we were discussing the future and i said that i wanted to help and educate about abused and battered women and children. he said that there was nothing more to educate about, considering that most of them were extremely over-reacting. he said that there are a few freak cases where the husband/father/boyfriend is insane and beats women for no reason, most of them ask for it and deserve it. and also that abuse isn't abuse unless it is physical. his opinion makes me afraid of him, and think that if i make a simple, "teenage" mistake, that he could become abusive. should i break up with him?
2007-11-08 11:59:06 · 41 answers · asked by Lilly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump his as s immediately and run away screaming. He's an uneducated boob.
2007-11-08 12:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by elvotney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should break up with him. First of all he is being completely neive about the huge problem we have with abuse in this country. and for the record physical is not the only form of abusive there is verbal and sexual abuse that is just as harmful. Frankly i believe he just gave you a very good reason to educate people about abuse because obvisouly he is not educated enough about the topic. With that veiw point there is a very good possiblity of someone becoming abusive if he really believes that those women and children deserve the treatment they are getting. Plus for you to talk about your future and what you want to do when you get older your partner should be supportive not putting down what you want to do with your life. and telling you there is nothing more to do is not being supportive
2007-11-08 12:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by bribri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good you're wise now and asking the right questions. I would be pretty cautious about this character since he seems to have a mindset similar to an abuser from what you've said here. Typically, abusers lay blame on the victims and make them feel like they deserved the bad treatment. In truth, no one deserves to be abused, physically or otherwise, so if that's the mindset of your boyfriend, I think I'd bow out of the relationship.
In the future, one thing you might do if possible would be to spend time with your boyfriend ... this current one if you decide to stay with him, or future one(s) ... and his/their parents. The more time the better, so he will have a chance to drop his 'company manners', and observe how he treats his mother. Does he respect her, or treat her with disdain? Is he patient, or does he show a streak of bad temper? It is so common for guys to treat their wives similarly to the way they treat their mothers. I've even seen this in my own husband.
Please take care, and I do hope you make the right choice.
2007-11-08 12:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sort of agree with what he might be saying. The topic is, today something that is very much in the open and the idea that choosing a career centered around bringing awareness to an issue that most people are already very aware about seems kinda dumb.
But, if you have accurately paraphrased the rest of what he actually said he's a bone head and, YES leave sooner rather than later.
2007-11-08 12:12:40 · answer #4 · answered by edoubleyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I'd either break up with him or show him that what he said is sick and plain incorrect! At my school, they did a presentation and the lady wrote a book called But I Love Him. You should read that. Tell him that there are such things such as verbal abuse and other kinds. All of which usually build-up to physical abuse. Just bomb him with evidence of how there are other kinds of abuse and how what you want to do is a good thing. I completely support what you want to do.
2007-11-08 12:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by Jewelry Queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in my opinion, I think that he's just very imature. If he shows no sign of abuse thus far, don't assume that he will be an abuser.
I think that as he matures he'll have a different opinion about these matters. Especially with your guidance. Maybe you can teach him a thing or too!
2007-11-08 12:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by Beth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of a serious situation you have here. Don't break up with him until there is an instance where he abuses you(emotionally or physically).
He sounds as though he'll either be abusive in the future or already has. Just watch out. GOOD LUCK AND STAY SAFE!!!
2007-11-08 12:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by **ArMaNi** 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
heck yes, don't put yourself in a situation EVER where you are with someone who feels that way.
I had 2 abusive boyfriends, and one of them thought the same way your guy thinks, not cool, not fun, I ended up in a shelter for abused women - not somewhere you want to be living I'm quite sure!
Good luck, and there are good guys out there, I know cause my brother is one of them, it helps me keep the faith that I will find my hero some day - and so will you! : - )
2007-11-08 12:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh heck yes! That seems quite crazy that he would say people don't need to be educated about it. Obviously he needs to be if he thinks the only kind of abuse is physical. Sometimes that's the least damaging...plus not even on that level, why is he putting down your goals? That seems to be rather mean! I would drop him.
2007-11-08 12:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by momma.jessy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do not think anyone ask or deserves to be abused.
saying abuse is not abuse unless it is physical in not true.
emotional abuse can be traumatic.
i,m 54 years old and have seen a lot.
i want you happy, but safe.
i would never reccomend dating anone you maybe afraid of.
i hope this helps you. breaking up maybe smart.
2007-11-08 12:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you teenagers? cuz that's kinda what you implied. if so, i think you are too young to be seriously talking about the future when there are so many more guys out there. if he said he could become abusive, definitely break up with him. that's a threat.
2007-11-08 12:03:27 · answer #11 · answered by I'm Just Me ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋