im 14 and trying to deal with parents...can anyone help?

Question

Today I asked my parents if I could sleepover a friends house and asked if i could hang out with my gf...they told me that they would but then i guess i pushed it a little and they began to make me feel really bad and they told me that I dont read any books and I dont do any extra curricular activities and they shouted at me saying that I talk to my gf too much and that I dont do anything else but talk to my gf and they just made me feel so bad about myself and i just dont know what to do anymore...i dont know how to deal with this...can anyone help?

Answer 1

You are 14 and one way to deal with your parents is to listen to them. Did you ever think that maybe they are right; about talking too much with gf ,not reading any books, not getting involved in extra curricular activities ? You are a one dimension person now gf,gf,gf!!! They have had experiences or seen situations like yours and seen outcomes of a wasted opportunity.

Answer 2

A person in there early teen years is very buisy inside trying to be a kid while at the same time trying to grow up into an adult. Usually the teen fails to realize this and parents have long forgotten this awful stage in life, as a result ka-bang the struggles begin. While your problem is serious other kids and parents have it way worse.What ever you do, don't nag or even come close to verbally trying to pressure your parents for any decision let alone a faster decision. You don't know this but depending on the jobs your parents have meaning the lower the paying the job is the worse your parent(s) face pressure at work and the worse they get treated at work especially in jobs where they must deal with people. So when they get home they do not want to hear that staying the night at billy bob davies hose is a life and death matter. If at all possible allow 30 minutes for them to blob in a chair before you ask them for anything-this is a huge, huge way of showing them respect.Do you know anyone who smokes ciggerettes? If not, lucky you...if yes, try asking a smoker if they smoke to much? Ask a smoker if all they do is smoke?Well all 20 million of them will about answer no to both questions.And why? Despite the fact that thet are adults, thet learned a coping skill called DENIAL as a young teenager.Next time the geezers start in pointing fingers at all you aint doing, simply meet them half the way and tell them, gee I guess I really haven't read much lately. Tell them well I did check out a book called...by...its a mystery written by....As far as extra curricular activities to many teens are shoved into these thus leaving them no time for personal sucess and growth in life(so says Women's Day and Family Circle magazines) that often teach competition and power struggle related ethics, not to mention the fact that all those sport related injuries so early in a persons life, wreek havoc in their senior years(so sayeth any bone and joint specialist doctor). Ask your parents a question one time and try to respect the answer you get, even if it isnt the answer you wanted. At least your parents are griping that you need to spend quality time investing in books, they deserve credit points for that. Some parents dont care at all let alone know what thier kid is doing. I will tell you, my parents didnt care and because of it my education came late in life and a whole lot harder. A book just doesnt have to be school books you know or some dumb girlie romance ick...Find the book, Never Be Lied To Again at a book store or order it. Try the book Winning Moves..these books have principals that I use 20 years later.Good luck.

Answer 3

well, you said it " you think you might have pushed too much" and thats probably what you did.
I wouldnt worry about it...........i think you sound like a normal 14 yr old and your stressing about it........
have a talk with your parents, and tell them how you feel, having good communication with them will be helpful because then they can help you when you realy feel down or are having problems.
so, you dont read - neither did I when I was your age - I hated reading.
try to join in an extra activity - maybe one that some of your friends are in
i dont know how often or how long you talk to your gf,but try cutting back a little bit
just to ease things over with your parents.
they love you and want whats best for you,and it sounds like they are concerned

Answer 4

Well, they could have handled this in a much better way. Your parents are concerned that you are spending too much time with your girlfriend. They would prefer you to expand your world a bit. Spend some time at home reading a few good books, spend time with your other friends, maybe join a club or a sport's team. I don't really believe their intention was to make you feel bad about yourself. I think they just wanted you to see that there was more to life than just your girlfriend. Or to remind you of that. In reality, that will give you more things to talk to your girlfriend about, and she can come and cheer for you if you play a sport. Girls really go for guys in uniforms, you know.

Answer 5

I know it is hard to be a kid. I had a hard time with my parents when I was your age. The thing that I finally figured out when I was in my mid twenties was the reason they gave me such a hard time was that they loved me and wanted the very best of all possible futures for me. Your parents are probably just concerned that you are missing out on a lot of cool stuff that comes from being 14 when you are tied up in this serious relationship. I got tied in with girls when I was your age, they liked me, and because of the problems that I had with my folks I got fairly involved. Trust me, when I say that looking back I wished that I would have spent more time doing other stuff, because eventually I realized that I was just spinning my wheels and I wasn't ready for something this serious and hey, I wasn't taking advantage of other opportunities that were coming my way!!

Answer 6

Wow, your parents put you in a very difficult position. They choose not to make many rules for you and then punish you for not doing what they want. Very confusing! They are not upset at you, but at themselves. They may not know it, though. They have failed to provide clear rules for you and then when you do something that makes them uncomfortable they react to it. I recommend you sit down with both your parents and talk with them about guidelines. Tell them you want guidelines to help you know what is okay and what is not okay. For example, they obviously think it is okay for you to have a girlfriend, but they are unclear how involved you can be with her. Ask them to tell you how often you can talk with her or go out with her. These guidelines should be very clear, ie. no more than one hour on week, after you finish homework. Then, ask them what things you can improve on. Such as trying out for a sport at school or joining a school club, etc. Make sure everything they bring up as being a "problem" has guidelines, so when you mess up you know it and they know it. Sit down with them when new things come up. Also, when you follow these for a period of time, you can ask your parents for a reward. Let's say you follow directions without a problem for a month, then you can sleep over at a friend's house. I know it sounds like you are asking for something you don't want, RULES, but they will help you know exactly what you can and can't do without getting into arguments with your parents. Good luck!

Answer 7

I think that your parents are just really stressed and worried that your girlfriend and your friends will come before your schoolwork and your future. If you are involved in Sports..or anything..then you are in extras..but if not join a club/sport with your friends.that way..when they ask..you can say that I am in a sport or club. I know that you really don't want to do that..but it's something that will always come up.

Also..you don't have to deal with people acting like that..don't allow them to get you down. You sound like a very good kid, because you allowed them to be like that..towards you. Next time they bring it up..ask them what they think that you should be in..and ask them for their support..it's not right that htey can treat you like that.

You need to believe in yourself and find it within yourself to be happy, don't let the moods of others shape your emotions. If you are happy or excited..don't be shaped by what people say to you. You have to be happy and proud of yourself and not care about what people think of you. Good Luck in all that you do.

Answer 8

dont panic :)just give a good example dont ask to many things if you know they give you permission already for something,show them respect and give an example go out and train let them see you in home sometimes and read a nice book check out the hobbit of jrl tolkien (when i was your age i'd like it very much:)be an example of a healthy boy dont hang out with boys that smoke and stuff instead be in the company of good student,those in afew years will be the boss of those who laugh and do nothing with themselves,
you are a great boy!remember action speak louder than words.you can give the best example!!!

Answer 9

Same thing here. I'm almost 14.

What i did was like... When they came in my room, my history book was open nexted to me, and i would pretend to start reading it.

Do all your homework and stuff, keep your grades above a "C" and whatever and gain their trust more and they will let you hang out wtih her more?

Answer 10

Just get great grades in school and show them that even without all that other stuff you can still hold high marks...parents can be harsh just dust it off your shoulders and move on from it. Some parents expect to much sometimes from a child.