My Uncle passed away from a long battle of cancer and in a way i am relieved because he is not longer suffering and sad at the same time for the loss in my family. This is my moms brother and he is the 2nd one in our family to die of cancer in 8 months, the other one was another uncle who had suffered for 2 yrs with lung cancer also my moms brother. I didn't attend the other funeral either due to lack of funds to travel. This time my 2 yr old twins are ill(bronchitis) so i feel as if i cannot take the chance on traveling with them by myself. Am i wrong for not going, for feeling like i do i would rather remember him the healthy happy man i knew than the one who dwindled to 150lbs and was so sick he couldn't even talk.
2007-11-08 10:42:53 · 11 answers · asked by life as we know it 4 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Thanks to all of you
2007-11-08 11:11:55 · update #1
YOu are not bad by not going to the funeral. For you to remember him as that happy, healthy man is ok. You must do what you feel inside. We go to funerals to show respect to those living however if it makes you uncomfortable then send a card, call or give a donation in his memory.
We all deal with death in our own way and that is ok. With your 2 year olds sick, it is wise to stay and take care of them. I am sure everyone will understand and especially your uncle who is looking down on you now with a smile.
2007-11-08 12:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going to the funeral does not change the fact that he passed away. Attending the funeral is out of respect for your mother, she needs you at this time and to see her grandchildren will brighten her day. I'm not trying to be hard on you and say you are wrong if you don't attend the funeral. It is harder for some to deal with death. You know since your mother lost 2 brothers from cancer her risk of having cancer is very high, that is something I hope you never have to face. Good luck in your decision.
2007-11-08 11:01:30 · answer #2 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel guilty about not going to the funeral. Funerals are a way for us to grieve and say goodbye. Your uncle is in a better place, and he is not taking attendance. Funerals help those of us who are still here cope with the loss. You have a family to take care of, and they come first. You can send your family your condolences in the form of a nice floral arrangement. Let the guilt stop right now.
2007-11-08 10:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by *Honk Honk* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family should understand that you have 2 sick kids at home. My mom died when I was 8, 2 years after her my grandad, then a year after that my aunt. I did not go to any of the funerals, not even my moms. I was not able to go into a funeral home until I was in high school and then it was to a showing for a close friend who died of lukemia. I passed out when I got to the casket, he was in the same room and same funeral home as my mom and when I looked at him I saw my mom and out I went. I did not attend a funeral until my maternal grandpa died in 1994.
2007-11-08 10:51:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go if possible. However, funerals are for the families to say good bye, not for the person who died. Im sure your uncle knows you cared for him. I think it is impt to keep your children healthy and safe. They already have bronchitus, exposing them to people they are not around normaly, plus transportation and accomadations will expose them to more germs and perhaps make them sicker.
2007-11-08 10:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go, you can talk about the man you knew, not how he died.
If you do not go, make sure that everyone knows that you could not attend due to sick children, so that they do not think you are being rude.
2007-11-08 11:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by StephenWeinstein 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I consider your dad would like seeing you later and on the day of the funeral name your dad to say you're pondering of him,or ship him a fine card, then consult with him when the flights are more cost-effective your dad is familiar with dont worry too much....
2016-08-06 03:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of your dad could like seeing you later and on the day of the funeral call your dad to assert you're thinking of him,or deliver him a advantageous card, then bypass to him while the flights are extra maximum economical your dad knows dont difficulty too a lot....
2016-10-01 22:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are struggling and that it would be very difficult to do this. Call, send a card and remember with them when he was well.
2007-11-08 13:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send you warm thoughts to your family. Remember him when he was well and the memories you have.
Regards
2007-11-08 10:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by Squat1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋