As a reservist in marine boot camp, how do you go about getting discharged before completion of boot camp?

Question

My fiancee(28) has been in boot camp for the USMC in Parris Island since the 22nd of October as a reservist(NOT active duty). Last week I received letters from him explaining to me that he had been dropped from training because he is in Medical Rehabilitation for fracturing both of his heels. He also explained to me that he is severely depressed and the marines have let him down as far as his expectations of them(He is 4th generation military). He said that he wants to come home and life a normal life. I know that the marines can't just let him come home because that would be a lawsuit against them since he is in their care, so he has to stay long enough to heal THEN return home or return to training... If he doesn't want to continue through boot camp to become a marine, should he try for a medical discharge or failure to adapt(administrative separation). Which one of these and how long would it be before he comes home? They can't keep him there if he hasn't completed boot camp.

Yes I know we are at war... one that should have ended long ago. He thought this would be a better career choice than burying the deceased and directing funerals his whole life. I don't know how tough they are on him, but when my fiancee says something isn't for him, I believe him. He grew up in New Orleans and followed his brothers foot-steps as a gang-banger until he finally got wise enough to move and get out of the crap. Since he was a young boy, he's been working for his families funeral home business and it has really taken it's toll on him mentally. I knew he was physically prepared for boot camp, but not mentally - and I was right. So if ANYONE can answer my question to the best of their knowledge, I'd appreciate it.

This is not his first "real" challenge in life. And if he returmed home without becoming a marine, he wouldn't be just an average guy. Never has been. I've tried encouraging him to stay, but he refuses and says this isn't for him... In his words, "I want to come home to you and live a normal life and have a family who doesn't have to worry about their daddy/husband going off to war...I don't have it in me to kill people, and the marines have degraded me and let me down. I made a promise to you to be your husband and live under one roof, under one God and come home after 3 months. If I went back to training, it would put me back to day 1 and to me - the marines are not worth it. No career choice nor the marines are worth more than the promise I made to you."

DOC, he is not feigning illness. He had a bone scan done and it showed fractures in both heels that will take 7-9 weeks to heal. I can't believe you would even say this to me. I've done a little research on my own and that is how I came across Administrative separation and Honorable discharge due to failure to adapt. He is not yet a marine anyways until he completes boot camp. I've seen recruits get out on medical discharges due to broken bones and fractures.

You people are NOT answering my question. Stop telling me what I should and just answer the question please? If you don't know the answer, keep your 2 cents to yourself. I have TRIED my hardest to encourage him to stay but he "wants out". My dad was in the army and served in the vietnam war 68-69...he said during his boot camp a boy slit his wrists and held them over a sink because that is how depressed he was! I don't want him attempting suicide or having futher mental damage done (Post traumatic stress syndrome). So once again, SOMEONE who has knowledge of this WITHOUT judging him for his decision please help me out here. If not, I'll stick with what I know.

lol...well thanks for your help, but the gay thing won't work...he's already informed everyone that he is engaged to a woman.

Once again. Thank you for your answer, but this is not what I am looking for. You don't understand what exactly I am saying. Noone can force you to become a marine if you don't believe in killing people. Therefor, conscientious objector applies. That is, military regulations provide discharge or transfer to noncombatant status(for those who have been through boot camp and combat school) for people who object to "participation in war in any form." So if he can't get a medical discharge or simply go home because he is not adapting to military life(administrative separation), then he can for sure get out based upon this. He's not making any of it up, he's not even aware of these laws and regulations...I'm going by what he has told me in his letters and if there is no convincing him in staying, then why waste the commanders time, efforts, and money on someone who simply does not want to kill?

*** Thanks everyone who answered. I just received good news that he is indeed coming home. He explained his depression to them and that he took antidepressants in college, so they are sending him home on a medical discharge. God bless you all!! :)

Answer 1

Addendum:
OK *sigh*, let me try and say this again in another way. "Calc. Fx" AKA Calcaneus Fracture, probably stress induced (the heel bone). Hard to get and hard to get rid of. Best diagnosed in the field by having said patient attempt to jump -- will probably actually cause a thru and thru fracture (really bad), in a clinical environment is to do an x-ray or a bone scan. Generally, 6-8 wks healing time. Calcaneal fractures can and usually do take longer. For him to attempt to get out under any other condition would be feigning of illness or injury. Have him talk to the Podiatrist and see if the Pod. will do the paperwork to launch him. It becomes a matter of both dollars and cents as well as of assets and liabilities. His fx's are probably going to (in the short long run) be a costly endeavor. As for his being degraded into being a killer, what was he thinking? Regardless of MOS, every man in the Corps is an infantryman. And in war, guess what... My best wishes to you and yours. Semper Fi!

Answer 2

I urge you to try to support him, and help him stay the course and become a Marine. I'm sure he has a bleak out look on things because he is broken and can't do much. Just remember the worst feeling a person will ever have in life is regret, 1, 5, or 20 years from now he's going to look back and wish that he could have made it through, so give him some encouragement. After all it's not as tough as it seems even at the worst, millions have walked the same path that he is on right now and they became Marines. Ask yourself what would make you more proud to see your fiancee as a Marine in his dress blues, or just an average guy who quit what was probally the first real challenge of his life.

He may say he wants to come home, but really he may be looking for some encouragement.

Answer 3

He won't be coming home. He is going to be depressed. Boot camp opens up a million different emotions regular people don't go through during a normal day. That is the point. It is an exercise of taking the INDIVIDUAL out of you and MAKING you a team player. It is not summer camp that's for sure, but he will get over it and through it. It does suck to be hurt in boot camp, but he will get through that too. He will be given the best medical there is to recover and he will be put back into the training pipeline when he is well enough to do so. His best bet is to do each day ONE DAY AT A TIME. He will never make it in the head if he looks out two days in advance or a week or a month or whatever. One day even one hour at a time until things resolve themselves. Marine boot camp is not supposed to be easy and it's not and never will be. Coping skills are something they are trying to give you by making him do all the crap he is having to do. If he can cope with stupid crap in boot camp, and it can be really stupid, he will be more than just fine in a real life day to day Marine life. I'm a Sailor and I can guarantee you that the things I did in boot camp seem crazy to me and I was 29 at the time. When I got to my ship I realized the weird little exercises the routine things we had to do everyday made sense. Yes folding all your clothes like a freak of nature is weird until you see where you get to store your clothes onboard the ship and then the picture gets really clear that you learned something very important. Same thing goes for getting dressed in the dark, watchstanding and the whole package of being a Sailor in boot camp. This is very true with the Marines too. Your guy is only upset because he is hurt, missing you, missing home, in a freaky new environment that never relaxes and he doesn't know what to do with all the crap in his head. Marine life is not this crazy once he graduates, he just needs to learn what they are teaching him so when he does get to the real Marine life he will have the instant thought processes he will need to do his job in a superior and safe manner without even thinking twice. SO, here it is, he is not coming home, he needs to just deal day to day and when he is done we will be able to relax and look back and understand why what is going on in boot camp is going on. There IS a reason for everything and being a Marine in real life is not boot camp. It is hella fun and something all Marines are way proud of and happy they did. You need to support him and get his spirits back up so he can go on because he will be going on if he likes it or not but to be his best when he heals he will need to have his mind 100% in the game.

Answer 4

When I was in boot camp for the Navy I remember hearing horror stories about being stuck on medical hold from 6 months to over a year. I talked to some of these recruits myself. I don't know the difference with the reserves but I imagine it would be similar. Also If he pisses off the wrong person they could make it even more difficult for him. That was ten years ago so maybe things are better now.
Sorry to be a bummer.
Good luck and let him know his situation is only temporary and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 5

No offense but your husband to be signed a contract, meaning he's obligated to finish boot camp and serve (regardless of active duty or reservist). I understand his emotions are overwhelming but he needs to finish what he started. If his injuries were so severe, the USMC would discharge him medically. Obviously, he's very much capable of finishing. Tell him to stay with it, it's tough and sometimes seems impossible but he can do it. I think joining the Marines was probably one of the best things I have ever done! I am proud to serve my country and I'm willing to do what ever it takes to do so.
Tell him to stick it out...everything will work out just fine in the end!

Staff Sgt. Jason V.
2nd Battalion, 7th Marines, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force - Semper Fi

Answer 6

There are few people who really want to "be there" when in boot camp. I am sure that is elevated when one is needed to be there longer for medical reasons. He signed a contract and is "owned" by the government until either his contract is finished or they decide to release him. If they do decide to let him go without completion, it will be as soon as they can. Everyday he is there he is costing the government money (as bad as it sounds). If it is possible, he should stick it out. He will have a great feeling of accomplishment once basic is completed. Remember after basic he will be home a few days and have to leave for another couple of months for MOS training.

Answer 7

Of course they're hard on him. It's boot camp. He probably got hurt before he got to the part where they start building the recruits back up. I'm not surprised he's depressed. Try to convince him to keep thinking about it while he's recuperating. Things will work out the way they should.

Answer 8

Just an idea.. With the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, if he just admits to being openly gay then they'll discharge him. I know it's probably a long shot, but if he really wants out thats one way to do it.

Answer 9

4th generation military and wants to give it up?

Are they to tough on the man?

Or did he think it would be all parades and bugles?

Sorry but we are at war, military training is tough and designed to make the soldiers or marines tough , mentally and physically.

Some can.t make it and some shouldn't even try, but how to quit? I wouldn't have a clue.