I always misjudge them. I think I'm very good at reading people, and I usually am, the only time it fails is when I'm looking for a date/boyfriend. I try soooo hard to find the smart nice guys, but it never works out that way... I think of myself as at least above average intelligence, and whenever I think I've found someone who I think I could actually carry on a decent conversation with, I turn out to be wrong.
Of the last 3 boyfriends I had:
1. stupid as ****
2. stupid as **** and cheated on me
3. stupid as ****, shoved me all the time AND cheated on me.
Why am I so bad at picking guys??? Do you guys have any advice?
2007-11-08 11:09:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
to wgm:
why do I think I am above average intelligence? Well, even though I don't take IQ tests as the end-all-be-all, I do usually score in the low to high 140's & I find most people extremely stupid. Therefore, if I find these people stupid, I am most likely smarter than them, and they are "average" intelligence. Though I am by no means saying that I'm Einstien. I didn't choose to include this part in the original question, because I was not trying to brag or any such thing, just looking for advice. Also, when I say 'read' people, I don't mean turning up my nose because I can tell they're poor. I mean, things like "this girl seems like a kind of girl to start drama, just keep that in mind.."
And I actually specifically try and avoid going for the attractive guys. I have only ever gone out with a guy for his appearance when I was in middle school... if then...
2007-11-08 11:34:15 · update #1
And yes, I realize in justifying "why" I am above average, I sounded quite arrogant, but you can't ask someone to tell you how they figure they're "special" WITHOUT sounding kinda arrogant...
2007-11-08 11:38:36 · update #2
Ask him: "Are you an atheist?"
If he answers no, turn on your pretty heels and head for the door.
Problem solved. Don't bother to thank me.
2007-11-08 11:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Bad Liberal 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two possible solutions:
1. Look for a different kind of guy. You think you know what kind of guy is good for you, but you obviously don't. Think different. Think about men you like, think about what attracts you to those men, and think carefully about whether that's really a good quality. Then try to think of different qualities that might be better, which you had not thought of before.
2. Have your friends choose a guy who they think would be good for you. I have a niece who had your exact problem for years -- one drama-filled relationship after another, followed by painful breakups. Then one day some friends told her they knew a guy who they thought would be right for her. They went on a date and wham! A year later they were engaged.
Sometimes other people can see you more objectively than you see yourself, so they can pick better than you can pick for yourself.
2007-11-08 19:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Agellius CM 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Me too, that is why I have not remarried yet. I could not tell one coming from a mile away. lol I know what you mean. it is very frustrating. I have a guy friend that is so sweet and nice, but the more I get to know him, the more controlling I see him becoming. You just need to pray about it. God knows who and what you need. You may also need some inner healing to heal from your past hurts, this will help you from choosing the wrong guy. Just keep trusting in God to bring the right people your way. You don't have to jump into any relationship, make them prove themself to you for awhile.
2007-11-08 19:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this is your problem. In your own words "I think of myself as at least above average intelligence" - Why?
Stop thinking your good at reading people. I often let people think what ever they want about me. If I pick up that a person is pre judging me, based on THEIR life.( they don't have any other means ). I will do little if anything to change their mind.
On what basis do you find people stupid. Can you do everything?
2007-11-08 19:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to find a good man of God with some real character,not just looks.Are you just picking them because they are good looking?Be friends first,see if you even like with is inside of them before you decide you will date them.Watch the way they are in all situations,with their friends and yours.If he hate his mother RUN,he will transfer his hate for her to you.You are the decider NO THEM take charge of what you want in a man,write down the quality's you want in a man.Decide you can live with and what you will not tolerate.Good luck and Shalom
2007-11-08 19:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're in RS so you're going to get some spiritual advice...
He who FINDS a wife, finds a good thing. You need to stop looking and start hiding yourself in Christ so that man can FIND you.
The dummies are too lazy to work for a woman of virtue...so if you BE that woman, you'll automatically eliminate the dregs.
Man looks at the outside but God looks at the inner man. Let Him be your Guide...
2007-11-08 19:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to find better places to meet them... Get involved in things that matter to you, you may find the guys that have the smarts and passions you are looking for.
2007-11-08 19:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for intelligent looking nerds rather than the good looking airheads.
2007-11-08 19:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by Dendronbat Crocoduck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're signalling to them that you are easy to abuse, so they play a character to attract you. Break the cycle. Make them come to you.
2007-11-08 19:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the teener dating forum.
2007-11-08 19:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by June smiles 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋