how can I fix my family that is falling apart because of my 12 year old daughter?

Answer 1

Well this your daughter cant be all to blame. It is not fair to only blame one person how does your daughter feel by being blamed for every thing?

Answer 2

You aren't giving much information, so I'm going to make some assumptions. Feel free to email or im if you want to talk more.

I have an adopted daughter who came to live with us when she was 7. She is now almost 16. Five years ago she flipped on us. She was 10 and just became this aweful, nasty, hostile, volatile, mean trouble maker. I was pregnant and the whole time I was pregnant she told me daily that she hoped me and my baby died. She threw things, tried to sabatoge family time. I was living in hell. Now at 15 she has started having sex, smoking pot and cigarettes, shop lifting, stealing from me, skipping school, not doing her school work, making nasty horrible friends, runnning away, sneaking out at night. Need I go on? We have twice put her in a special troubled child program and the 2nd time she was there $150 a day we found out about a whole bunch of stuff. So in January she is going to The National Guard Teen Challenge Program.
Now, you have to be 16, but the reason I'm telling you this is so that you hopefully dont' have to go thru all of this.

What we did wrong was we didn't get firm and hard immediately. Setting limits, restrictions and consequences immediately. My husband should have gotten in her face right a way and set her straight and been consistent. You would be amazed at how well that works.

Everything, and I mean everything is out of her room, except a bed, night stand, desk and dresser. She has no priviledges. If she cusses or calls names she is not allowed to do anything until she apologizes and asks for forgiveness.

This has been the toughest year of my life. But she was ruling the roost and enjoying playing us as puppets.

If need be, I'd get a hard therapist involved. Someone who can set her straight and not let her manipulate. The manipulation will haunt you later.

I don't know if any of this helped, but I hope so. Most important. You and your husband have to be on the same page and be together thru the whole thing or it won't work. Good luck.

Answer 3

A 12 year old cannot cause a family to fall apart. She isn't getting something she needs. Try family counselling.

Answer 4

Spend more time with them. Don't send her away, don't alienate her. Include your daughter in all family events, even if it's going to the grocery store. Remind her that she has a family and that if she does what she's doing for much longer, she'll ruin it all. Try to show her that whatever she's mixed up into isn't worth ruining a family for.

Answer 5

You need to go to therapy and get support.
Depending on the state you live in, there are all kinds of support, including respit so you can get her out of the house. If she doesn't behave, get social services to help out. In Massachusetts, there's tons that you can do for help before the devil child tears your family apart. GET CONTROL. You can do it.

Answer 6

a little more info would be helpful. what's going on with the 12 yr old?

Answer 7

The belt!!!That is what set me strait when i was 12. Explain it to your daughter that you do not want to hurt her, but you are trying to show her correction.

Answer 8

How is she causing it to fall apart?

Answer 9

That's pretty mean to blame your twelve year old daughter. What all did she do?

Answer 10

We need a little more details to really answer this question.