others, it'll eventually bite back right in your full face.
Why should you give her another chance? She cheated on you and she'll likely to do so again. And yeah, she'll be using you again emotionally, physically and financially - You know you're trying to make your life change for the better and you dont need a woman like her to complicate your life again. I think the only reason she doesnt want to take the financial responsibility for the part.
It's not your fault why this relationship broke up? She has her own faults too.
Anyways, best of luck to you.
But if you really want her back in your life, I suggest the two of you getting into counselling.
2007-11-08 14:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by mitchchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you need to work on getting your life straightened out .Sounds like you both have issues and the best place to start straightening your lives out is at church.You both need to get right with the LORD and if you will follow HIM you both will change.You may find your not compatible with her then again you may be, you may have been the problem but try serving the LORD, you cannot go wrong there HE can see the WHOLE PICTURE ,not just the limited part we see.
Read JOHN 3:1-5 AND Acts 2:38 , try the United Pentecostal Church theyre great!
2007-11-08 14:07:18 · answer #4 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure she wants your wallet. Should the guy comes back she will kick you to the curb.
No one deserves to be treated like that (alcoholic or not) You have been given a chance to start a better life... take it.
You really want to put it where he has been? Uck!
2007-11-08 14:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow so ur recovering CONGRATS. . but she should've been there for u whenu needed her not out fooling around with other men. . . i'd say find someone better who will appreciate u and support u and not care how much money u have cuz i bet once u help catch her up on her bills someone else will come along and with her history i just say i hope u move on and find way way way better!!!!
2007-11-08 14:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off....she cheated on her husband frm who she had two kids with. thats first time. then she cheated on you. thats the second time. and u want to give a third time around?
isnt there a saying that goes sumthing like
first time, shame on u.
second time, shame on me.
....i forgot the third time. but u get what im saying.
is it really worth it?
if sum1 really loves u, then they wouldnt have done that to you no matter what. she would have been very considerate of your feelings and never thought of doing you like that.
u deserve alot better.
good luck
2007-11-08 14:08:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously you should find it hard to see something good in her . If i were you, i would of had a hot chick drink'n with me in the basement the whole time and u have no kids . wake up and smell the bullshit lil jerk
2007-11-08 14:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve better. If she has cheated on two men she will probably do it again, and she does need you to help her out financially. Look for someone who is gold, not someone who is aluminum!
2007-11-08 14:06:53 · answer #9 · answered by Jacquelyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man you have a lot of stuff going on with yourself so you shold just let her go...she's a trainwreck....c'mmon he changed the locks the day u moved out...that's sooo wrong forget her and continue with your recovery...good luck
2007-11-08 14:05:00 · answer #10 · answered by barbie_044 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋